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Writing college admission, application, and scholarship essays

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Empowering others and helping - UGRAD sop

NEW - Hello, I wanna know if there anything I need to change in order to apply and response the prompt,...

Undergraduateferfl - 17 hrs ago / — -

Mechanical engineering as my major - common app

2 - I do not really see the story you are relating as an obstacle or setback for you. There was...

Undergraduatetattoedtoots - 2 days ago / Holt - 2 days ago

Global UGRAD - Eternally Loving Hearts - Young leaders committed to serving home communities

2 - This reference is good in terms of experience, but limited in exposure. Since you are being considered a leader...

Undergraduatettquyen301 - Dec 10, 2024 / Holt - 2 days ago

An efficient Data Analyst - UF Statement Intent

3 - @Holt Thank you for the advice, I'll rewrite my answer to emphasize the specific skills I would like...

Undergraduatejoaquint561 - Dec 9, 2024 / joaquint561 - 1 day ago

UBC Activity Essay - Debate

2 - Do your best to discuss 2 activities in this essay because the reviewer is looking for the ways by...

Undergraduatepystudent - Dec 9, 2024 / Holt - 2 days ago

Father's Birkenstocks - Common App Essay

3 - Thank you, I have thought all of which you said. Do you have any suggestions?...

Undergraduatemaaxx - Dec 9, 2024 / maaxx - Dec 9, 2024

Statement of Purpose- Bachelor of Fine Arts Graphic Design Track

3 - @Holt Thanks for the advice. I understand that a Statement of Purpose is simply just to talk about your...

Undergraduatedragonflypie - Dec 8, 2024 / dragonflypie - 2 days ago

Shy and awkward - UBC: Tell us about yourself

3 - @Holt Thank you so much for your help! I really appreciate it!...

Undergraduates_enav - Dec 8, 2024 / s_enav - 2 days ago

"You write, so you exist" - KUAS Admission Essay

4 - The opening quote feels doesn't relevant to the major that you will pursue....

Undergraduateblissuueticktack - Dec 2, 2024 / Nugraha - Dec 6, 2024

Open-minded and empathic - UBC: Tell us about who you are.

3 - I think you should focus on one or two achievements or skills you have that are widely known by...

Undergraduatetsuikirsten - Nov 30, 2024 / jakartainrain - Dec 1, 2024

"Detail Oriented and Dependable" - UBC application essay: Tell Us About Who You

3 - Thank you so much for the feedback!...

Undergraduatepurinverse - Nov 30, 2024 / purinverse - Dec 1, 2024

A resilient person - UBC Personal Profile

5 - You could refer instead to how your parents reacted to your desire to help the family financially. How...

Undergraduatehighschlstudent - Nov 29, 2024 / Holt - Dec 2, 2024

Varsity basketball team (responding to a problem) - UBC SAUDER SCHOOL OF BUSINESS

2 - This is a very interesting presentation. This is one of the few times that I have come across this...

Undergraduatesugarcookie - Nov 25, 2024 / Holt - Nov 26, 2024

Mind Chatter (Common App)

3 - I think the story line is good especially the metaphoric interface but it's too abrupt...

UndergraduateTakataka - Nov 25, 2024 / Blahblah222222 - Nov 26, 2024

Entrepreneurial aspirations - Keio PEARL 2025 Admission : Academic and Future Plans

2 - These are 2 separate essays that should be submitted to the system. You should not be combining them...

Undergraduatekkpia1234 - Nov 25, 2024 / Holt - Nov 26, 2024

UBC Personal Profile - who you are. "I care deeply"

2 - For the first part of this response essay, you should avoid using the first person pronoun in the discussion....

Undergraduateplantpreyer - Nov 25, 2024 / Holt - Nov 26, 2024

surprised by how much you learned - UOFT ONE IDEA ESSAY ARCHITCTURE

2 - The first paragraph needs to be heavily tweaked. Since you are referencing how you developed a love for ocean...

UndergraduateJszyuan - Nov 24, 2024 / Holt - Nov 25, 2024

Success - What is important to you? Why? - Personal Profile

3 - @Holt Thank you for the feedback. Is there anything else that would be worth changing?...

Undergraduatesarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 28, 2024

Smiles After Tears - common app essay

4 - I really like the style and one of voice of this essay however, I found myslef needing to reread...

UndergraduateBlahblah222222 - Nov 23, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024

"Strumming: My Journey in Music" - Common App Personal Essay

3 - Hi Holt thank you so much for responding. My prompt chosen was "Share an essay on any topic of...

Undergraduatejeremynolol06 - Nov 22, 2024 / jeremynolol06 - Nov 22, 2024

PERSONAL STATEMENT REVIEW: Keio University's PEARL program 2025 Fall Admission

3 - @Holt Hi I've checked the PEARL's admission handbook and theres 2 essays: 1 introduction essay with 250 word limit...

Undergraduateanniechu06 - Nov 20, 2024 / anniechu06 - Nov 21, 2024

My journey through athletics - UBC - Tell us about who you are

2 - The students who respond to this prompt always make this common mistake. They always write from their personal perspective...

UndergraduateBenjiT12 - Nov 14, 2024 / Holt - Nov 15, 2024

VEX robot - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I believe that you should structure your response with a heavier emphasis on what you actually learned from the...

Undergraduatergdg - Nov 12, 2024 / highschlstudent - Nov 30, 2024

Hardworking, motivated and caring - University of BC Personal Profile

3 - Interesting essay but I think that this could be more engaging with some changes. First, I think that starting...

Undergraduateproco101 - Nov 11, 2024 / sugarcookie - Nov 25, 2024

University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

3 - I agree with Holt, you should restructure the essay for more clarity. It comes off a bit as confusing...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 9, 2024 / sarcasticswarley - Nov 24, 2024

Most significant challenge: rebuilding my self-esteem after losing a love for a sport - UC prompt

3 - @fififlower373 - begin by describing your initial love for flag football - share the sense of fulfillment it gave...

Undergraduatefififlower373 - Nov 7, 2024 / woodg - Nov 11, 2024

How I've been a Bridge Builder in High School (250 word limit) NYU Supplement

3 - @gigi_aa - explain your experience on the international debate stage. - emphasize how observations inspired a desire to act...

Undergraduategigi_aa - Nov 5, 2024 / woodg - Nov 9, 2024

The Innovators Club - U of T Computer Science Supplemental Question

2 - You cannot use a group setting for this response because the prompt is asking you to respond on an...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 4, 2024 / Holt - Nov 4, 2024

My Determination and Inspiration for Mathematics in High School (Common App Prompt 1)

3 - What I like about this essay is its simplicity. You are able to convey your love for mathematics in...

Undergraduateessayhelp77 - Nov 3, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 3, 2024

"Unity in Diversity" - How to become a good candidates for GLOBAL UGRAD ESSAY

2 - While your discussion about your growth and development as a community leader is admirable, you have missed out on...

UndergraduateDhani_ja23 - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 3, 2024

The podium in Panama - University of Toronto Computer Science Supplemental Question

2 - This is a good response but it is not an accurate response. The prompt is focused on having you...

Undergraduatewoodg - Nov 3, 2024 / Holt - Nov 3, 2024

My Passion for Helping Children in Need (350 words) - Boston University Supplemental Essay

3 - Merged: My Passion for Helping Children in Need (340 words) Revised Version - BostonU Supplemental Essay I...

Undergraduategigi_aa - Nov 2, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 3, 2024

The Ideological and Emotional Interconnectedness of Humanity: Common App Main Personal Statement

4 - @gigi_aa Sorry if im too late! After reading this through, I really believe that this an Ivy-league tier essay....

Undergraduategigi_aa - Oct 30, 2024 / franksredhoteats - Nov 2, 2024

My passion for robotic - AIF Waterloo Comp Eng Question #1

2 - There are 2 ways that this essay can actually proceed for the interest of the reviewer. The first way...

Undergraduatewoodg - Oct 30, 2024 / Holt - Oct 31, 2024

Why data science - personal statement (650 words limit)

3 - This essay is great, but considering that this is your Common App essay, I'd suggest focusing on a topic...

Undergraduateundvmn - Oct 30, 2024 / gigi_aa - Nov 2, 2024

Mechanical Engineering to be my professional career

6 - @Pallaz The essay is generic. You need to focus on a direct career path that outlines what you want...

UndergraduatePallaz - Oct 29, 2024 / woodg - Nov 3, 2024

Essay on how Art Inspires me - fascinated forever.

2 - Universities and colleges request their reviewers and admissions committee members these days tend to run plagiarism checkers on the...

Undergraduatelushiousn - Oct 28, 2024 / Holt - Oct 28, 2024

AI markets - Chevening Study in the UK Essay

7 - You mention wanting to meet specific professors, but consider adding a sentence on how you plan to engage with...

UndergraduateChiedu_10 - Oct 23, 2024 / jasminee - Nov 2, 2024

Journey with food - personal essay

2 - I would open the essay with a story about how my distaste for food negatively affected my health. Discuss...

Undergraduatesmerab2207 - Oct 22, 2024 / Holt - Oct 22, 2024

Autobiography - College Essay (Taiwan)

3 - @Holt I took your advices into consideration and added this paragraph as the first one I was born...

Undergraduatejaidenrex - Oct 21, 2024 / jaidenrex - Oct 21, 2024

"Fascination with Architecture"- CommonApp Personal Statement Rough Draft

2 - The content of the essay is too scattered. You are trying to introduce too many facets of your personality...

Undergraduatehiwhatsup - Oct 20, 2024 / Holt - Oct 21, 2024

My history with mathematics!

2 - Are you some sort of Math major? The reason I ask is that the subject you chose for this...

UndergraduateSpandy Sigdel - Oct 20, 2024 / Holt - Oct 21, 2024

"Restart" - Emerson College - what would you title your story and why?

2 - I would suggest that you use the title of the essay at the very beginning. Use a title header...

UndergraduateLicho - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 19, 2024

Don't make up more trash - Math COMMON APP

2 - I believe that you are trying to discuss the evolution and development of your interest in the Math and...

Undergraduateazuuu - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 18, 2024

Ramen noodles - Personal Essay for College

2 - Ramen noodles are supposed to be a part of the lesson that you learned during this time. However, that...

Undergraduatekidwantsknowledg - Oct 18, 2024 / Holt - Oct 18, 2024

Common App Essay—Grandfather's watch

7 - @vamin007 It is definitely engaging. That said, I agree with the other commenters: your essay should focus primarily on...

Undergraduatevamin007 - Oct 17, 2024 / woodg - Nov 3, 2024

The chart shows the total distance travelled by passengers on five types of transport in the UK

2 - Sadly the report veers more towards and automatic failing score since it does not meet the 150 minimum word...

UndergraduatePN356 - Oct 17, 2024 / Holt - Oct 17, 2024

Tintin comics were my favorites - common app essay

2 - I am not sure which prompt you are trying to respond to with this essay so my advice regarding...

UndergraduateAmrutaPundlik - Oct 17, 2024 / Holt - Oct 17, 2024

Ballet dancing - Common App Personal Essay

3 - @Holt Thanks for responding, I looked over my essay and also used grammar and could not find any spelling...

Undergraduatek1chikkk - Oct 14, 2024 / k1chikkk - Oct 14, 2024

Tell us who you are - what would your friends/family say

2 - The most common mistake that college applicants make in this presentation is that they always address the input in...

Undergraduatestrawberrymilk - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024

The Paradox of Freedom - A College Entry Essay

2 - Do not lose sight of what these college application essays are for. That is, to help the admissions officers...

Undergraduatemiaarpasi06 - Oct 14, 2024 / Holt - Oct 14, 2024

Essay #1 Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups

2 - You are too simplistic in your discussion. Review the requirements for the content and the basis of the discussion....

UndergraduateNandia20060709 - Oct 11, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024

Defeated ego (undergraduate essay)

2 - You need to edit the word count for this essay. You have to bring it down to 200 or...

UndergraduateMomovich - Oct 11, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024

importance of friendship - UBC Personal Profile - What's important to you

2 - I would not change anything about your response to the prompt. It is important to discuss how your mental...

Undergraduatestrawberrymilk - Oct 10, 2024 / Holt - Oct 12, 2024

Most significant challenge: Living in the shadow of my twin

3 - Hi, I think your response is very interesting to read. Not a lot of people can write about an...

Undergraduateeandrad321 - Oct 8, 2024 / strawberrymilk - Oct 14, 2024

How well I know the applicant - Davidson Peer Recommendation Essay

2 - You are not the right person to be writing this essay for this applicant because you do not really...

Undergraduatech3gl - Oct 6, 2024 / Holt - Oct 10, 2024

Reading Stories; its impact on my perception of Sexuality (Common App)

2 - This is a wonderfully crafted look into your personality and why it would make you stand out as a...

Undergraduatecadearoos - Sep 30, 2024 / Holt - Sep 30, 2024

Space Boys NFT - My College Application Essay

2 - While the prompt you chose for this narration seems to be applicable on the outset, a deeper reading will...

Undergraduateyonathan2121 - Sep 29, 2024 / Holt - Sep 30, 2024

Navigating Change: Lessons from Birds in Flight - US College common App

3 - @Holt We wrote this for Common App Prompt 1 Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that...

Undergraduatejunkcsr - Sep 28, 2024 / junkcsr - Sep 28, 2024

Motion graphics and animation - sop for ugrad

3 - @Holt yes but its an culture exchange program ....

Undergraduatemaheen07 - Sep 21, 2024 / maheen07 - Sep 22, 2024

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