Writing Feedback / The Urgency of Prohibition to Mobile Phone Utilization in Public Places (Writing IELTS Task 2) [4]

Please review and give suggestion to my essay. I'm in practice for my upcoming test.

Question: The use of mobile phones in public places is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places, so mobile phones should be banned in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The utilization of mobile phones in public area is considered as unsympathetic action as smoking. The latter one is already imposed by strict rules in several places, and some opinion raise among public that it should be implemented to the use of this type of sophisticate technology as well. It is disagreed that the obligatory prohibition on this particular case should be urged and several relevant reason will be presented further in this essay.

The human right is the first thing which should be protected and prohibit people from using mobile phones violate that fundamental aspect. When the sales of this communication technology product is permissible in every part of this world, just like food or other basic needs, it can be inferred that mobile phone has become an important part of human life. There are many research conducted on this discourse and the result is identical each other which told that mobile phone is just as important as daily meal. Thus, the urgency of law-making regarding this is not imperative.

The level of harmful effect produced by mobile phone is another aspect to discuss. The considerable damage to social life influenced by people interact with their gadget in public places is non-existence until this essay is written. Conversely, smoking showed by many research have an obvious danger and the implementation of strict rules on it is a good decision. In this sense, to ban the use of mobile phones in public places is unreasonable.

In conclusion, the right of every people to use their private cell phones and the minimum level of possible drawbacks affected to other citizen are the reason that a ban imposed on it is unacceptable. Therefore, it is easily rejected because such step does not have a significant impact for social life.

Writing Feedback / The possession of car in a proportion of no car, one car, two cars, and more than two cars in Canada [4]

Writing IELTS Task 1 (Diagram) Need Review and Suggestion

Number of cars in the maple leaf country

It is noticeable that the majority of Canadian owns only one car while a little group of them have two or more. Furthermore, almost half of the adult Canadian sum up the group of having no ownership of this type of vehicle and two cars in possession.

The biggest group in this category, a little bit exceed from 50%, is adult in Canada who owns only a car in their garage. In the contrary, the smallest proportion of them or about only 5% possess more than two for their travel needs.

Another group is Canadian with two cars which including about 25%. The last proportion is distribute among them who do not own any of this vehicle. It is less than a quarter or about only 15% of total Canadian adult population.

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Writing Feedback / Writing IELTS Task 1 (Diagram) of recreation places in Britain in the last year of the 20th century [4]

recreational places choice by British people

The diagram shows four choices of recreation places by Britainian in 1999 including theme park, museum and galleries, historic houses and monuments, and wildlife parks and zoos.

It is noticeable that theme park became the first choice of local tourist in England and wildlife parks or zoos was the last in mind to spend their leisure time. Entertainment attractions was more preferable than other type of recreation places.

Theme park became the most visited by Britanian with the percentage of 38% and this amount distributed into five choices of attractions. Among those five Blackpool Pressure Beach was the most favorite with 47% of theme park visitor and Chessington World of Adventure as well as Legoland in Windsor became the last choices with only 10% of theme park visitor.

Museum and Galleries had almost the same amount of visitor as theme park with only 1% different. Educational recreation chose only about one-sixth of overall tourist in England while natural places had the least of fans at 9% of visitor.

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