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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Mind Chatter (Common App)

3 - I think the story line is good especially the metaphoric interface but it's too abrupt...

UndergraduateTakataka - 2 days ago / Blahblah222222 - 1 day ago
Varsity basketball team (responding to a problem) - UBC SAUDER SCHOOL OF BUSINESS

2 - This is a very interesting presentation. This is one of the few times that I have come across this...

Undergraduatesugarcookie - 1 day ago / Holt - 1 day ago
Entrepreneurial aspirations - Keio PEARL 2025 Admission : Academic and Future Plans

2 - These are 2 separate essays that should be submitted to the system. You should not be combining them...

Undergraduatekkpia1234 - 2 days ago / Holt - 1 day ago
UBC Personal Profile - who you are. "I care deeply"

2 - For the first part of this response essay, you should avoid using the first person pronoun in the discussion....

Undergraduateplantpreyer - 2 days ago / Holt - 1 day ago
Success - What is important to you? Why? - Personal Profile

2 - I would change the focus of this essay response from success to self growth. The actual discussion is all...

Undergraduatesarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024 / Holt - 1 day ago
Hardworking, motivated and caring - University of BC Personal Profile

3 - Interesting essay but I think that this could be more engaging with some changes. First, I think that starting...

Undergraduateproco101 - Nov 11, 2024 / sugarcookie - 1 day ago
surprised by how much you learned - UOFT ONE IDEA ESSAY ARCHITCTURE

2 - The first paragraph needs to be heavily tweaked. Since you are referencing how you developed a love for ocean...

UndergraduateJszyuan - 2 days ago / Holt - 2 days ago
University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I agree with Holt, you should restructure the essay for more clarity. It comes off a bit as confusing...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 9, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024
Smiles After Tears - common app essay

4 - I really like the style and one of voice of this essay however, I found myslef needing to reread...

UndergraduateBlahblah222222 - Nov 23, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024
"Strumming: My Journey in Music" - Common App Personal Essay

3 - Hi Holt thank you so much for responding. My prompt chosen was "Share an essay on any topic of...

Undergraduatejeremynolol06 - Nov 22, 2024 / jeremynolol06 - Nov 22, 2024
PERSONAL STATEMENT REVIEW: Keio University's PEARL program 2025 Fall Admission

3 - @Holt Hi I've checked the PEARL's admission handbook and theres 2 essays: 1 introduction essay with 250 word limit...

Undergraduateanniechu06 - Nov 20, 2024 / anniechu06 - Nov 21, 2024
My journey through athletics - UBC - Tell us about who you are

2 - The students who respond to this prompt always make this common mistake. They always write from their personal perspective...

UndergraduateBenjiT12 - Nov 14, 2024 / Holt - Nov 15, 2024
VEX robot - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

NEW - 3. Describe an example of a situation where you took on a leadership role. Some examples include (but are...

Undergraduatergdg - Nov 12, 2024 / — -
Most significant challenge: rebuilding my self-esteem after losing a love for a sport - UC prompt

3 - @fififlower373 - begin by describing your initial love for flag football - share the sense of fulfillment it gave...

Undergraduatefififlower373 - Nov 7, 2024 / woodg - Nov 11, 2024
How I've been a Bridge Builder in High School (250 word limit) NYU Supplement

3 - @gigi_aa - explain your experience on the international debate stage. - emphasize how observations inspired a desire to act...

Undergraduategigi_aa - Nov 5, 2024 / woodg - Nov 9, 2024
The Innovators Club - U of T Computer Science Supplemental Question

2 - You cannot use a group setting for this response because the prompt is asking you to respond on an...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 4, 2024 / Holt - Nov 4, 2024
Common App Essay—Grandfather's watch

7 - @vamin007 It is definitely engaging. That said, I agree with the other commenters: your essay should focus primarily on...

Undergraduatevamin007 - Oct 17, 2024 / woodg - Nov 3, 2024
My Passion for Helping Children in Need (350 words) - Boston University Supplemental Essay

3 - Merged: My Passion for Helping Children in Need (340 words) Revised Version - BostonU Supplemental Essay I...

Undergraduategigi_aa - Nov 2, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 3, 2024
My Determination and Inspiration for Mathematics in High School (Common App Prompt 1)

3 - What I like about this essay is its simplicity. You are able to convey your love for mathematics in...

Undergraduateessayhelp77 - Nov 3, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 3, 2024
"Unity in Diversity" - How to become a good candidates for GLOBAL UGRAD ESSAY

2 - While your discussion about your growth and development as a community leader is admirable, you have missed out on...

UndergraduateDhani_ja23 - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 3, 2024
The podium in Panama - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

2 - This is a good response but it is not an accurate response. The prompt is focused on having you...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 3, 2024
Mechanical Engineering to be my professional career

6 - @Pallaz The essay is generic. You need to focus on a direct career path that outlines what you want...

UndergraduatePallaz - Oct 29, 2024 / woodg - Nov 3, 2024
The Ideological and Emotional Interconnectedness of Humanity: Common App Main Personal Statement

4 - @gigi_aa Sorry if im too late! After reading this through, I really believe that this an Ivy-league tier essay....

Undergraduategigi_aa - Oct 30, 2024 / franksredhoteats - Nov 2, 2024
Why data science - personal statement (650 words limit)

3 - This essay is great, but considering that this is your Common App essay, I'd suggest focusing on a topic...

Undergraduateundvmn - Oct 30, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 2, 2024
AI markets - Chevening Study in the UK Essay

7 - You mention wanting to meet specific professors, but consider adding a sentence on how you plan to engage with...

UndergraduateChiedu_10 - Oct 23, 2024 / jasminee - Nov 2, 2024
My passion for robotic - AIF Waterloo Comp Eng Question #1

2 - There are 2 ways that this essay can actually proceed for the interest of the reviewer. The first way...

Undergraduatewoodg - Oct 30, 2024 / Holt - Oct 31, 2024
Essay on how Art Inspires me - fascinated forever.

2 - Universities and colleges request their reviewers and admissions committee members these days tend to run plagiarism checkers on the...

Undergraduatelushiousn - Oct 28, 2024 / Holt - Oct 28, 2024
Journey with food - personal essay

2 - I would open the essay with a story about how my distaste for food negatively affected my health. Discuss...

Undergraduatesmerab2207 - Oct 22, 2024 / Holt - Oct 22, 2024
Autobiography - College Essay (Taiwan)

3 - @Holt I took your advices into consideration and added this paragraph as the first one I was born...

Undergraduatejaidenrex - Oct 21, 2024 / jaidenrex - Oct 21, 2024
"Fascination with Architecture"- CommonApp Personal Statement Rough Draft

2 - The content of the essay is too scattered. You are trying to introduce too many facets of your personality...

Undergraduatehiwhatsup - Oct 20, 2024 / Holt - Oct 21, 2024
My history with mathematics!

2 - Are you some sort of Math major? The reason I ask is that the subject you chose for this...

UndergraduateSpandy Sigdel - Oct 20, 2024 / Holt - Oct 21, 2024
"Restart" - Emerson College - what would you title your story and why?

2 - I would suggest that you use the title of the essay at the very beginning. Use a title header...

UndergraduateLicho - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 19, 2024
Don't make up more trash - Math COMMON APP

2 - I believe that you are trying to discuss the evolution and development of your interest in the Math and...

Undergraduateazuuu - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 18, 2024
Ramen noodles - Personal Essay for College

2 - Ramen noodles are supposed to be a part of the lesson that you learned during this time. However, that...

Undergraduatekidwantsknowledg - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 18, 2024
The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK

2 - Sadly the report veers more towards and automatic failing score since it does not meet the 150 minimum word...

UndergraduatePN356 - Oct 17, 2024 / Holt - Oct 17, 2024
Tintin comics were my favorites - common app essay

2 - I am not sure which prompt you are trying to respond to with this essay so my advice regarding...

UndergraduateAmrutaPundlik - Oct 17, 2024 / Holt - Oct 17, 2024
Ballet dancing - Common App Personal Essay

3 - @Holt Thanks for responding, I looked over my essay and also used grammar and could not find any spelling...

Undergraduatek1chikkk - Oct 14, 2024 / k1chikkk - Oct 14, 2024
Tell us who you are - what would your friends/family say

2 - The most common mistake that college applicants make in this presentation is that they always address the input in...

Undergraduatestrawberrymilk - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024
The Paradox of Freedom - A College Entry Essay

2 - Do not lose sight of what these college application essays are for. That is, to help the admissions officers...

Undergraduatemiaarpasi06 - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024
Most significant challenge: Living in the shadow of my twin

3 - Hi, I think your response is very interesting to read. Not a lot of people can write about an...

Undergraduateeandrad321 - Oct 8, 2024 / strawberrymilk - Oct 14, 2024
Essay #1 Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups

2 - You are too simplistic in your discussion. Review the requirements for the content and the basis of the discussion....

UndergraduateNandia20060709 - Oct 11, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024
Defeated ego (undergraduate essay)

2 - You need to edit the word count for this essay. You have to bring it down to 200 or...

UndergraduateMomovich - Oct 11, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024
importance of friendship - UBC Personal Profile - What's important to you

2 - I would not change anything about your response to the prompt. It is important to discuss how your mental...

Undergraduatestrawberrymilk - Oct 10, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024
How well I know the applicant - Davidson Peer Recommendation Essay

2 - You are not the right person to be writing this essay for this applicant because you do not really...

Undergraduatech3gl - Oct 6, 2024 / Holt - Oct 10, 2024
Reading Stories; its impact on my perception of Sexuality (Common App)

2 - This is a wonderfully crafted look into your personality and why it would make you stand out as a...

Undergraduatecadearoos - Sep 30, 2024 / Holt - Sep 30, 2024
Space Boys NFT - My College Application Essay

2 - While the prompt you chose for this narration seems to be applicable on the outset, a deeper reading will...

Undergraduateyonathan2121 - Sep 29, 2024 / Holt - Sep 30, 2024
Navigating Change: Lessons from Birds in Flight - US College common App

3 - @Holt We wrote this for Common App Prompt 1 Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that...

Undergraduatejunkcsr - Sep 28, 2024 / junkcsr - Sep 28, 2024
Finance and Business - UT Austin Transfer essay/Statement of Purpose

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback! So to clarify, I should mainly at the start expand on my experiences...

Undergraduatecarlos0524 - Sep 17, 2024 / carlos0524 - Sep 26, 2024
Perfectly Imperfect - personal statement | International Relations

4 - Merged: Personal Essay / International Relations / PERFECTLY IMPERFECT Personal Essay Share an essay on any topic...

UndergraduateHaiha0205 - Sep 17, 2024 / Haiha0205 - Sep 23, 2024
Learning My Limits (College Essay)

4 - If there was one piece of advice I could share with the world, it would be to embrace mistakes...

Undergraduatezbilly06 - Sep 20, 2024 / zbilly06 - Sep 22, 2024
Motion graphics and animation - sop for ugrad

3 - @Holt yes but its an culture exchange program ....

Undergraduatemaheen07 - Sep 21, 2024 / maheen07 - Sep 22, 2024
My Biggest Victory - Event in my life that illustrates my personality traits - GKS-U essay to PNU

2 - You are not supposed to present your personal statement in chapters. You are to write a full, compiled, and...

Undergraduateelectrise - Sep 21, 2024 / Holt - Sep 21, 2024
Mechanical engineering student - Personal statement for the GKS

2 - Since you are applying as an undergraduate for the Mechanical Engineering course, there is no sense in discussing your...

UndergraduateAimanomania - Sep 21, 2024 / Holt - Sep 21, 2024
To become an engineering student - GKStaking the track of University track

2 - You are applying under the university track of the GKS scholarship, making your application process more cut throat than...

UndergraduateHowarderlguitang - Sep 20, 2024 / Holt - Sep 20, 2024
Second Language a Commitment - Essay Assignment

3 - Acquiring a second language involves more than just picking up a new ability; it's a commitment that calls for...

UndergraduateSampson L - Sep 13, 2024 / KelvinG - Sep 16, 2024
college app essay about my mom's battle with cancer

2 - What you went through does not qualify as an obstacle, challenge, setback, or failure. This is a personal tragedy...

Undergraduatesashay - Sep 13, 2024 / Holt - Sep 15, 2024
A gap year that created Lexibridge

2 - Unfortunately, you cannot end this essay because you have not even completed a draft version. Your ideas are good,...

UndergraduateBbaaye - Sep 12, 2024 / Holt - Sep 15, 2024
Chat with friends - lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success

2 - The story is good, nut not appropriate for the prompt. It is not supposed to tell the story of...

Undergraduateazlan69 - Sep 9, 2024 / Holt - Sep 11, 2024
Psychology journey - statement of purpose for UGRAD

2 - The approach to the statement of purpose is too simple. There needs to be more depth to the personal,...

UndergraduateArmeen - Sep 9, 2024 / Holt - Sep 11, 2024
A whirlwind of hobbies - Personal statement

3 - @Holt Hi, Thank you for responding so quickly. I am choosing to complete the "essay of choice" option...

Undergraduatewhoopdeedoo - Sep 9, 2024 / whoopdeedoo - Sep 10, 2024

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