I'm a high school student applying to university. I've never written a motivation letter before, so I'd really appreciate feedback on how to refine this answer, including grammar, clarity and whether the structure works.
The Erasmus University offers several different bachelor's programmes in business and economics. Why did you choose business administration? What specific aspects of the RSM IBA programme excite you the most? Tell us what got your excited about the subject and the programme! (900 character with punctuations)
I've always been fascinated that capable organisations with vast resources still make avoidable mistakes in high-stakes situations. During my x Bank risk management internship, I tried to understand why. I realised the issue often isn't ability but the system: weak controls and unclear ownership let errors repeat. I reconciled loss cases at x Bank and saw the same issues return whenever ownership was unclear, which convinced me that systems matter as much as people. That's why business administration attracts me: it focuses on how organisations set up ownership, controls and routines so errors don't keep happening. I'm also drawn to the lecture-plus-workshop format, because I learn best through discussion and feedback. I'm interested in the AI-related specialisation track and in learning how organisations can adopt AI responsibly while keeping people in the loop.
The Erasmus University offers several different bachelor's programmes in business and economics. Why did you choose business administration? What specific aspects of the RSM IBA programme excite you the most? Tell us what got your excited about the subject and the programme! (900 character with punctuations)
I've always been fascinated that capable organisations with vast resources still make avoidable mistakes in high-stakes situations. During my x Bank risk management internship, I tried to understand why. I realised the issue often isn't ability but the system: weak controls and unclear ownership let errors repeat. I reconciled loss cases at x Bank and saw the same issues return whenever ownership was unclear, which convinced me that systems matter as much as people. That's why business administration attracts me: it focuses on how organisations set up ownership, controls and routines so errors don't keep happening. I'm also drawn to the lecture-plus-workshop format, because I learn best through discussion and feedback. I'm interested in the AI-related specialisation track and in learning how organisations can adopt AI responsibly while keeping people in the loop.
