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Posts by Brunasingh [Suspended]
Name: Bruna Singh
Joined: Sep 8, 2016
Last Post: Sep 16, 2016
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Brazil
School: Unicuritiba

Displayed posts: 4
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Brunasingh   
Sep 16, 2016
Writing Feedback / The rise of crime rate as the main worry in some countries. Solution? Invest in basic social rights. [2]

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

The increasements of crime rate are becoming the main worry of some countries. Poverty and the lower investment in basic rights cause this raising of criminal acts. This essay will show the main reason of the boosted of law violations and the best way to prevent.

The lack of investment in social rights are the main reason of the raising of crimes. Governments should spend better the public money guaranteeing good public education, basic sanitation conditions, access to public health to the marginalized population. Therefore, a person who lives without the basic social rights, who could never have a good education and a healthy place to leave, tend to committee a crime to survive their own environment. For instance, developed countries, as Sweden, which invests a lot in education, health, and other social rights has lower crime rate than in undeveloped countries, as Uganda, which a bunch of the population doesn't have access to a basic sanitation condition.

Consequently, to prevent crimes governments need to invest public income to the guarantee of more basic rights. The country finance should be widely shared with the social issues, as education and the access to the public hospitals. The effect can be realized in future: with a better live condition, the crime rate will decrease. Thus, the guarantee to a child the access to good public schools, a place to live with excellent basic sanitation, the right to have access to medication and hospitals, will give this child the opportunity to grow economically and socially. Then, difficulty a child with all these rights will commit a crime in future.

Hence, the investment in basic social rights is essential to prevent the increasements of crimes. Governments should stop excluding the population of their own rights and must spend the public income mainly in education and health.
Brunasingh   
Sep 8, 2016
Writing Feedback / The government should use the money invested in arts to spent in public services [5]

Hi, can you give me a grade to this IELTS essay?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere.
To what extend do you agree with this view?


A portion of our society believes that government should use the money invested in arts to spent in public services. It is agreed that arts are important to the expression of a culture, therefore can't be forgotten by the governments. Firstly, this essay will discuss the importance of the arts to the population and, secondly, it will discuss the necessity of art's investment.

Arts are the mainly way to express the culture and the history moment of a society. By the pint, dance, music, literature, people can express their felling, their diversity and tell the history of an society or a political moment for other people from all over the world. For instance, in Brazil, during the dictatorship there were are many censorship, therefore the expression of artist were limited by the dictator. However, there were many artist who are fighting against the dictatorship who expressed hidden their arts by music, literature, dance. Some lyrics had the power to join and give hope for those who wanted to live in a democratic country. One music, in special, became famous due to deceive the faultfinder and got be approved. Nowadays this music which is called "Cálice" is studied in the most of history books and is a mark of the fight against the dictatorship.

Arts, also, are often poorly funded. Besides of the importance of public service to the society, arts can't be excluded of the public budget. Government should reserve a parcel of society income to invest in arts, therefore they are going to invest in the culture their own citizen and it maybe returnee economically with tourism . For instance, one of the portfolios of Brazil is the Carnival, which is a big party knowledge by all the world. The investment in the music, dance, paints and other types of arts during the Carnival attack million of people from different parts the world to Brazil.

Therefore, arts shows the culture of a society, a political moment, a history of a country. Thus, if government stop to spent money in theater, music, literature, dance they are going censor those artist in an indirect way and lose money with tourism.
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