Personal information, interests, etc. - Resume and cover letter

Hi,
My tutor ask us to write a resume and cover letter, my resume is following, hope that someone can help me to correct mistakes or comments are welcomed,

Thanks,

PERSONAL INFORMATION
Full Name: Ha Le
Address: xxxx N Avenue
Hall xx, block xx, level xx - 10xx
Singapore xxxxxx
Phone: 8 22 xx xxx (mobile)

OBJECTIVE
- To obtain an internship in an investment firm where I can use my previous experience and skills.
- To gain greater experience and knowledge, especially in the area of Financial Services.
- To develop my personal skills.

EDUCATION
Bachelor of Arts, Economics, 2006 - Present
xxxx University

High school graduation certificate, 2003 - 2006
(equivalent to GCE "A" level)
Hanoi-Amsterdam Gifted High School
Graduation Grade Point Average: 9.1/10.00

Secondary school graduation certificate, 1999 - 2003
(equivalent to GCE "O" level)
Giang Vo Secondary School

COMPUTER AND LANGUAGE SKILLS
- Proficient in spreadsheet and database software, including Excel, Lotus and Access.
- Fluent speaking and writing in English, basic Mandarin and basic French.

OTHER RELEVANT SKILLS
- Excellent customer service skills developed in a variety of retail settings.
- Ability to communicate effectively both over the phone and in person.
- Strong research skills developed through work experience and course work.
- Experience working on team projects both at work and in courses.
- Be able to work in high pressure situations, both independently and with fellow team-mates.

WORK EXPERIENCE
Team leader of social work, "Mua He Xanh" ("The Green Summer") voluntary campaign, Hanoi, 2004 - 2005. ("The Green Summer" is an annual voluntary drive where Vietnamese youths help the community with a variety of voluntary works such as cleaning city streets, sharing with the municipal police in stabilising city traffic order, teaching literacy to rural people and providing medical care for the poor and the disabled).

- Made plans, assigned work to members.
- Managed the activities and people, worked with my members.
- Evaluated the result of members and summarized campaign.
- Persuaded businesses and organizations to fund schemes for the poor and the disabled.

INTERESTS Reading economics and business magazines, Traveling

AVAILABLE Immediately

REFERENCE Available on request

Greetings!

You've got a very fine resume! The only suggestion I would make is to make some of your entries a little more specific, particularly under "Objectives."

"To obtain an internship in an investment firm where I can use my previous experience and skills." - which skills, specifically? Everyone claims to have "skills" but what an employer wants to know is, "what skills do you have that will benefit my company?"

"To gain greater experience and knowledge, especially in the area of Financial Services." - While this is admirable, an employer is all about "what can you do for me?" Gaining greater knowledge is only a plus if it benefits the employer, so you might word this somewhat differently, stressing how your greater knowledge of Financial Services will be of use to them.

"To develop my personal skills." - This is very vague; what personal skills? how does this help an employer?

You might also try to make your Work Experience a little more specific. "Made plans, assigned work to members" is pretty general.

Other than using language which targets specific skills an employer will be looking for, I think you are in good shape here!

Best of luck!

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Thanks Ms Sarah, I will revise mine ...
And following is our cover letter, we choose her resume to work on the cover letter, can you take a look ours and correct mistakes if any ? thanks a lot...

Jamie Chen Siya
Block xxxx Way
xxxx
Singapore xxx

14 February 2007

NCSS Volunteer Circle
National Council of Social Service
xxGhim Moh Road
xxx NCSS Centre
Singapore xxxxx

Dear Sir/Madam,

Application for publications writer position as a volunteer

I am writing to you to volunteer my skills as writer in your organization's marketing
and publications team. I became aware of NCSS's volunteer recruitment efforts through my lecturer at xxxx University, who motivated my peers and I to commit to a year-long volunteering stint at a non-profit organisation.

As a Sociology undergrad, I have a deep interest in the workings of the social service sector in Singapore. I hope to better understand the role and contributions of non-profit agencies in helping keep communities together. It is also my personal-development goal to become a more socially-conscious and compassionate citizen. I believe volunteering will help me achieve this.

Prior to entering university, I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in mass communication, where I specialised in journalism. In my final year of study, I was the senior editor and designer of Medialogues, a collection of research papers from the Singapore Youth & Media Conference 2005. In 2004, I completed an internship at TODAY newspaper. I continue to write for the paper on a free-lance basis.

By contributing my writing skills, creativity and enthusiasm, I believe I can make a difference in the lives of others at NCSS. I will be available next Monday to Friday (26/2/07 - 2/3/2007) for an interview. I hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,

Jamie Chen Siya

Hi Sarah, I somehow confuse your comments under my Objective???

"To obtain an internship in an investment firm where I can use my previous experience and skills."
You said that i should specify which skills, right? But I think I wrote and explained all my skills i the following paragraphs in my resume, so do I still need to mention them immediately in the Objective?

Otherwise, can you explain more clearly your recommendations?

"To gain greater experience and knowledge, especially in the area of Financial Services."
I think because actually I apply for an internship so I don't need to focus much on the firm's benefit while accepting me, because the purpose of internship is almost to practice students' knowledge, am I correct? And I am actually year 1 student so they also can know that I am quite unuseful :p to them, sorry if i misunderstand your view...

"To develop my personal skills.", thank you, I agree that this is vague, so may I change to :
"To develop my interpersonal communication and working skill in an active business environment."

Hope for your help and don't forget to take a look my above cover letter, which is chosen from 1 of our resume to write.

Thanks and best regards,

Greetings!

I'll be happy to address both the cover letter and resume questions for you. I think the cover letter is excellent! The only question I have is regarding the "Application for publications writer position as a volunteer" sentence at the beginning. It sounds like the sort of thing that would go in a "Re: ..." line, which should come before "Dear Sir/Madam." In other words, below the address would be "Re: Application for publications writer position as a volunteer."

Now, for the resume:

While you're correct that you are more specific about your skills in the body of your resume, my thinking was that the "Objective" is the first thing to grab the reader's attention, and you want to make as much of an impact as you can. I didn't fully realize that this was just an internship, so yes, you're right about not needing to focus so much on the firm's benefit. I would suggest reducing your Objective to one sentence, something like this:

"To obtain an internship in an investment firm utilising my business and economics background to expand my knowledge and experience in the area of Financial Services."

I like your revision of "To develop my interpersonal communication and working skill in an active business environment."

Excellent work, and best of luck to you!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

Thank you a lot, Ms Sarah
Best regards for you
Ha