This is the essay I've been working on. The limit is two A4 pages. Any correction or suggestion is appreciated.
Admissions Office
Copenhagen Business School
Solbjerg Plads 3
2000 Frederiksberg
Denmark
Dear Admissions Committee,
I am writing to express my sincere interest in the International Business program at Copenhagen Business School. As someone who holds a deep passion for the understanding of diverse cultures and believes in the power of markets to change people's lives for the better, I am particularly drawn to the unique opportunities offered by your institution.
Firstly, let me introduce myself. My name is Pedro, I'm 25 years old. As an Argentinian of strong Spanish descent, I have been captivated by the notable contrast between the ways of thinking that can derive from two different cultures, and the reasons behind this. For this matter, geography, history, languages and politics have always been at the hearth of my intelectual interests. So much so that my main objective after graduating school was to study International Relations at University, believing that in the dialogue and understanding between governments of different nations relied their prosperity. Despite my good academical performance and my personal enjoyment, economic setbacks forced me to leave my studies after two years. Yet the passion that burns in oneself cannot be easily turned off.
My journey led me to Europe, in Amsterdam, I found myself immersed in a cosmopolitan hub teeming with economic activity, a radical change from my previous experience in Argentina, where corruption at most stages of government and the unpredictability of a closed and crashing economy led its people to impoverishment and the renouncing of an idea of a future. Seeing firsthand how an economy prospered in an bussiness-friendly environment and the pronounced impact that private activity had on the life quality of regular people was an eye-opener that changed me for life. Never before have I felt that a society gave me the possibilities to draft my future and live my dreams. The missing piece of my global puzzle was revealed, commerce and finance, complemented with sane and responsible government policies, were at the core of the prosperity of nations and the ultimate well being of humanity.
While working as a waiter and with this new perspective in mind, I started finding an odd fascination for the distinct consuming preferences of the different cultural backgrounds that I encountered in my day to day life. For example how the preference of certain types of meats and their cooking points over others were often influenced by cultural culinary traditions. Additionally, I observed how customers from different regions assigned varying monetary values to items on the menu, finding them cheap or expensive based on their economic backgrounds and spending habits. I got as well the opportunity to see firsthand the unexpected problems that may arise in a regular business and how people-managing and an intrepid decision-making ability are crucial to navigate the tricky waves of the modern economy, filled with challenges like inflation or trade blockades derived from war, to name a few.
This is where I saw that in the proper distribution of worldwide goods there was a possibility to satisfy the always-changing necessities of this varied population, and that a crucial element to achieve this falls on fostering cross-cultural dialogue and appreciation in today's interconnected world. But at the same time I thought that I was missing the bigger picture by only working in service. I wanted to see the accounting numbers behind the place where I was working, where I suspected lied a big weight in the decisions like cutting staff or changing providers. I wanted to know how the company that I was working for choose their target audience and the marketing strategies involved in attracting them. I wanted to learn how government policy could affect a business and how to properly adapt to this challenges. But I would never get to know all of that unless I changed path.
My decision was set, I wanted to make an impact in the world's economy, I wanted to help people live a good life by making their desired goods as accessible as possible while engaging in the richness of our multicultural world. For this matter a bachelor's degree in international business seemed like an ideal fit for my purpose as it offers a rich blend of insights into both the human dynamics of organizational behavior and decision-making and the crucial quantitative analysis necessary to assess a business's profitability and success. I could join my old passion of understanding different cultures and their way of thinking with my new passion of understanding complex business decisions and reading economical climates.
While looking up different academical offers, I saw that specifically the CBS excels in this regard with an optimal interdisciplinary balance, as well as having strong connections to industry leaders and multinational corporations who provide students with access to internships, guest lectures, and networking events where I believe I will be able to gain experience and insights into the latest industry trends and practices. To be honest, there is an abundance of reasons as to why I would like to study in Copenhagen. Giants of innovation like Vestas and Ørsted in the renewable energy area, Novo Nordisk in health or Maersk in shipping and logistics (just to name a few) make of this country a goldmine of learning opportunities in a number of different areas. Not to mention the beauty of the city itself along with its vibrant and cosmopolitan setting, known for its high quality of life, respect for human dignity, innovative business climate, and strategic location at the crossroads of Europe and the Nordic region, where a diverse range of industries and markets lie. Studying at CBS for me means being immersed in this dynamic environment, where a relaxed and opened student atmosphere can engage with leading companies, startups, and thought leaders in various industries while enjoying the city's rich cultural offerings and progressive lifestyle.
In conclusion, I am fully engaged to make this the opportunity of my lifetime if you allow me to. I enrolled myself in a math course given by the University of Amsterdam and started studying finance with a tutor , as well as compelling myself in the learning of two more languages (besides english and spanish) just to make of myself an optimal candidate for the University. I am thrilled at the prospect of joining the International Business program at Copenhagen Business School and confident that my background, coupled with my passion for commerce, cultural exchange and sheer willpower will enable me to make valuable contributions to the program and beyond.
Thank you for considering my application. I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to and learn from the vibrant community at Copenhagen Business School.
Sincerely,
Pedro xxx
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Please edit the beginning of your essay. You should be focusing only on the motivational aspect of your interest in enrolling in the school. You should not be presenting a personal biography to the reviewer. He will overlook that aspect as it is not part of the motivational consideration aspect. The story of you working as a waiter, that will not be considered either. When a motivational letter is written, it is done so with the understanding that you have a deep personal connection with the course that you wish to enroll in. That you have some sort of advocacy for the career path you have chosen that you wish to fulfill through the acquiring of advanced studies and training. This particular piece of writing does not meet those expectations. It should be written over from the start, using the correct perspective and relevant information.
