Motivation Letter for Master's program in "Advanced Systems in Automation and Information Technology

Hello, Give me your opinion about my ML!!

It is a great honour for me to apply for the Master's program in "Advanced Systems in Automation and Information Technology" offered by ****** University. This program represents the logical next step in my academic and professional career, which reflects my ambitions and deep passion for innovation in the field of automation and information technology, and this drives my pursuit to learn and contribute to this vital field.

As a distinguished graduate of ****** University with a major in communications technology, I have an advanced background and valuable practical experience. Perhaps my most notable achievement is my research project on the electronic parks system, which received great acclaim and attention for the innovative technological solutions it provided to enhance the visitors' experience. I am confident that these experiences will contribute to enriching academic discussions and enhancing scientific research at your esteemed university.

My commitment to excellence is not limited to academic achievements but extends to my deep desire to make a positive impact on society. Therefore, I see your scholarship program as a valuable opportunity not only to develop myself but also to contribute to shaping a brighter future, and I am seriously committed to achieving success in it.

I very much look forward with enthusiasm to working under the guidance of leading experts at your university and using my unique insight and skills to add significant value to your program. There is no doubt that I am ready for the upcoming challenges, and I am committed to giving all my effort and determination to achieve success.

I very much look forward to serving the program as its ambassador in Romania and contributing effectively to achieving its goals and ambitions. I intend to be not only a student but an active partner in shaping a better-shared future.

I hope that I will be given the opportunity to demonstrate my abilities and realize my ambitions. I am confident that I will bring great value to your program, and I pledge to remain unbiased in my commitment. My true hope is to be able to contribute to making this world a better place.

thank you for considering my application. I am very much looking forward to the opportunity to join your university

Sincerely
Steve

Where is the motivation? Where is the professional drive? The personal development consideration? The academic pursuit? The letter is empty. It is going around in circles, without actually making a point. You have not provided any motivational information in the letter. It is nothing more than a constant repetition of why you want to receive the scholarship. You do not need to explain your academic background and achievements as this is not a personal statement. You cannot use this letter as a motivational letter. It does not meet the information requirements for one. You have to take note of the questions I posed above, respond to those, and then adjust the presentation to create a proper motivational letter.

@Holt
Thanks Sir, Your advice was very helpful, how about this:

To a new thread please.