(background in Accounting and Financ) - Scholarship Cover Letter Review

Please find enclosed my application for a scholarship from your esteemed university. As requested, I am attaching to this letter; a copy of the application form, letter from referee (2 provided) and photocopies of my academic transcript and certificate.

I am the first child in a family of four and I have been a guardian for my siblings since our father passed away in 2004. I have worked extremely hard and practically put my life on hold to take care of my siblings since my father died when I was only 20years old. Thankfully the last child of the family graduated this year, easing the pressure on me and increasing the chances of me developing myself and my career.

I have a background in Accounting and Finance, with the recession and congestion in the accounting and finance field, I decided to specialise in Purchasing, Logistics and Supply Chain Management. Getting a job in this field has been very challenging because of my lack of experience and qualification, my sponsor who happens to be a Supply Chain Manager at the Coca Cola Company advised that I took a Master's course in this field.

I have chosen this career path because of the increasing demand in the Purchasing and Supply Chain Management field. After my post grad studies, I intend to apply for a job in a Public Sector/NGOs or multinational firm in retail, food and beverage or oil and gas field and build a career to the stage of a Divisional Head, Supply Chain management. This career path seems realistic because of the career growth in this field and market trend of the importance of this function to most companies worldwide...

I applied and was offered a place at the University of XXX, but with no job and no financial help from anyone I was advised to apply for sponsorship at the university. I am both dedicated and motivated. I hope to build on this momentum as a student at the University of XXX. I'll be the first in my family to be educated to a master's degree level, and I do hope you'll make my dream come true by sponsoring my MSc Purchasing and Supply Chain Management here at the University of XXX.

Thank you in advance for considering my application and I look forward to hearing from the scholarship committee.

Yours sincerely,

does this look ok, is this roughly what a cover letter should look like?

i think it's a good cover letter - you have explained your background, current situation, personal characteristics and goals...

i see a smallll amount of changes that you may want to make though, every minor.. i hope you don't mind :)


Should this be two sentences, with a period after finance? also i think specialise is to be spelt specializ e



I think this sentence is a tad lengthy (just a tad :) )


I'm not sure if it is acceptable to end a formal letter with ellipses


I think "assistance" sounds nicer than "help" in this sentence :).. you don't have to change it though


i'm not so sure about the build on momentum part; perhaps you'd want to say "further exhibit these characteristics" or something along that line, it's up to you


two things: change i'll an you'll to I will and you will
and also you can say "facilitate my endeavor" instead of "make my dream come true"


Usually when i'm requesting sponsorship I end by saying i look forward to your positive response; because I mean, you don't just want to hear form them, you want them to say YES :)

very well done though, i hope you get the scholarship !

~All the best!

i hope i've helped in some way

...increasing the my chances of developing myself and my career.

I have a background in Accounting and Finance. Wi th the recession and congestion in the accounting ...

This is very good. I hope you have some room to add a paragraph about your intentions for the future. Do you have plans to accomplish some goals that are inspirational or beneficial to others/

You have already accomplished much as a guardian for the little siblings. I wish you lots of success.