Hey guys! Awesome forum!
I am applying for a Bachelor in Economics/business Bachelor of science.
I need to write a letter with 400 words MAX, answering the following questions :
" Why did you choose to study this specific programme? Why did you choose to study abroad? Why did you choose to study at the University of X ? Do you have any ideas about your future career path?
We are looking for students with excellent quantitative (mathematical and statistical) skills. You are suited for this programme if you would like to bring an international dimension into your life and have the ambition to pursue an international career. "
Here is my letter, and I was hoping to get some help concerning grammar, but more importantly, what do you think of the overall letter ?
Do you think this is enough for me in order to be admitted ?
What would you remove (or add) in this letter ?
Thank you guys very very much!
Here is the letter:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
My name is X. I am X years old.
I was born in France, but at a young age, my family and me moved to Mexico.
I graduated from a French High School in Mexico City in Scientific series (minor in Physics).
This specific series has a higher level of mathematics and physics.
I learned from my father who is an engineer and businessman in a Mexican-based oil company,
how to apply economic analysis to the evaluation of engineering challenges in the petroleum industry. He showed me real examples and case studies demonstrating the economic performance in organizations, and I found it really interesting.
Thus, a strong interest in economics and business grew in me, to the point where I decided to make it my future career, and so I would like to apply for admission into your program, and eventually do a Master's degree in Business Economics (Organization Economics path).
Afterwards, I would like to return to Mexico and work in the petroleum industry. Recent legislation in Mexico requires the oil industry to employ professionals with an international career, knowing how to handle multicultural business relations.
Outside the academic context, I am keen on learning about cultures and interacting with foreign people, because of the fact that since I was a child, I've been moving to new cities due to my dad's work.
Studying abroad has helped me to adapt quickly to situations, while understanding cultures and people, in order to interact with them in a positive manner.
Last year, I decided to spend one year in Los Angeles, CA, in order to perfect my English skills. I made great friendships with many local people, which enriched my cultural understanding and broadened my horizons.
I also spent 4 months in InHolland University in Haarlem.
However, that university was not suitable in my view as it did not feel like a challenge, and I wasn't progressing the way I should've been. Many students in their last year were having legal troubles with the university, unable to graduate. I was therefore demotivated very fast.
Dutch culture is very welcoming, I truly enjoyed my stay in Holland, and I wish to come back as soon as possible. The University of X has a strong international program, which I really like. Moreover, it is one of the best universities in Europe.
The reason why I feel I can be a part of the University of X is due to the fact that I think of studying there as a challenge, where I can prove to myself that through hard work and motivation, great things can be achieved. Moreover, I would like to be part of the strong international student community there, where I feel I can genuinely contribute.
I am applying for a Bachelor in Economics/business Bachelor of science.
I need to write a letter with 400 words MAX, answering the following questions :
" Why did you choose to study this specific programme? Why did you choose to study abroad? Why did you choose to study at the University of X ? Do you have any ideas about your future career path?
We are looking for students with excellent quantitative (mathematical and statistical) skills. You are suited for this programme if you would like to bring an international dimension into your life and have the ambition to pursue an international career. "
Here is my letter, and I was hoping to get some help concerning grammar, but more importantly, what do you think of the overall letter ?
Do you think this is enough for me in order to be admitted ?
What would you remove (or add) in this letter ?
Thank you guys very very much!
Here is the letter:
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
My name is X. I am X years old.
I was born in France, but at a young age, my family and me moved to Mexico.
I graduated from a French High School in Mexico City in Scientific series (minor in Physics).
This specific series has a higher level of mathematics and physics.
I learned from my father who is an engineer and businessman in a Mexican-based oil company,
how to apply economic analysis to the evaluation of engineering challenges in the petroleum industry. He showed me real examples and case studies demonstrating the economic performance in organizations, and I found it really interesting.
Thus, a strong interest in economics and business grew in me, to the point where I decided to make it my future career, and so I would like to apply for admission into your program, and eventually do a Master's degree in Business Economics (Organization Economics path).
Afterwards, I would like to return to Mexico and work in the petroleum industry. Recent legislation in Mexico requires the oil industry to employ professionals with an international career, knowing how to handle multicultural business relations.
Outside the academic context, I am keen on learning about cultures and interacting with foreign people, because of the fact that since I was a child, I've been moving to new cities due to my dad's work.
Studying abroad has helped me to adapt quickly to situations, while understanding cultures and people, in order to interact with them in a positive manner.
Last year, I decided to spend one year in Los Angeles, CA, in order to perfect my English skills. I made great friendships with many local people, which enriched my cultural understanding and broadened my horizons.
I also spent 4 months in InHolland University in Haarlem.
However, that university was not suitable in my view as it did not feel like a challenge, and I wasn't progressing the way I should've been. Many students in their last year were having legal troubles with the university, unable to graduate. I was therefore demotivated very fast.
Dutch culture is very welcoming, I truly enjoyed my stay in Holland, and I wish to come back as soon as possible. The University of X has a strong international program, which I really like. Moreover, it is one of the best universities in Europe.
The reason why I feel I can be a part of the University of X is due to the fact that I think of studying there as a challenge, where I can prove to myself that through hard work and motivation, great things can be achieved. Moreover, I would like to be part of the strong international student community there, where I feel I can genuinely contribute.
