Hello, I wrote this motivation letter to apply a master degree in France as well as a scholarship
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Please give me some feedback. Thank you so much.
Dear Committee Members,
Agriculture and forestry play an essential role in Vietnam's economy, and these sectors contribute about 36.5 billion US dollars in the income of Vietnam (2019). However, Vietnam lacks sustainable agriculture and a green economy. I was born in a poor village, where most people are farmers, and their children grew up in the field. Fourteen years lived in the agricultural village before moving to the metropolis; I witnessed the effect of solid waste from both agricultural residue and plastic products on the environment. My motivation is to focus on biomass sources and recycled plastic to turn them into sustainable and functional materials. This letter addresses my interest and motivation to pursue the Biorefinery and Biomaterials Course offered at the xxx, France.
During four years at the undergraduate level, I gained fundamental and in-depth knowledge about materials science, especially polymer and composite materials, through academic and practical applications. In my third year, I had a unique opportunity to take three months internship in the industry, where I had an overview of the professional workplace and sharpened my soft skills. However, this internship did not fulfil my interest and expectation for higher knowledge. I believe that enrolling in higher education is a better choice for improving both knowledge and research skills. I did not have a chance to work with biomaterials due to a lack of equipment at the laboratory. Therefore, I turned my research topic to recycled materials and kept my interest in biomaterials. I chose lightweight concrete and composite materials for the advanced seminar and graduation thesis in the final year, respectively. Both materials are based on industrial waste and recycled plastic bottles (PET) to create a solution for environmental pollution and apply as construction materials.
In 2020, I had an extraordinary opportunity to take six months internship in the A Laboratory (yyy, France) to work with insulation fibers broad without toxic adhesion. During the internship period, I have a chance to improve my knowledge about bio-based materials, corporate with doctoral students during lab-works. This traineeship is a golden chance for me to escape my comfort zone, earn survival skills and improve my confidence when I have moved to a new place. Additionally, I could find out more about the nature and attend exchange culture activities. After the internship, I am working in the B Laboratory (Vietnam), where I have a chance to participate in many projects about bio-based composite and biodegradable polymers.
I believe that studying at the xxx is a suitable option for me due to many reasons. First of all, biorefinery and biomaterials are my favorite topic; I would like to follow this topic in my career path. Secondly, the xxx is a prestigious university with Second ranking Engineering School in France. With a well-setup program as well as collaboration with world-ranking partners, I am able to expand my horizon. Furthermore, xxx is located in a beautiful place, and I expected that France would welcome me with the mountain of smiles, opportunities as well as new challenges. I fell in love with both nature and culture, but the most impressive thing is the support and love from French people gave me during the Covid-19 pandemic. Besides, I could contribute my knowledge and experiences to enrich the education and cultural backgrounds of this master course.
After finishing the master's course, I would like to follow the doctoral school xxx to enhance my knowledge continually and participate in the professional research environment. In the future, renewable energy and materials based on renewable resources will be one of the most important research topics in Vietnam. I want to gain more knowledge and experience in the biomaterials field to expand the application areas, especially in materials for conversion and storage energy based on biomass sources. Besides, I would like to encourage younger students to continue their higher studies, especially female students.
In inclusion, I believe that I am suitable for the Biorefinery and Biomaterials Course. This choice is the right step for me to go further in my career path and reach my goal.
Sincerely,
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 The first paragraph is confusing. Refocus the information to target your actual line of study. Do not confuse the paragraph with references to farming and your personal background. Bring attention to your professional motivation at once based on currently relevant details.
After the internship,
How does your current work influence your moliviation in terms of learning more about your field as it applies to future career plans?
my career path
What is the current path and where is it headed in the future ? Think of your increased motivation factors.
I would like to follow the doctoral school
Do not get ahead of yourself. This is only the motivational essay. It is not the statement of purpose yet. Remove this reference paragraph.
