Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1 - adult education argument [3]

school systems services to adult learners

The charts below show the result of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reason why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared.

The charts illustrate information about adult education. The bar chart describes the motives of adults to pursue scholarship. The pie chart provides data on people's opinion about how the fee of education should be paid.

In general, most students choose to study because of their personal interest and they should be supported in paying educational fee.

It can be seen from the bar graph, 40% of students decide to learn because they are fond of the subject. The following reason is achieving certificates with 38%. In addition, the least popular reasons are socializing and shifting jobs accounting for 9% and 12% respectively. Data for other motives such as obtaining promotion, being better at current job and finding the joy in learning is approximately 20%.

As can be withdrawn from the pie chart, public believe that scholars only ought to be responsible for less than 50% of the cost, whereas taxpayer and employer should share the expense, with 25% for the former and 35% for the later.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1. How to build your own water clock. [3]

water clock step by step

The diagram below shows the process for making a water clock.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram describes how to recreate a water timer. In general, the process includes many steps, beginning with the flow of water from the tap and ending at the plastic bottle.

To begin with, a set of compartments is required to build the water clock. First of all, a L-shaped stand is put under the tap with its top attached to a plain plastic bottle whose bottom has a hole by tape. In addition, a straw is glued into one side of that bottle. At the bottom of the stand, there is a stratified bottle with its neck cut off.

Once the tool is ready, turn on the tap and put a finger beneath the plain bottle to allow the water to fill in. The excess amount of water will leave through the straw in order to keep the water level unchanged. After that stage, release the finger to let water flow into the second bottle which displays levels per minute. Finally, eliminate the content and repeat another process.

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Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 2. The topic is about talent in art. [2]

'anyone can do it' attitude

In some countries today, there is an attitude that 'anyone can do it' in arts-music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated.

Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is concerned that mediocre talents which earn people money and fame will lead to the undervaluation of genuine ones, with the popularity of the motto 'anyone can do it'. In my opinion, I do not subscribe to that statement because of two main reasons.

First of all, only true talents can shine and stay in the spotlight for a long period of time. With the help of internet and streaming videos, people can easily upload their performances which can go viral for a while if the responses are positive. Many international artists have done this to obtain their first contract with the CD labels, such as Colbie Caillat, Justin Biebers or Boyce Avenue. However, it is extremely crucial to remember that after that stage, they continuously gave the audience more of their artistic developments as well chart-topping songs in order to stay popular. In contrast, thousands of Youtube singers are forgotten because the lack of authentic gifts.

Second, it should be accented that people need to be more inspired and encouraged to show their talents in front of public, even if they are not exceptional or phenomenal like well-known artists. For instance, many reality shows like The Voice, X factors look for talented individuals by giving them incentives to step out of their comfort zones, to take their chances. In other words, without those encouragement, many A-rated singers will still remain unknown.

In conclusion, the worry about people with no talents getting famous at fast pace in our modern community is exaggerated. Speaking from my perspective, I believe that the attitude 'anyone can do it' should be emphasized and only real talents can survive in the competitive atmosphere of creating arts.

Writing Feedback / IELTS writing task 1. The topic is about speed cameras. [2]

The graphs below show the number of drivers in Britain who have been caught driving too fast by speed cameras placed on roads, and the number of people killed in road accidents, over an eight-year period since the introduction of speed cameras. The tables shows the results of a survey on people's opinions on speed cameras.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

number of drivers violating speed limits

Here is my writing:

While the graphs illustrate the number of Britain drivers who have been detected driving too fast by cameras installed on roads, as well as the number of casualties over an eight-year-period; the tables give information on how people think about speed cameras via a poll result. In general, even though more and more drivers are fined, the number of deaths caused by traffic accident changes slightly with the negative opinion of citizens against speed cameras.

It can be seen obviously that the number of drivers violating speed limit rises dramatically, starting at 200.000 and then rocket to 1.600.000 in the period. In other words, the data for careless drivers in the 8th year is eight times higher than in the 1st year. In contrast, the number of fatalities caused by road accidents fluctuates with small dips in the 4th and 6th years .

Clear perspectives of people about speed cameras can be drawn from the tables. Nearly two-third of participants think that speed cameras are ineffective in reducing traffic collisions. In addition, 74% of interviewees believe that the purpose of setting up cameras is not for road safety and more than half subscribe to the idea that those cameras are redundant.

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