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unipdu FT-D_my letters to Deden - detailed description about my homeland



irfan ian 1 / -  
Oct 26, 2016   #1
Jl.Kenanga No.19
Kediri East Java
20 October 2016

Assalamualaikum my friend Deden,

Hello,how are you today,i hope you're in good condition,cause here im so well.
Oke friend,Here I would like to tell you all about my new homeland. My homeland is located in ParimonoJombang. Beside the SPBU Mojosongo.if you dificult to find it, you can search ingoogle map. But, I think my house is easy to find. Because its located seam of road. If you have a trip from Jombang Town Square to Tebuireng. You will pass my house. If you want to visit my house, You have to pass the small bridge that's made of wood. Because, Infront of my house is a small river. There, I have a small garden which consist of many growths as like flowers.my garden is originally from soil, and there are many species of grass. Oke lets continue for describing my homeland. My house is not too large. It has a door and a large glass window. My terrace only 2 meters. But my terrace has different power for me. Because, when Im staying there, I will find many inspiration easily. My wall is green colour, and the floor is browncolour. And my living room is not too large also. Because, there are many tools ofbaby equipment. Because of why, my sister is making available for renting the baby equipments. And my living room is my sweet room for me. Because, everyday I spend my sleeptime in my sweet living room with my younger brother. Oke lets continue. Now is talking about my bedrooms. How many bedrooms here? Oke, in my homeland is contain of 6 person. And in my house is available for two bedrooms only. Because of that, im the one who are choosing to change the living room become my room. Here, there is a middle room, but this middle room is different with the other house. Because it shapes elongated with the measure is 4x2. In the middle room you will find long chair, table, cupboard, refrigerator, and television. And behind of my house are kitchen, stove, rack of plate, rubbish box. For the unique one, you will see dressing table. Beside the kitchen also, you will find the store house. It contains with everything unused. Beside the storehouse is bath room. I include that my bathroom very large. And beside the kitchen is a door that connecting to in front of my house. In front of my bathroom you will find a washing machine, rack of shoes. Beside the bathroom there is a drying place. Every bedroom of my house must there is the window and ventilator, because we need air health circulation. I clean up my house twice for everyday. And I mop every room of my house every week. And for every month I cut the grass. My house is shaded. Because it sheltered with the high tree. And the environtment of my homeland is so clean. You will feel difficult for finding the spilled rubbish. Because, I always throw the rubbish to the rubbish box. Some suggest for everyone, keep clean your environment. Especially for your own homeland, and don't forget to manage your air health circulation well.Here is description of my homeland,i wait for your reply.

Wassalam.
Your friend Irfan

ichephe 4 / 9  
Oct 26, 2016   #2
Uhm.. I don't know where to start..

First, there are many grammatical errors in the letter and many inaccurate vocabularies.
However since this is a letter to a friend and you usually have conversation, I think it will do.

So let me make simple suggestion so the letter is easier to read:
Begin with separating those continuous sentences into paragraphs:
- introduction, how to get to your home
- describing your house "Oke lets continue for describing my homeland...". Since it will be too long, I suggest you separate another paragraph when you are about to talk about your bedrooms "Oke lets continue. Now is talking about my bedrooms..."

- last is your activity "I clean up my house twice for everyday...."


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