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Development Economics - Student Exchange Motivation Letter

alyssa2036 6 / 19 2  
Jan 18, 2022   #1
Hi! I really hope you guys can help me revise this motivation letter and provide inputs on how I can develop it. Thanks!

Motivation Letter (in English) Instruction: Please answer the following questions in your motivation letter: (1) Why are you interested to be a part of XXX 2022 delegate? (2) Why should we select you? Please briefly introduce yourself and mention any relevant skills and expertise, leadership experience, and/or achievements. (3) What are your plans and strategies if you are selected as a delegate from XXX to XXX 2022 ? Minimum 400 words, Maximum 550 words. Times New Roman Size 12, Single space. Please delete this instruction on your submission

Motivation Letter

Hi there! My name is XXX, and I'm an undergraduate student from XXX majoring in Development Economics. Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude towards the relevant party for providing this student exchange program as an excellent medium for self-development.

I am interested in becoming an XXX 2022 delegate because I believe this program could be a stepping stone in acquiring life-changing experiences. By having international exposure, I would not only be challenging myself in studying my field of interest, but moreover, I would also be able to build a global mindset that can help tackle relevant issues. This is necessary because, just like the saying that has been stuck with me, "the world is not in our heads, but out there". As such, that is what I'm craving to achieve through this program.

I believe I am fit for this opportunity because I am socially driven and people-oriented. Aside from that, I am also an individual who always seeks to learn new things. I find importance in those qualities because I strongly believe that great and positive impact comes from collaboration and continuous learning. I am also certain that those aspects will guide me through the XXX 2022 program as it did through my current organizations.

One of the most meaningful experiences I've been through would be creating an event for an organization called the XXX Association. That organization revolves around the 17 sustainable development goals. Although it was my first time organizing an event, I was grateful to be able to learn numerous things - which I can say was quite an apprehensive yet exciting experience. The things I have learned include knowing the current state of Indonesia for a specific SDG or even the process of media partnering - all of which I was able to accomplish while simultaneously doing a full-time job as a customer service representative for an international broker.

If I were to be honored with the opportunity of becoming an XXX 2022 delegate, I plan to dedicate my time to study revolving the sustainable development goals (most specifically through the economic perspectives) and explore the designated country in terms of its' sustainable program. Through this, I would be able to learn how different countries find a balance between social welfare and economic welfare.

I also plan to apply the knowledge I have gained through endless mediums provided by XXX 2022 to my current and future organizations. By doing so, I would be able to develop my personal qualities together with the qualities of my environment. Such knowledge can be gathered by simply paying attention to the work ethics of international students, or even participating in the events held by the university. Aside from that, I would also like to build ideas in hopes of contributing to the Indonesian economy based on the topics I have learned abroad.

All in all, I am certain that XXX 2022 is the perfect opportunity to achieve my long-term goals. If I were to be given the chance to demonstrate my eagerness to achieve greater self and organizational development for the greater good, I will not take it for granted. Once again, thank you for your time and consideration.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,696 4118  
Jan 18, 2022   #2
You cannot expect me to give relevant and useful advice based on a prompt that does not inform me about the name of the program ( at the very least). You have to understand, exchange programs have different requirements for their applicants. It will be difficult to direct your essay towards an applicable improvement if I am not clued in on what the program is. The prompt is only the start of the essay writing process. Since you are not sharing the name of the program here, please do not expect me to perform magic and help you in a manner that will allow you become a strong candidate for the program.

What I can say is this, based on the requirements of relevant skills and expertise, leadership experience, and/or achievements, I do not see you qualifying for this program. You have only participation to speak of and you did not refer to any leadership position in the narration of that event. Since I do not know the program name, I cannot really say that you have any relevant skills and expertise to speak of. The presentation is mostly friendly, lacking in relevant content. You do not really answer the prompt until the last few paragraphs, which tells me that you are trying to smokescreen your lack of qualifications. Something the reviewer will see immediately due to the emptiness of your earlier paragraphs.

Again, I do not know what program you are applying to so all I can give you is a general observation of your work. The comments are based on the general prompt requirements and nothing more. I cannot help you beyond this without knowing what program you are aiming for.
OP alyssa2036 6 / 19 2  
Jan 18, 2022   #3
Thank you for your feedback. I deeply apologize for the lack of information on my part. This letter would be a submission for the Indonesian International Student Mobility Awards (IISMA).
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,696 4118  
Jan 18, 2022   #4
The reason why you wish to become a participant in the program is not convincing. The reason used is personal rather than nationalistic in reference. The participation must relate to your passion or interest in helping your country. Focus on a diplomatic reason for your participation so that you can relay a relevant reason for wanting to participate in the program.

When considering the basis for considering you for the program, you cannot use generalized references as you are doing now. This aspect of your application is actually empty, devoid of true character driven responses in relation to the program objectives. You have personally good traits, but none that heighten your qualifications as a developing leader in your country. Participation is different from leadership. Participation does not equate to awards or recognition. The reference to an accomplishment is flimsy and questionable at best since you failed to represent how you led the group, in what capacity and the outcome of your leadership.

Like I said, you are trying to smokescreen the application essay. There is no strong and convincing factor that would indicate an applicable motivation and qualifications for the program. You will need to write a new essay. One that is honest and truly responds directly to the questions being asked. No vague references, no implied information. The essay requires direct and honest representations. There is a slight plan, but no strategy represented that applies to a specific SDG goal.

The SDG goal that you wish to help achieve must be the basis for this essay. That means, You have to base your new version on the SDG goal(s) you wish to pursue. Once you know what that is, you will be able to honestly respond to the 3 questions as these relate to your chosen SDG programs.

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