Lucena, Córdoba
10th November 2015
Town Planning Department
Town Hall
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to complain about the conditions of my street (Benamejí). It has not been repaired for years and all the neighbours are disappointed with this situation.
First of all, some years ago, all the streets around the block were fixed and their conditions improved. My street, which was getting worse by the constructions, did not get any improvement.
To make matters worse, during these years, most of the streets around mine have been closed and the vehicles have been crossing by my street. This has damaged even more the conditions of the street and the wheels of the vehicles. In addition, by the conditions, it is really annoying hearing the sound of the vehicles.
I strongly urge you to reconsider the idea of fixing my street. I trust you will deal with this issue and I look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully,
Juan García.
Juan, there are number of important points that are missing from your letter which have caused it to not be as effective as it should be. A formal complaint letter requires you to present certain information and request certain actions in order to catch the interest of the Town Hall PLanning Department. That said, the inclusion of the following information will help to further create an interest in your letter as it will properly represent the problem of your street already.
You need to present the following in the letter:
1. Describe the actual condition of your street. It cannot just be described as "unrepaired for years". If possible, mention that you attached a picture of the street problem in order to illustrate your point.
2. Neghbors who are "disappointed" with the situation should have some actual complaints regarding the way the street problem affects their daily lives. Be very specific if possible by explaining how the street problem causes certain inconveniences such as difficulty getting out of your residence to go to work, accidents caused by the unrepaired roads, and possible future problems it can create.
3. When you speak of the effect that the road closures have on your street, such as the noise that the surrounding road repairs make, the additional damage it causes, and the way other vehicles have been passing in your street, always keep a formal tone. While I sense your annoyance in the paragraph, it comes across more as whining than complaining.
4. Be more specific about the course of action that you wish the Town Hall to take regarding the issue. If you want them to repair the roads, then demand that they do so. Do not request that they reconsider the idea of fixing your street since, from your explanation, they have not made a move to repair it in years.
The letter that you wrote has the potential to be a serious call to action Juan. The only thing that you missed while writing it is proper idea development. I have offered you some ideas as to how to do that. As far as grammar issues are concerned, those do exist in your letter. However, because there is a requirement to improve the content of your letter, I refrained from correcting those. Why have you revise your grammar twice when I can just have you do it after you revise the letter and have you do it once instead right? Good work on the letter in its current form just the same :-)
Juan, let me give you a direct remark in writing a letter.
Lucena, Córdoba
10th November 2015
November 10,2015
Lucena Cordoba
Town Planning Department
Town Hall ( it will help if you can put the address of the town hall )
Dear Sir or/ Madam,
I am writing to file a complain about the conditions of my street in (name of street ) (Benamejí).
It has not been repaired for years and all the neighbours are disappointed with this situation.
First of all, someFew years ago, all the streets around the block were fixed and their conditions improved.
My street, which was getting worse bywith the constructions, did not get any improvement at all .
To make matters worse, during these years, most of the streets around mineours ( you are speaking on behalf of the neighborhood ) have been closed and the vehicles have been crossing by myour street.
This has damaged even more the conditions of the street even more and the wheels of the vehicles.
In addition, by theto this conditions, it is really annoying to hearing the sound of the vehicles.
I strongly urge you to reconsider the idea of fixing myour street.
I trustam confident that you will dealtake action with this issue and I look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfullyBest regards ("your's faithfully", is written to someone you love ) ,
Juan García.
There you have it Juan, keep this as a formal guide in writing letters for your future reference. The errors on your sentences lies mainly in your grammar and the lack of linking verb usage that would complete the sentences.
