'my economic and quantitative profile' - Motivation letter for Master of Economics

Hi!
Can anybody help me with my motivation letter? I'm applying for a Master of Science in Economics in a University in Germany. If you can please check the content as well as the grammar you would do me a big favour!

The request is the following:
Please provide a statement explaining your current goals, career plans and reasons for being interested in the Master program in Economics in Mannheim. Discuss your study plans and your fields of interest. Your statement should be in English and not exceed 500 words.

Even though they do not mention to be interested on my previous experiences, I have written something about that because I have never seen a motivation letter without that part.. what do you think??

Thanks in advance for any help!!!
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Dear sir or Madame,

I am writing to apply for entrance in the Master of Science in Economics at xx university,
starting in the winter of 2012. I am an undergraduate student in the Department of Economics of the University of Bologna - Alma Mater Studiorum, from where I am expected to graduate in July 2011. I wish to continue my studies and pursue a Master's degree in Economics.

My aim is to work as economic analyst in an international field. In fact I am passionate about economics and international economics is most challenging to me. Therefore, I would like to gain a deeper theoretical knowledge and practical skills to evaluate the market. My core interest lies in labor markets, industrial organization and growth theories. Since I began to study economics, I have realized that economics represents for me a powerful tool to better understand the connection between markets and to investigate the reasons why some economies are thriving whereas others are in recession. I believe these topics are more relevant than ever, given the current economic trend triggered by the financial crisis. I am strongly convinced that further education at xx university would satisfy me and give me the needed knowledge. I am really interested in this Master because it provides several quality courses and seminars on these matters, together with a motivating and challenging environment.

During six summers spent working as beach attendant and five months as steward in a fair I developed my social skills and learnt how to interact with customers. The semester that I studied in Cracow, through the Erasmus Exchange Programme and afterwards being on the Board of "Erasmus Student Network" in Rimini, refined my capacity of integration and communication skills in a multicultural environment. Alongside my academic background, I had the opportunity to join a course of memory strategies held by a man considered to have one the best memory in the world. This helped me to further improve my learning methods and to optimize the study time.

I am confident that my economic and quantitative profile as well as some analytical tools that I acquired during a three months internship as assistant of a chartered accountant will be important assets for my realization in this field. Moreover, appropriate study environment in Mannheim and influence of German economy will also be very positive for my study.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

I am writing to apply for entrance in the Master of Science in Economics at xx university,
starting in the winter of 2012. I am an undergraduate student in the Department of Economics of the University of Bologna - Alma Mater Studiorum, from where I am expected to graduate in July 2011. I wish to continue my studies and pursue a Master's degree in Economics.

My aim is to work as an economic analyst in an international economic field. In fact, I am passionate about economics and global economy, which are most challenging to me. Therefore, I would like to gain a deeper theoretical knowledge and practical skills to evaluate the market. My core interest lies in labor markets, industrial organization and growth theories. Since I began to study economics, I have realized that this field represents for me a powerful tool to better understand the connection between markets and to investigate the reasons why some economies are thriving whereas others are in recession. I believe that these issues are more relevant than ever, given the current economic trend triggered by the financial crisis. I am strongly convinced that further professional education at xx university would enable me to reach my goals and give me the needed knowledge. I am really interested in this Master program because it provides several quality courses and outstanding seminars on these matters, together with a motivating and challenging environment.

During the last six summers spent working as beach attendant and five months as steward in a fair I developed my social skills and learned how to deal in unfamiliar situations interact with customers. The semester that I studied in Cracow, through the Erasmus Exchange Programme and afterwards being on the Board of "Erasmus Student Network" in Rimini, refined my capacity of integration and communication skills in a multicultural environment. Alongside my academic background, I had the opportunity to join a course of memory strategies held by a man considered to have one the best memory in the world. This helped me to improve further my learning methods and to optimize the study time.

I am confident that my economic and quantitative profile as well as some analytical tools that I acquired during a three months internship as assistant of a chartered accountant will be important assets for my realization in this field. Moreover, appropriate study environment in Mannheim and influence of German economy will also be very positive for my study.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

do not take my corrections wrong way!!! i did what i can. i think u had better pay deep attention to requirement. this very important.