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T1- You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn about a major

jonal9598 1 / 1  
Aug 9, 2020   #1
You have a Facebook friend living in another country and s/he is curious to learn about a major news item in your country.

Write a letter to your Facebook friend.

In your letter

describe a news story in your country
explain why people are interested in it
say how the story personally relates to you
You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows:
Dear ...,

Dear Alan,

I hope you're doing great and having a superb summer! Just writing to brief you on the recent AirIndia flight that had crash-landed at Delhi Airport, the news about which you asked me the other day.

Let me fill you in on what had happened. On the 1st of August, late evening, weather at the Delhi Airport was unexpectedly stormy, and it had been raining for the past one day. Air India Flight A401, which was scheduled to arrive at 7:00 pm, underwent normal arrival clearance, but, when the pilot of the aircraft tried to touchdown the plane, he lost control of the aircraft. Soon after that, the plane caught fire! And it went off the track only to be covered in fire gusts. Thank god! only a few passengers suffered major injuries.

This news caught a lot of media attention, and there's been huge outrage among people asking why was the plane allowed to land in such horrible weather? And the main concern which lies among people is that this incident has raised a huge question on the Delhi Airport Safety, Delhi being the major tourist destination.

I've been in a not so similar scenario when the plane that I was flying on had its one of tires burst during landing at Delhi Airport. The new incident was reminder of the scary incident that I went through.

Just hope that this helps answer your curiosity.
DoctorWho - / 46 29  
Aug 9, 2020   #2
It's a well written essay. I have a few suggestions, that I feel will make it better.
1) Considering that this is a writing assignment, always try to be formal. While we may seldom speak this formally in real life, that is what most questions demand to assess your language skills. Example -You usage of superb, Thank God!, etc

2) This question asks you to describe a news worthy event and I must say you picked a good subject and how you related to it with your own personal experience. While making sure to not exceed the word limit, always try to be as vivid and descriptive as you can while describing a story such as this. You can easily flaunt a good vocabulary set by doing so. I also think that it would be better to describe your own ordeal in more sentences and not simply saying that a similar thing happened to me. Describe everything!

I am going to do a quick correction and add my inputs along the way.
OP jonal9598 1 / 1  
Aug 9, 2020   #3
Thank you so much for your feedback! I believe it is informal letter thus I used such language.
What do your think might be the band score? just a casual..

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