Undergraduate / SUNY Buffalo & Plattsburgh - Dreams and Goals [5]

So here're are the prompts for both schools:

UB: Why I want to study at UB; My Dreams and Goals

I wrote just one essay for both of them. I'm sending it in to UB tomorrow so any last minute suggestions? For Plattsburgh, I hought of just changing the school name and sending it in after New Year at the latest.

Tell me what you think.

Four pairs of eyes stared at me as I braced myself for the yells and screams I would soon hear. Why? Because I had just announced to my whole family that I was going to take an English major at an American university. Almost a split second later, my mother stood up and started yelling at me while my father tried to calm her down. My two younger siblings just watched everything helplessly. I watched my parents and understood how they were both feeling.

Like most parents in my country, they had believed that I would finish high school, attend the University of Medicine and become a doctor. But their dream never turned into reality when my matriculation results came out a week before. I had missed the required marks for the University of Medicine by four mere marks. And this was how I had crushed their dream by accident. And now, instead of apologizing, I had announced another news that would crush their dreams further.

I always knew from the beginning that becoming a doctor was never meant for me. But sadly, my parents did not see it that way. My father, a mariner, was at sea for six months a year. He never knew much about the education system and all; he always agreed to what my mother decided. A retired assistant lecturer, my mother was the one who made all the decisions for my future. She had missed the University of Medicine by a single mark. It still breaks her heart to this day and that's probably why she wants me to become a doctor so badly.

Unlike her, I was taught five subjects out of ten in English during my high school years. In order to be prepared for that, every parent taught their child English at a young age and I was no exception. After learning English however, I became more interested in the language. Reading became my passion while writing, my hobby. I grew attached to the language to the point where sometimes, I would know the name of something in English but not in Myanmar, my native language.

I read novels whenever I was free and started writing my own short stories in middle school. At first it was a hobby, something I did during my free time. But later on, it became something essential. I could no longer go through a day without reading a book or writing a line. I also started to notice that my desire to write was stronger. But my dream was yet to be realized. Some time after I started writing short stories, I also helped edit other people with theirs. I saw this as an opportunity to learn new styles of thinking and writing. The continuous feedback between me and the other authors helped me learn how different people think when they write. I used this information to perfect my writing as well. And this was how I noticed that writing wasn't my ideal dream; editing was.

Becoming an editor at a publishing company was the whole thing I could see myself doing in the future. And that was why I decided to tell my parents about my dream. I knew they were scared. I was too. It had all come crashing down; the fact that I was thinking out of the box and taking a daring chance. Luckily, after a few months and more fights, they gave in and agreed to support my education in America. As soon as I had the green light from them, I started my school search. I had to keep in mind that the tuition fees had to be low as well since my father was the only one supporting our family of five.

And that was when I stumbled upon UB. Being an international student, I could not ask for a campus visit or an alumni interview. All I had was the available resources online and I made use of those. Through these resources, I learnt about the location of the school, the diverse student body, the supportive faculty, the vibrant student life, the well-rounded education and most importantly, the well-stocked libraries. These were all I needed to decide that UB was the university for me. And that is why I am now applying to UB in order to turn my dream of becoming an editor into reality.

Undergraduate / Three Words That describe me - For BU and Yale [6]

I was planning to write one ssay for BU and a different one for Yale. But noticing the deadlines and all, I decided to combine and write just one essay that would fit both prompts. Here are the prompts for each university:

BU: In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

Yale: While we leave the topic of the second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.

Also, I would like to warn you tha I am adicted to story writing so most of my essays start out in a storylike style. I hope this essay and its style is fine. Do tell me if you think I should just change and rewrite everything or the introduction like the usual style.

A seven-year-old girl sat down on her grandmother's lap and reminded the latter that she wanted to watch a late night movie. However, after an eventful dinner, both went to bed early. After lying on the bed for a full fifteen minutes, the girl sat back up and tiptoed to the living room, alone. She grasped around in the darkness, turned on the television and watched the movie she had been waiting for. Her grandmother came out due to the light and the sounds from the television and sighed as she watched her granddaughter, who was extremely determined as always. No matter what it was, the young girl always kept to her word or promise. She would not eat nor sleep until whatever she had planned to do had been completed. When she was determined like this, no obstacle could stop her.

During her private English classes, the teachers would often put the girl in different classes. This change of classes happened at least once a month. At first, she found it hard to attend a class where everyone was a stranger. But soon enough, she learned to adjust to the circumstances and the people around her. She would meet different people and know how to respond to each of them appropriately. Her family also went on road trips, where she had no other choice but to adapt to the new climate, people, food and surroundings. Such events made her a person who could get along with everyone and someone who did not have trouble when changes took place in her life. She had, indeed, become very adaptable.

Many changes have taken place after a decade and I am pleased to say that I have been able to hang on to these two qualities. I have matured and am no longer an only child. Due to having siblings, I have learned that my family cannot pay attention to me all the time and that I cannot depend on them forever and for every little thing. Such realizations have caused me to become more independent. I have learned to take care of myself, as well as honed a few skills in other areas. Even when doing group projects at school, I always take care of my part of the job quickly and efficiently.

It is indeed not easy to describe a person with just three words. Nevertheless, these three words describe me perfectly: determined, adaptable and independent. My independent personality will help me survive on my own while also taking care of my studies. Boston University has a diverse student body and the fact that I am adaptable will surely come in handy when facing new and unique people and situations. Also, when alone in a foreign country, it is hard not to lose sight of your dream. I believe that my determination will allow me to keep on track and achieve my dream, while also being able to assist others who could be in the same situation.

Scholarship / a surfeit of mortgages - BU Scholarship Essay [4]

Hey guys! I am applying to BU's Trustee scholarship and they asked for another essay. Three statements were given and I was to write about one. I will be sending the essay tomorrow so i jsut wanted to check if I wrote it the right way.

The word limit is 600.

3. The current economic crisis traces to a surfeit of mortgages that were sold to people who could not afford them. Some people blame the situation on consumers who failed to evaluate what they were buying; others say the industry defrauded consumers through unclear contracts and promotion. What do you think?

Like the two sides of a coin, most things in life are always paired or can be viewed from more than one perspective. And such is the case of the problem with the industry and the consumers. Neither side can be blamed completely for both sides are at fault. As with human nature, everyone is merely looking for his own profit.

In my home country, Myanmar, buying things in installments are not allowed. If we want something, we have to pay cash down. So there are rarely problems concerning with debts or mortgages. However, there is one type of business I am familiar with, which may be similar to the problem of mortgages. Unlike other countries, the government is the sole supplier of phone lines and mobile phones in my country. Anyone wanting a phone must go to the telecommunications office, fill up a pile of forms and request for one. In front of this office are many people, who sell forms and their services for a price.

At first glance, these form sellers attract people by shouting that applying for a form will only cost around a thousand or so. People lured by these declarations go to these sellers and request for their service. These sellers will in turn fill in the forms, submit them at the office and come back with the total bills and their service charges. At this time, the people who requested for their services will find themselves in a tough predicament. What they had thought would cost only a thousand would be ten times the price. This is due to the fact that the price the sellers had been yelling was the price of only one form. But these sellers had already submitted ten or more forms under the buyer's name. And so, since the forms had already been submitted, the buyer would have no choice but to pay.

In this kind of situation, neither side can be blamed for. The buyers had requested for the services voluntarily and from their point of view, it is the seller's fault. The buyers would argue that the seller should have been clearer about the price and such. On the contrary, from the seller's view, the buyers are at fault. A seller would argue that the buyers should have asked carefully and looked over everything before deciding to buy the forms. They should not have been persuaded so easily by the seller.

Similarly, with the mortgage crisis, both the industry and the consumer are only looking to gain profits. The industry could argue that it is the consumer's fault for entering a contract without clearly finding out about the terms. Or maybe the consumers should have made sure that they would be able to pay the debt on time. Nonetheless, the consumer would also argue that the industry had tried to persuade them into entering a contract that did not suit the consumer. It is the fault of the industry for pairing the consumer with a contract that did not match him financially. The industry should have taken the consumer's financial situation into account before convincing the consumer to enter the contract.

As you can see, both sides are simply trying to gain profits and neither side can be blamed for it. Therefore, I think both sides are at fault.

So, what do u guys think?

Undergraduate / Reading has always been a favorite pastime of mine. - Common App [14]

Hello everyone! I'm new around here. I'm still in the process of choosing my colleges but I wish to use this essay as my common application essay (topic of our choice) as well as the admission essay for Columbia College.

Please comment and I appreciate any advice for improvements. :) I'm still not use about the opening line and the last line.

Reading has always been a favorite pastime of mine. In my home country, technology advances slower compared to other countries. As a result, computers and such weren't very abundant when I was young. Reading was the only way I could spend my time as well as gain knowledge.

My grandmother was a history professor and she forced me to read books every day. At first, I read merely so that she would stop scolding me. But as time passed, the number of books I read increased as well as my interest in reading. Soon enough, I would read books whenever I had spare time. Hence, my interest in books started.

In the current information age, technology is replacing most things; people, books, letters and such. In the past, every household had at least one book; whether it be a small pocket dictionary, a magazine or comic. Like most things, however, books are also being replaced by technology. Dictionaries and encyclopedias are also found on CD-ROMs instead of books. Before, newsletters used to flood our mailboxes but now, they flood our inboxes instead. Novels and other literature are also available as e-books, which take less space in the house.

And so it seems that books are not as popular as they once used to be. I, on the other hand, love books. I love the scent of the new paper, the feel of the pages, the color of the hardcover and the spine. The small print words cover page after page and I like to take pleasure in reading them, making sense of what the author is trying to say.

E-books may contain the same content as the real books but the feel of holding a book in one's hand and reading it on a rainy day just can't be compared to anything. You can't get the same feeling from reading an e-book on your computer screen obviously.

I fear that books will no longer be published. It hasn't happened yet, but there's always the chance that it might. And because I am an avid reader, I wish to pursue a career that has something to do with books. And what better way than to become an editor? Helping authors perfect their stories while making books more enjoyable for readers. And that is why I would like to study at your institution and pursue my dream of becoming an editor in the publishing business.

So what do you think? This is just the first draft so Im sure there's lots of room for improvement.

-raven.