Hi Guys, can you help me to fix this email, please
ASTM, ASE, Knovel library subscription
My Name is XXXXX XXXX and I am Metallurgist in Failure analysis lab. our lab needs some subscription from some website including ASTM, ASE, Knovel library. I was wondering if you can help me to get access to this website or address me how can I get a subscription from this website for our lab.
Thank you again for All your Help.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 10,301 3344
Ashkan, your letter is as effective as a child asking for an allowance increase from his parents for no apparent reason. You don't give a reason for the subscription to the websites. If you want to convince your manager that the university library should subscribe to these websites, you need to justify its necessity. The justification must come not only from your need to have access to these sites, but also, why the whole department should consider the subscription a helpful tool in its research, data collection, and data analysis pursuits. It is only after justifying the need for the subscription to each website that you can ask your manager to inform you as to what the proper procedure for gaining approval for these subscriptions might be. Consider that the department already has existing subscriptions to other related sites, why should they add these to the expensive roster of subscriptions? Consider that the full budget for subscription payments may have already been spent for this year, would you be amenable to the library subscribing next year instead? If no, then present evidence of the reasons why the subscription cannot be put off, for the whole department, not just yourself. This letter just be a justification letter along with it being a letter of request. Combine the two objectives in one letter and you will have a very strong letter of request.
You must write it in a formal way, if you dont, they would consider your letter as another one with no importance. Try to fix that and to seem more confident and interested in what you are asking for
Your letter looks very informal.
Hi Dear XXXX : start the salutation as "Dear".
2.)Describe the purpose in a formal way. Ex: I am writing this ......
3.)Provide the supporting details (better to write a separate paragraph)
Thank you again for All your Help.: this sentence is too informal and not matching with the context. instead, you can write something like "I am looking forward to hearing from you."
5.)Remember to end the letter in a formal way; Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully