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A formal letter I want to write to a notebook provider


luongk3n 1 / -  
Aug 14, 2015   #1
<I just want to convert my thoughts into formal sentences. Please help me. I'd be very thankful if you could rewrite my entire letter. Thank you so much indeed>

Dear Sir

I purchased successfully a notebook from your own shop three days ago. The machine had worked very well until yesterday evening. I brought it inside my backpack and cycled about 20 minutes home. After getting back home I putted it on the table then powered it on but it won't boot any more, just black screen and no leds were lighted. I have checked the power supply and it worked fine. Everything outside the notebook don't look unusual or damaged at all.

Please tell me what should I do. Could I be able to return it back and get another the same one?

I would be very grateful for any helps you are able to provide.

Best regards

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 15, 2015   #2
Yes, I can help! First, do not write 'Dear Sir' because it's better to give his real name if you know it. But if you do not know the name, you can use:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

Okay, here it is:

Dear Sir

I purchased successfully a notebook from your own shop three days ago. The machine had worked very well until yesterday evening.

I brought it inside my backpack and cycled about 20 minutes home. -- Do not include this sentence. It makes the reader think maybe you broke the laptop when biking around with it, lol.

After getting back home I putted it

I put it on the table then and powered it on but it won't boot any more. There is just a black screen and ...

Everything outside the notebook don't look looks normal and does not seem damaged at all.

Please tell me what should I do. -- good sentence!

Could I be able to return it back and get another computer of the same type?

I would be very grateful for any helps help you are able to provide.
shiravin 1 / 1  
Aug 16, 2015   #3
I purchased

Hi, I am not sure purpose of this letter, if IELTS you need to start with Sir / Madam. Rest of the paragraph as Kevin said.

Dear Sir / Madam

[...]

I would be very grateful for any helps you are able to provide. - Ask Strongly and say what you will do if it is not replace

I would be very grateful if you could replace the notebook in one week, if not I insist on getting a refund of my full payment.

Best regards is a casual way of finishing, formal letter you have to finish with - Yours sincerely,
justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Aug 30, 2015   #4
- Dear Sir/Ma'am

- I successfully purchased successfully a notebook..
- ..from your own shop three days ago.
- After gettingheading back home...
- ...I puttedplaced it on the table..
- ...thenpoweredturned it..
- ...and no ledsLED light indicators were onwere lighted .
- Everything outside the notebook don'tdoesn't look unusual or damaged at all.

- Please telllet me know what should I should do.
- Could I be able to return it back and get another the same onea replacement ?

I would be very grateful for any helps you are able to provide.Your help is much appreciated however I would also consider a refund.

This is somewhat unfortunate and I hope you'll be able to get a replacement or better yet, a full refund.


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