Motivation letter for Stipendium Hungaricum - Technical Management (TM) or Electrical Engineering

Hi. I need to know if my letter is good. Thanks.
Instructions given: min. 1500, max. 4000 characters
Also, you can choose 2 different deegres - a primary option and a secondary

Motivation letter for Stipendium Hungaricum

Dear Madam or Sir,

my name is (name) and I would like to express my interest in studying at Hungary as a full degree student in the field of Technical Management (TM) or Electrical Engineering. Being part of the Stipendium Hungaricum Scholarship program would be a solid step towards my future career as a person who loves Management Science and Engineering.

In my second year of high school, I participated in a program called "Miniempresa" (Mini Company) offered by the non-profit organization Junior Achievement. In this program, students simulate a company in collaboration with volunteers of a real organization. I was elected Financial Director and since then my interest in management emerged. My long-term aspiration is to occupy a C-level position in a multinational company. In this sense, I think that Óbuda University being a historic, internationally recognized university of high-quality education will help me reach my goal. Furthermore, the offered TM course provides a holistic vision in the Management Science and the Corporate Strategy specialization can bring me closer to my objective.

Another interest of mine is Electrical Engineering. Its close relation to manufacturing processes, automation, and the possibility to manage high-tech machines and equipments can put me hither to a management role in an industry or corporation. In this regard I am sure that Budapest University of Technology and Economics can provide me a robust education to acquire in-depth knowledge and the required skills to succeed. In addition, the Embedded and Control Systems specialization is a step forward to my goal.

Studying in a foreign country is both a challenge and opportunity that I am prepared to experience because I believe that a powerful education, such as the Hungarian that produced brilliant people like Galamb József and Gábor Dénes, would not only empower my career development, but also give the framework to utilize my full potential and broaden my horizons. Furthermore, studying at an international university will provide an opportunity that local universities cannot offer me: the chance to meet people all over the world which would help me to improve my skills and interpersonal talents of teamwork, leadership, and responsibility, essential qualities for a good professional. I am confident that my experience in Budapest would be extremely exciting, fun, and valuable not only for my studies but also for my personal development.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to a favorable reply.

Yours faithfully,
(name)

As this is a motivational letter, you have to present 2 solid areas of interest or motivation for the courses you have chosen. It is not enough to hvae a primary and secondary course choice in the presentation, when you have given any solid reasons for your interest in either course. Having a high school participation in one, without any additional supporting information, is not enough. Why do you want to have a C-Level position in a multinational company? What has motivated this aspiration? There is a lack of supporting explanation for this choice. The same problem exists for your secondary choice. There is no information that shows a true ambition, desire to succeed, and reason for the choice presented. The final paragraph is good, but the justifications for your choices are not. Focus more on the motivation before you focus on the reason you want to study in Hungary. That should be secondary in consideration or. integrated directly into the course discussion, based on separate reasons as it applies to your course of choice.