i have to submit my letter of explanation( study plan) in few days and i am not familiar with the structure, i tried to write something from my own but am not confident enough, ill attach a copy of my letter. if possible could you give any feedback on how i should fix the essay and structure it so it does not look chaotic?
Thanks in advance.
here is the letter
My name is Mohsen Amiri, I am 23 years old and have been admitted to a Post Bachelors Diploma of global supply chain management at Douglas College. I obtained a bachelors degree in civil engineering from Girne American University of North Cyprus. Upon completion of an internship program during my last semester of studies I came to realization that I do not enjoy civil engineering and don't see myself continuing in this path, so when I graduated I started working in a supply chain field.
Canada is one of the leading countries when it comes to supply chain and gaining educational degree there would help me immensely. My ending goal is to broaden my knowledge and obtain a degree from a high quality institution where it is internationally accepted. In contrast, Degrees obtained from Kuwait or Iran are not internationally accepted and offers low quality of education when compared to Canada. In addition, Neither my country of residence nor my country of citizenship has Colleges/Universities that offer Post Bachelors degrees in global supply chain management.
The job prospects in this sector is in a very high demand in middle east, specially Kuwait. In Kuwait, having a degree from any Post-secondary education will not guarantee you a job as it is highly competitive, but obtaining a degree from a Country such as Canada which is known for their excellent quality of education is highly acknowledged and it will provide me with an extra edge over the competition.
My family and I are all Permanent residence of Kuwait, My father runs a textile business and my mother takes care of my younger brothers. being born and living here all of my life, I consider this equally as my home country, as I stated before I work at a supply chain field in a company known as "Environmental World" but having no degree in Supply chain/business, makes it extremely difficult to climb up the ranks. Hence, upon completion of my studies i would like to go back to Kuwait and continue working without having any barriers.
In order to avoid struggling in a different country, my father decided to sponsor me ( i have attached a sponsorship letter). My father's personal bank account balance is roughly around 52,000 CAD. This is enough to pay for the entire program and cover my living expenses, so I can solely focus on my education without worrying about an income. In addition, and if needed, I would be provided with extra fund from his business bank account (which is also attached).
I'm grateful for your time and would gladly provide any clarifications needed
Holt Educational Consultant - / 13,889 4564
The main problem that your study plan has is that it relates to a change of career path on your end. You started as a Civil Engineer and now, you want to become a supply chain professional. There must be a representation of the reasons for the career change, how you are working in that section now, and what your future will be after you complete the course and return to your home country. The study plan has to represent how and why these studies are important to your career. There isn't really a justification presented, only reasons why the universities in Kuwait cannot fulfill your perceived educational needs. These explanations are not acceptable as a part of a study plan presentation. Rather, you have to explain how you will immediately apply what you have learned upon your return. Does completing the studies mean working for your father's company? What is the plan? What will your focus be in terms of supply chain management? Why will you focus on that? There are several questions that you need to represent responses to in your letter. However, without the prompt for the study plan, I cannot really explain how to integrate the responses into the required information.