'student of computer and programming' - IELTS 1, A letter to my tutor

You have a full time job and are also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you can not continue the course.

Write a letter to your tutor. In your letter
Describe the situation
Explain why you cannot continue at this time
Say what action you would like to take

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am a 4th year undergraduate student of computer and programming academic study. I enrolled in your history class this term which was in the morning of Sunday and Tuesday.

Unfortunately, I found a full time job with good salary in the city from Saturday to Monday 8 AM to 3 PM, so that can help me to pay the university tuition in time, in addition to save some extra money for the next term, consequently that job will prevent me to attend your class.

Because of your reputation and my insisting to attend your class and do not miss any of it, I am writing to ask if you could help me to postpone it to the next term, otherwise a refund of class tuition may be asked to be given.

I am looking forward to hear from you soon

Yours faithfully

Hadi Ibrahim

Hi,
The essay consists of 145 words, while it should include at least 150 words. This fact may drastically decrease your mark.

This is a letter to your tutor. So, I think you should replace Mr/Madam with the surname of your tutor. I know that this is not a real situation but in the IELTS writing you can lie and you can use a fictional name :).

I have enrolled in your history class...


Finding a job is not a bad event. I think it is not necessary to start the paragraph with this word. You can use the word "However",

I found a full time job with a good salary in the citythat I need to work onfrom Saturday to Monday . In addition, the work starts at 8 AM toand finishes at 3 PM. . (Sometimes, it is better to explain your idea in more than one sentence to make it more clear).

so thatThe work/It can help me to pay the university tuition fee in time


All this paragraph is just one sentence. Break it down to several parts as I told you above.


Do not start a sentence with "Because".

Because of your reputation and my insisting to attend your class and do not miss any of it(as a suggestion u can use this sentence:" As the history course is one of my favourite subjects and I do not want to lose the chance for attending your exceptional class" , I am writing to ask...

I am looking forward to hearing from you soon

Regards
Ahmad