I just finished my rough draft of motivation letter for a European business school(short as "VE"). However, the school of my choice did not indicate any instruction nor format for this letter on their website - but from their website I can get a clear structure of the vision of the program and expected quality from candidates (cems.org/about/mission). The length of this draft is ok, but I'm worried about coherence and logical structure; As a reader, did u get my motivation easily? Are those motivations strong enough? do I need to put it in a more subtle way or my straightforward?
I would be extremely grateful would someone agree to review it and offer his/her insights and advice.
Thank you so much!
Dear Sir or Madam,
As a twenty-three years old senior student, I believe in the power of the youth; while CEMS is precisely the platform empowering the future generation of business leaders. Striving for excellence, living diversity and demonstrating integrity are not only visions of CEMS, but also values I fostered through continuous self-reflection in my undergraduate study. Such facts impressed me tremendously, but what even more attractive is the tailor-made curriculum of the program, promising career opportunity and international network. Thus, I believe applying for M.Sc. in International Management awarded by University of Economics, Prague starting in Fall 2016 is undoubtedly beneficial for my personal development both from an academic and professional point of view.
University of Economics, Prague may not be my dream university initially, but I immediately fall in love with the university after my arrival as an exchange student, and then I applied for an extension. The courses are inspirational, I like professor's personal approach in teaching-I was encouraged to share my opinion of open questions, and my original ideas about China's trade policy gained recognition. This is where I believe that my insights as an international student from an emerging market economy like China would contribute positively to the student body of VE. After one semester of exchange, I can quickly blend into the local academic atmosphere: be well-prepared for the class, express my opinion confidently and cooperate with others to solve problems creatively with a global vision. My positive experiences here have resulted in my desire to stay in VE to continue my academic endeavors; furthermore, continuing my education here would allow me to make important business contacts, with the career goal as a consultant specializing in Sino-Europe enterprises.
Majoring in Accounting, with a wide learning on economics and management have laid a solid foundation for my graduate study. Moreover, due to three years of hard work, my overall GPA reached over 82%, especially on core courses like Statistics, Macroeconomics, Management Accounting and Economic Law. Besides academics, I was enthusiastic about extracurricular works and activities in order to improve myself in all dimensions. I worked for Volvo Group China as an Accounting Intern for seven months in my third year of study, making me curious about business knowledge beyond Accounting. Then, I spent my summer vacation in Dragon Rouge as a Brand Strategy Intern, developing my capacity and potential in other business fields. With the above professional experience, I was able to watch the workings of a major corporation up close and would like the opportunity to combine my experiences with the theoretical background available in the MIM program at VE, with its emphasis on internationalism, leadership and critical thinking.
Moreover, my volunteering experience as an assistant teacher in a Cambodia university made me decide that my future occupation needs to produce a positive impact on local community. Taking leadership opportunities in AIESEC inspired my entrepreneurship fundamentally; as a decision-maker, I learned how to balance the needs of different stakeholders, involving extensive work on communication, including crisis management, teamwork and multi-dimensional analyzing. At leisure, I have backpacked 27 countries in Asia and Europe since I was a freshmen. All these experiences have enriched my life and encouraged me to chase self-elevation and happiness all the time.
I kept good balance between work and life during the past three years and felt satisfied and passionate. I really appreciate those challenges and chances that make a better me. I truly hope that, by accepting my application, you will allow me to go further on the road of exploring business world with new and better tools.
Thank you for granting the time to review my application.
In all honesty, the motivation for your application is not clear at all. You have mentioned information that should be placed in a personal statement. which changed the premise of the essay in total. In order to better explain your motivation, you must first discover what your purpose is. Where do your interests lie? Why do think you need to take this more advanced course?
Think of it this way, your college education was the foundation that you lay for your interest in this field. After creating the foundation, you discovered that there was more to this career than you first thought. Your discovery has helped you realize that there is more to learn about the field and you need to pursue that knowledge because... It is the word because that represents your motivation. What word would follow the statement "I am motivated to pursue a higher degree because..." That is the motivation for your interest in higher studies and that is what you should reflect more of in this letter.
Yes, you need to find your main motivation for wishing to pursue higher studies. While having many motivations for your studies is a good thing, you need to be able to pinpoint the main reason why you wish to complete this degree. Think of it this way, when you plan a trip, you always have a destination in mind. Now, in order to reach that destination, you need to know how you plan to get there. By having a plan for travel and a destination mapped out, you know exactly what you have to do in order to accomplish your task. That is the same thing that you need to do and represent when you write your motivation letter.
Consider the program of study you wish to undertake. Think about how this knowledge can help you in the future and whom you hope to help by becoming a more competent participant in the field. Those should pretty much help you find your main motivation for your studies. After that, think of how the university you have chosen can help you achieve those goals. That will be the method by which you hope to attain your objective. Presenting those two solid plans should serve as the main points to be presented in your motivation letter.