The email for professor about my grade

Question about Grade

Dear Ms. Kinnie,

Hope you are staying safe and healthy.I am a freshman student in T03 of B200F. Merry Christmas in advance.

I fell really blame,because my presentation is not good enough-the show time is so long. I know this presentation accounted for 18 points.Is there any other way to improve my grade? May i have more suggestions with this presentation? After all, I don't want GPA to affect my master application.

Looking forward to your answer.
Thanks again and hope you have a nice day~

Sincerely,
Jennifer

Is this an actual letter you plan to send to your professor? Or is this for a Task 1 practice task? Either way, the presentation is not effective and full of grammar problems. You lack clarity in your presentation overall. Each paragraph becomes more confusing than the next.

In the first paragraph, you should be presenting information about yourself that will make you identifiable to the professor. You cannot use just the class code because the professor could be teaching several of the same class code at different hours. So the time and schedule of your class needs to be indicated in the first paragraph. That way the professor will have a reference point to start with when looking for your file in her database.

What were the circumstances that led you to fail in the presentation? You need to be specific about the shortcomings you had because you are asking the professor to give you a second chance at submitting the presentation. If you can explain and use convincing information regarding your reasons for failing, then maybe the case can be considered for an appeal. Otherwise, I really do not really see any information that would convince the professor to give you another shot at the task.