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|Single mom pharmacy admission
2 - @Stewartalyssa25 Hi there! Welcome to the platform. I think that the direction that you want to take your...
UndergraduateStewartalyssa25 - May 21, 2019 / Maria - May 21, 2019
|School drum-call - the experiences which help me to grow up
2 - @Jenn12 While I think that the introduction is creative, I also believe that balancing that creativity with being formal...
UndergraduateJenn12 - May 11, 2019 / Maria - May 11, 2019
|How do you plan to lead a project or create awareness on Poverty Eradication in your home country?
2 - What I suggest that you can do is directly contact smaller educational institutions and create campaigns within these smaller...
Undergraduateshalahuddinn - May 4, 2019 / Maria - May 4, 2019
|Compare and Evaluate between IKEA and Apple
2 - I would suggest that to avoid making mistakes, you should always opt for a simpler format for your sentences....
Undergraduatexinzhan - Apr 13, 2019 / Maria - Apr 13, 2019
|AAS Supporting Statement - data analyst course.
2 - I would opt that you try to not be repetitive with your usage of words. When you find yourself...
Undergraduatethornberry712 - Apr 12, 2019 / Maria - Apr 12, 2019
|GKS engineering summer program - Solutions to Real Problems
Undergraduateandressag - Apr 12, 2019 / andressag - Apr 13, 2019
|Statement of purpose for POSCO ASIA FELLOWSHIP
2 - Your introductory paragraph is lengthy and dragging. You could better this through cutting down your phrasing and ensuring that...
Undergraduateadeembas - Apr 10, 2019 / Maria - Apr 11, 2019
|For interview about entire university
2 - I like the structure of (current post, previous post, why this post) in answering the "Tell Me About Yourself"...
UndergraduateDhae_89 - Apr 4, 2019 / terminal28 - Apr 4, 2019
|What Harker Heights athletics has meant to me
2 - In paragraph one remove the words "of mine" and "as well." Remove the comma after teamwork and place a...
Undergraduatecreaves - Apr 2, 2019 / Constance - Apr 2, 2019
|Environmental Science - My Study Plan essay for the Canadian Embassy
2 - Sayed, your reason for wanting to study in Canada will be better served if you remove the paragraph about...
UndergraduateNuhash_2001 - Mar 15, 2019 / Holt - Mar 17, 2019
|Scolding parents - This is about myself that I would like to share with you
3 - Amirul, your essay is too rushed and does not effectively introduce you to the listener. You may wish to...
Undergraduateamirul - Mar 13, 2019 / Holt - Mar 14, 2019
|KOREAN GOVERNMENT SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM. Undergraduate, Linguistics.
2 - Hello, jxssx ! In my opinion, this essay is far from the expected personal statement for several reasons....
Undergraduatejxssx - Mar 11, 2019 / asmara1 - Mar 11, 2019
|Biology study - What are your career goals and how did you develop them?
3 - Carmen, the response is incomplete. Either use the first topic sentence about how your goal is to study medicine...
Undergraduatec1019 - Mar 11, 2019 / Holt - Mar 14, 2019
|Ariana Grande is the person that I admire for her striking features
Undergraduatemaithanhthuy - Mar 10, 2019 / maithanhthuy - Mar 11, 2019
|My passion to learn. Transfer Essay / Personal Statement for Mechanical Engineering Transfer
4 - It would be better if you remove the reference to URI in the personal statement since it has a...
Undergraduatemlm428 - Mar 9, 2019 / Holt - Mar 11, 2019
|Cornell LSA transfer essay - Game theory in Chinese agriculture
4 - Yes, you did misunderstand the prompt. The first part is about academic (studying) and professional (work) experience on your...
Undergraduatewwtyooo - Mar 4, 2019 / Holt - Mar 6, 2019
|How can I be unique when I'm not
2 - HI Mary, this is one of the better written essays for this prompt. It works even though it doesn't...
Undergraduatemaryysailor - Mar 4, 2019 / Holt - Mar 5, 2019
|Personal Statement - Transition to the Interior Design of University of Cincinnati
Undergraduatenguye4t6 - Feb 28, 2019 / nguye4t6 - Feb 28, 2019
|Georgetown Transfer Essay: It's The Simple Things
4 - You have not made it clear within the essay that you are transferring from another university. That is why...
UndergraduateJustroks - Feb 27, 2019 / Holt - Mar 1, 2019
|SOP:Texas A&M is unique to me - it has one of the most respected meteorology programs in the country
2 - Ian, these are great personal reasons but it doesn't show you developing your passion beyond watching the weather channel....
Undergraduateiancg - Feb 26, 2019 / Holt - Feb 26, 2019
|Being bold is what I firmly hold onto. NTU Scholarship on my values and beliefs.
2 - Ang, the essay feels choppy when read. The first part about boldness or being bold has a strong written...
UndergraduateAppledoe - Feb 25, 2019 / Holt - Feb 26, 2019
|Ritsumeikan University undergraduate application essay; What are you proud of?
3 - Thank you so much for your feedback! I get what you mean now that I've reread my essay. Thank...
UndergraduateIscoo - Feb 22, 2019 / Iscoo - Feb 23, 2019
|Computer Science Personal Statement Reason for Application Essay for Waseda University
Undergraduatekeichan - Feb 22, 2019 / Holt - Feb 23, 2019
|Why NYU? Transfer Essay College of Arts and Sciences Computer Science Major
3 - Koo, this essay has several presentation points that are not often paid attention to by the reviewer because of...
UndergraduateEpicBoyXP - Feb 19, 2019 / Holt - Feb 20, 2019
|Sustainable management - self introduction, job application
3 - Kim, this is not a very effective job application letter. As a self introduction, it does not help me...
Undergraduatemin0502k - Feb 18, 2019 / Holt - Feb 19, 2019
|A circumstance that challenged me was social anxiety. Supplementary essay for Queens Commerce
3 - Mathew, your opening paragraph sounds so amateur because you are simply paraphrasing the prompt question as an opening sentence....
UndergraduateQueens applicant - Feb 14, 2019 / Holt - Feb 15, 2019
|How much my global perspective may be influenced by being a part of Semester at Sea community?
Undergraduatetaylorl - Feb 14, 2019 / Holt - Feb 15, 2019
|Academic history, your major and/or career goals, cultural understanding - UofWa Personal Statement
2 - Jasmine, you need to better outline the discussion for your essay. It feels like you are jumping around between...
Undergraduatevirdianty - Feb 13, 2019 / Holt - Feb 14, 2019
|QUEENS COMMERCE SUPPLEMENTARY ESSAY - Pick a job and describe impact/greatest learning outcome
2 - Abeyan, you have successfully provided an insightful response statement to the given discussion instructions. I find that you have...
Undergraduateabeyan - Feb 11, 2019 / Holt - Feb 12, 2019
|University of Richmond Transfer Essay - Prompt 3 (time travel)
UndergraduateBryanYack - Feb 11, 2019 / Holt - Feb 11, 2019
|Transfer Statement of Purpose to Texas A&M For Computer Engineering
2 - Ian, since this is a transfer statement of purpose, the focus should be less on the irrelevant internship and...
UndergraduateEpicArcher - Feb 10, 2019 / Holt - Feb 11, 2019
|University of Waterloo AIF Reasons for choosing program and Waterloo (Software Engineering and CS)
2 - Zain, unfortunately, your response statement is not acceptable in terms of referencing why you chose to study Software Engineering...
Undergraduatezainzulfiqar - Feb 10, 2019 / Holt - Feb 11, 2019
|Short Admissions Essay-Different Point of view Teacher
2 - Anijah, the background of the event needs to be made clearer to the reviewer. Why was it important to...
Undergraduateannie_1223 - Feb 1, 2019 / Holt - Feb 2, 2019
|Moving from Venezuela to USA - ADMISSION ESSAY
2 - Daniela, since you did not provide the common app prompt that you are responding with this essay, I will...
Undergraduatedclugom1998 - Feb 1, 2019 / Holt - Feb 2, 2019
|U-Mich Transfer Supplement: Majoring in Computer Science. Topic: Describe the unique qualities......
2 - Akshay, straightforward is always the best to go when writing an application essay. It saves the reviewer the bother...
Undergraduatetransfer_app123 - Jan 30, 2019 / Holt - Jan 31, 2019
|My current goal is to study in the engineering field at Waterloo - they have great co-op programs
2 - AP, your first paragraph contains an acceptable response. The second paragraph though does not come across as specific enough...
Undergraduateap22 - Jan 30, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Semester at Sea will allow me to complete my Psychology requirements and to broaden my horizons
2 - KP, your answer is so far off target that this statement could very well get your application rejected. To...
Undergraduatetiger923 - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Lebanon summer - university interview - working in a team
2 - KArim, the answer you are providing is inappropriate for the prompt. The essay question is designed to find out...
Undergraduatekrkr12 - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|UPenn Essay: what got me in?
4 - Hello Momina! Firstly Congrats on your admission! So what elite institutions like the Ivies look for are...
Undergraduatemominanaveed - Jan 29, 2019 / ZoldyckUSA - Jan 30, 2019
|University of Michigan supplement - My role in the army
5 - Yes. If you are still actively serving in the military, then use the present tense for your presentation. Include...
UndergraduateHawaiiiiii - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Medicine Personal Statement UG Draft1
2 - Pradipta, the idea behind the personal statement is to help establish the foundation and development of your interest in...
UndergraduateZoldyckUSA - Jan 29, 2019 / Holt - Jan 30, 2019
|Cybersecurity - University of Waterloo AIF Reasons for choosing program and Waterloo (CS and CFM)
2 - Ying, you are not being asked for your personal reasons for choosing the course so you should remove that...
UndergraduateFiona1234 - Jan 28, 2019 / Holt - Jan 29, 2019
|Irish school of math - Summer Science Program (short answer)
2 - Richard, you have provided a general response to the question. What you have to present is an actual scientific...
UndergraduateRichardBI - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|The opportunity to propose and implement your own project using your skills, knowledge, and passion
2 - Ayoub, you are over reaching with this essay. The requirement is for you to present only one project. A...
Undergraduateoussama201254 - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|Early Christmas - University of Illinois Urbana Champaign Application Essay
3 - Reuben, you successfully present your relevant skills and academic interest in the essay but you do not successfully explain...
UndergraduateReubenlam - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|Appealing aspects of Jacobs University's academic program
2 - Saidbek, The 2 paragraphs that you write which is supposed to explain the appealing reasons for choosing Jacob's sounds...
Undergraduatesqodirjanov - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|Math and computers - Waterloo University AIF help
4 - Jimmy, the essay lacks a focus on the academic goals that led to your choice of university. There are...
UndergraduateDzh12345 - Jan 26, 2019 / Holt - Jan 27, 2019
|A new fashion industry that I will be a part of creating-FIT application essay
Undergraduatemel_mejia84 - Jan 24, 2019 / Kumka - Jan 26, 2019
|University of Waterloo - what draw my attention there?
3 - You properly address the educational goals and interest in the chosen program. However, your reasons for choosing Waterloo are...
Undergraduateericsaurus - Jan 21, 2019 / Holt - Jan 22, 2019
|From the Booth - RYERSON UNDERGRAD ADMISSION ESSAY
3 - Ryan, for starters don't use the words of Rupert Murdoch to speak for you. Instead, refer the reviewer to...
Undergraduateryanocon44 - Jan 20, 2019 / Holt - Jan 21, 2019
|An essay in which you imagine that you are in a position of leadership in your country/community
Undergraduatealexhaddad - Jan 20, 2019 / Holt - Jan 21, 2019
|SCAD MFA Statement of Purpose: The next step to becoming a more competent interactive designer
2 - Mayuri. the problem with the essay is that you are over discussing every paragraph. Rather than shortening the presentation...
Undergraduatemayuri_s_97 - Jan 20, 2019 / Holt - Jan 21, 2019
|Statement of Intent (Loyola Marymount University Application, Fall 2019)
4 - Jean, Loyola being a Catholic university, requires you to slant your response statement in a religious manner. Think about...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 15, 2019 / Holt - Jan 16, 2019
|A New Light (Ringling College of Art and Design Application Essay)
4 - Jean, when the students who hire me as a consultant for their essays in private ask me how to...
UndergraduateJean145 - Jan 15, 2019 / Holt - Jan 16, 2019
|UBC Undergraduate Application - Who You Are: "Daredevil"
UndergraduateCraftinPark - Jan 15, 2019 / Hawaiiiiii - Jan 28, 2019
|Driven / Debate Club - UBC Personal Profile - who you are
3 - Mathias, you already established that your parents collectively view you are a committed, honest, and strong-willed young man. There...
UndergraduateMrYoda2000 - Jan 14, 2019 / Holt - Jan 15, 2019
|'METAPHOR THAT DEFINES ME' - UBC PERSONAL PROFILE ESSAY
4 - You focused on giving something about yourself and didn't give the same attention to the parents or friends opinion....
UndergraduateAnish_k - Jan 13, 2019 / StevenSameh1512 - Jan 14, 2019
|An 'Insufferable Know-It-All' - Who You Are - UBC Uni Writing Prompt 2019
3 - Change the whole essay. You are supposed to represent yourself from the point of view of up to 3...
Undergraduatekarakimmie - Jan 12, 2019 / Holt - Jan 13, 2019
|"How living in diverse cultures shaped my personality" - UBC Personal Profile Essay
Undergraduateitsavi2208 - Jan 12, 2019 / Mariakono - Jan 16, 2019
|Life Challenge Supplemental Essay for UCLA
2 - Nope. This essay isn't going to work for one main reason, the body of paragraph that shows you disrespecting...
Undergraduatercalv25 - Jan 12, 2019 / Holt - Jan 13, 2019
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