'anyone can do it' attitude
In some countries today, there is an attitude that 'anyone can do it' in arts-music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated.
Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is concerned that mediocre talents which earn people money and fame will lead to the undervaluation of genuine ones, with the popularity of the motto 'anyone can do it'. In my opinion, I do not subscribe to that statement because of two main reasons.
First of all, only true talents can shine and stay in the spotlight for a long period of time. With the help of internet and streaming videos, people can easily upload their performances which can go viral for a while if the responses are positive. Many international artists have done this to obtain their first contract with the CD labels, such as Colbie Caillat, Justin Biebers or Boyce Avenue. However, it is extremely crucial to remember that after that stage, they continuously gave the audience more of their artistic developments as well chart-topping songs in order to stay popular. In contrast, thousands of Youtube singers are forgotten because the lack of authentic gifts.
Second, it should be accented that people need to be more inspired and encouraged to show their talents in front of public, even if they are not exceptional or phenomenal like well-known artists. For instance, many reality shows like The Voice, X factors look for talented individuals by giving them incentives to step out of their comfort zones, to take their chances. In other words, without those encouragement, many A-rated singers will still remain unknown.
In conclusion, the worry about people with no talents getting famous at fast pace in our modern community is exaggerated. Speaking from my perspective, I believe that the attitude 'anyone can do it' should be emphasized and only real talents can survive in the competitive atmosphere of creating arts.
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Ngo, try to avoid writing run-on sentences. A run-on sentence is identified as a very long sentence that has different ideas and topics presented in one sentence, separated by commas. When you have less than 3 sentences in your paragraph, as in the case of the opening paraphrase of your essay, you automatically have a run-on sentence and you are producing only 2 sentences per paragraph. That means you are not meeting the minimum paragraph sentence requirement of 3 sentences and your sentence formations are not as good as it can be. When that happens, your GRA score is affected.
Now, I noticed that your essay is focused on YouTube as the center of the "anyone can do it" discussion. Since the prompt indicates a generalized discussion, your response presentation should also be the same way. Remember, there are also street artists and independent performers who do not use YouTube as the launchpad. That is why you need not focus on only one channel of talent showcase for the discussion.
I did observe though that you have an acceptable grasp of the English language and you are able to explain yourself clearly in your presentation. There are very little instances of writing errors that can cause confusion and stress for the reader. This will help you very much in terms of cohesiveness and coherence considerations. You will score very well in that section. So your essay will have a good chance of getting at least a passing score.
In the end, I would have to say that this is a good essay that may get a higher than just passing score. You did almost everything right except for the run-on sentences and focus on YouTube when it should have been a generalized discussion. I also like the way that you were able to present your disagreement with the statement in a creative way that did not follow the memorized response format. That means that the run-on sentences will lower your score, but your innovative writing will also increase the score. It is safe to assume that your score in the GRA section will balance out in the end.