"Born in Italy" - motivation letter ETH Master program

This is my first draft of a motivation letter. It is my first time writing one so any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

the motivation letter for ETH

This is what I have so far:

Dear Sir or Madam,

First of all, I would like to introduce myself, my name is [name] and I was born on [birthdate] in Italy. I am in my third year of studies towards a bachelor's degree in Computer Science at [University name] and plan to graduate in July 2021. My aim is to work in the field of artificial intelligence, more specifically in a research and development department with the intent of developing new technologies and algorithms capable of having an impact on the real world and improve the quality of life of people around me.

Through my undergraduate years at [University name], I was able to gain an extensive knowledge of computer science and a strong footing in mathematics, but artificial intelligence was by far the subject that fascinated me the most. This motivated me to delve deeper into this field and later on to choose it as my specialization. I strongly believe that artificial intelligence will be pivotal in solving the biggest challenges my generation will face and the Master of Science in Computer Science with a major in Machine Intelligence offered by ETH would allow me to fulfill my career goals, expanding my knowledge in an extremely challenging and competitive environment.

As the degree I am currently pursuing is not focused entirely on artificial intelligence, I jumped at every opportunity to gain experience and deepen my knowledge in this field: I did an internship at a company working in the Data Science field where I developed a system for fraud detection, and I am looking to do an internship later on this year on which my bachelor thesis will be based on, again in the artificial intelligence field.

However, sophisticated knowledge in this field is lacking at my current university and given that my goal is to work with state of the art algorithms and technologies in a research department, my natural choice was ETH Zurich: the high-quality education standards, the many research facilities, and the extremely distinguished faculty members I hope to work with are just some of the factors that motivated me to choose this university.

With my strong enthusiasm and academic background, I am confident to be qualified and able to maintain the high standards required at ETH Zurich, making a significant contribution to the program.

Thank you in advance for your consideration and time. I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully,
[My name]

Put a pin in this essay and use it as the basis of your personal statement, if one is required for your application, instead. The motivation letter for ETH needs to be highly specific in presentation. The university focuses on the development of future business leaders. So your motivation needs to focus on how you plan to develop a particular business interest through the use of ETH's personal competencies focused programs. Since you are allowed to create your own learning program, your motivation should represent how you will use the benefits of the open learning system they offer. Let me see if I can make this simpler for you. Consider the following for your revised motivation letter:

- What have you learned in your undergraduate course that has led to an interest in a specific masters course from the university. Be course specific and relate the continuing education focus.

- What future plans do you have for your career that will benefit from the exposure to top researchers from the university?

- Consider your personal strengths and and interests. What initiatives does ETH offer that motivates you to pursue personalized studies at the university?

- Are there any cross disciplinary competencies that further fueled your motivation to study at ETH? How did these inspire your choice?

- Show a clear motivation based on continuing education from your undergraduate to your masters course as a part of your motivating factor. Try to justify the comparative degrees factor in your discussion.

Remember that the university only accepts specific types of students who fit the mold of the ETH requirements for masters course studies. Your current motivation letter does not make you a qualified candidate at this point. Hopefully, my guide questions can help you create a more appropriate and relevant motivation letter.

Thank you so much for your feedback, I had a somewhat foggy notion of motivation letter and how it differs from a personal statement. I will try to write a new one following your suggestions.