Hi, this is my first time writing a motivation letter. I only wrote it after having all the ideas and brainstorm a full outline for the letter. Below is mine, please review on it and help me figure out what needs improving:
letter of motivation, sop
Dear Admissions Committee,
I am writing to express my strong motivation to pursue my studies abroad, particularly at your esteemed university, in the field of Environmental Economics. This decision has been shaped by a series of personal experiences and a deep passion for academic exploration.
Six years ago, my parents went through a divorce, which significantly impacted my life. Since then, I have faced numerous challenges and hurdles, but I believe it is not the hardships that define us, but rather how we overcome them. Last year, I found myself engaged in intense conflicts with both of my parents, leading me to contemplate the need for distance and personal growth.
During that period of self-reflection, I realized that studying abroad could provide the perfect opportunity for me to embark on a new adventure and distance myself from the family issues that had become overwhelming. However, as time went on, I discovered that my desire to study abroad was not solely driven by escaping my family situation. Instead, it became a symbol of personal growth, exploration, and taking risks to achieve a higher reward.
Despite the challenges I faced, I never lost my passion for academic excellence. Even in the midst of personal turmoil, I continued to devote myself to my studies, determined to excel academically. Through this experience, I learned the importance of perseverance and commitment to my goals.
As I healed and let go of the pain within me, I realized that studying abroad was more than just a means of escaping family issues. It became an opportunity for me to embrace new experiences, broaden my horizons, and take risks in pursuit of personal and academic growth.
Now, I find myself at a turning point, ready to embark on this adventure and ask myself where I truly want to go. Europe stood out as an ideal destination due to its diverse range of languages, many of which use the Latin alphabet that brings me joy in learning. Additionally, my love for Italian cuisine, especially pizza and spaghetti, has drawn me towards Italy as the perfect place to explore and study.
Having chosen the country, my focus now turns to the field of study and the university. With a bachelor's degree in international economics, I am confident that my academic achievements and GPA will open up a considerable range of choices for me. Throughout my undergraduate years, I actively participated in science research contests, built professional networks, and even had the opportunity to contribute to various conference papers. This research experience exposed me to a wide range of economic topics, and it was during this time that I developed a strong interest in Environmental Economics.
During my search for universities offering programs in Environmental Economics, I came across your esteemed institution. The reputation of your university, combined with the comprehensive curriculum and research opportunities in Environmental Economics, immediately caught my attention. I am confident that studying at your university will provide me with the necessary knowledge, skills, and research experience to make a meaningful contribution to the field of Environmental Economics.
In conclusion, I am highly motivated to pursue my studies abroad, specifically in Environmental Economics, and I am particularly interested in the opportunity to study at your university in Italy. I am eager to immerse myself in a new academic environment, engage in research endeavors, and collaborate with esteemed faculty members and fellow scholars.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to the possibility of joining your university and embarking on this transformative academic journey.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,430 4691
This is not a motivational letter nor a statement of purpose. You have written a personal statement that is more aligned with a college common app essay than anything else. You have mistakenly considered your personal situation a motivation, which may be so for you, but not for the academic institution that is looking for academic and professional reasons for your motivation. Your purpose is personal growth which, while it does apply to the extent that studying abroad and pursing a higher course would allow you personal growth, it does not offer an insight into your 5 year career plan, which is the purpose for your advanced studies. If you were to use this paper as an application essay, you would not make it past the first round.