Writing a pitch for discover magazine - would it be accepted by an editor?

writing a pitch for discover magazine im emailing it does this stand out to be accepted by an editor? pls correcct grammar and how should i improve it is the format right any more feedback is appreciated thanks loves!

mind-blowing discovery

February 9, 2017.

To the editing committee,

Two weeks ago, a woman from Nevada died of a superbug that was resistant to every available antibiotic on the market. Unfortunate incidents like these are reminders of the future events that are yet to present themselves. However, current Chinese and German researchers have discovered a possible technique to combat the tribulations that plaque humanity.

After years of reading DISCOVER, I believe my time has come to contribute to the magazine that has nurtured my curious side. In my article titled 'Moth gut microbes-a new antibiotic possibility?' I will cover the discovery of an antibiotic microbe found in the gut of moths. Why do moths allow microbes to colonize their gut when they're totally herbivorous? How do the microbes in the gut work their mechanisms? How will moth gut microbes help the human population? Can this discovery help us health-wise only or economically as well? My piece runs in the 1000-1500 word range with photographs of the concerned topic. I also had the opportunity to contact the researchers and ask them more about their research. I have included direct quotations from them in my article. My article is also devoid of jargon and complex descriptions that will confuse the magazine's readers.

All these are factors and questions are incorporated in my article, distinguishing it from other articles in smaller magazines. Publishing this article in DISCOVER will make a wide audience aware of the risks that loom in our near future.

I am an experienced editor, writer, and proof reader. I am positive that I can convey this mind-blowing discovery in my article clearly and in an interesting manner that will appeal to DISCOVER's target audience.

Thank you for your consideration of this article. I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
my name
my email id

Hi Columbia, these are a few of my thoughts for finalizing your letter.


These unfortunate incidents are reminders of the future events which possibly happen.


After reading Discover for years, I really believe this is a right time to contribute.....


I also have had a link to.......


Besides that, my article is devoid of....
(I suggest you harness proper linking words for making your flow better. It can help readers for getting your logical flow)

All these are factors and questions are (you should omit this word) incorporated in my article


similar magazines.
Note: I think you should reread your writing before you upload to make sure what you write is what you mind.
Hopefully, you can achieve your target. GOOD LUCK

Lissy, this letter is not enough to entice the Discover magazine editors to give you a shot. It does not work. It is not professional enough in format and content. It looks like a run of the mill, not really interesting nor relevant letter that doesn't have any impact upon the reader. There is no reason them to be interested in such generic references in your letter. In order to improve this, you have to write a new letter that will be better suited to a pitch format. What do you have to do to make this more interesting?

For starters, deliver a more interesting hook at the start. Don't narrate the facts of a story. Tell the story from start to finish in an interesting form. Who was the woman? Where did the story take place? When? Why should I care about what happened to her?

Next, tell me why I should care about this situation. Develop the context and explain why the reader should be interested in finding out about these developments. Of what importance is it to the readers of the magazine? Why do you think the article belongs in Discover? Just because this article of interest to you doesn't mean it targets the same magazine demographic. Sell the idea about why this article will be an excellent addition to their monthly issue.

Since you have already done the legwork for the article, cite the names of the people whom you interviewed for the article. Tell the magazine if you will be providing your own images or if they will have to provide the images for you. How do you plan to present the sidebar for this article? You already got one part right, you told the editor how many words you have in your article.

Before you can actually sell the editor on the idea for your story, he first has to have confidence that you are qualified to write this article. It can't just be based on other people's work or interviews. What makes you an authority on this issue Special knowledge, experience, personal interest or connection to the topic will be what mostly sells the article. If you are an authority who can create a personal connection to the article, you might have a chance to sell it. This can't just be an ordinary interview article. This is about a precise science so you should be able to impart personal opinions and knowledge as well.

Your closing presentation is weak and does not really present an idea of your strong personal belief in your article. "I hope to hear from you soon" is not really a very strong insistence on getting an answer out of them. Tell them you will call them to follow up or something. Show persistence in order to create a belief in your work. Tell them you want to discuss further improvements before print or something. Right now, I don't get that sense from your letter.

editted it hows this? thank you for your feedback!!! @Holt

February X, 2017.

Dear Editor,

Just three weeks ago, a woman from Nevada died of a superbug that was resistant to every available antibiotic on the market. Prior to her death, she was cared for in isolation; the staff who treated her used infection control precautions to prevent spread of the superbug in the hospital in which they succeeded doing but they eventually couldn't save here. Unfortunate incidents like these are reminders of the future events that are yet to present themselves and the darkness that looms in our near future. However, as problems arise so do solutions. For example, one recently discovered antibiotic solution lies in the gut of moths. Current Chinese and German researchers have discovered this possible technique to combat the tribulations that plaque humanity.

In my article titled 'Moth gut microbes-a new antibiotic possibility?', I will cover the discovery of an antibiotic microbe found in the gut of moths. My article starts off with the incident that lead to the development of a previously known fact. The piece I propose will then go on to cover not only the method, process, and results of the experiment, but also the surprising discoveries made during the experimenting. I will be concisely explaining why moths despite being herbivorous allow microbes to colonize their guts and how these microbes work their mechanisms. The piece will also reveal ways in how these microbes could be incorporated into the human medicines thus protecting us from deadly microbes that are resistant to the antibiotics currently on the market. My article ends in a way that summarizes what is currently being done to develop on that research and explains why this research is significant (not only will it help humans health wise, but also agriculturally and economically)

Having researched this topic, I can say with confidence that little has been published about scientific work. My piece runs in the 800-1000 word range with photographs of the concerned topic. I had the opportunity to interview the researchers (Dr. Wilhem Boland and Dr. Yongqi Shao) and I have included direct quotations from them in my article which distinguishes it from articles on the same topic in smaller magazines. My article is also devoid of jargon and complex descriptions that will confuse the magazine's readers.

Publishing this article on Discover's website (under 'vaccines and drugs') will make a wide audience aware of the risks and solutions that simultaneously come up to combat each other. I am an experienced editor, writer, and proof reader. I am also positive that I can convey this mind-blowing discovery in my article clearly. I can say with confidence that little has been published about scientific work. Please let me know if you are interested in my article so that I can follow up for more guidelines and give you the written piece within five days. Additionally, let me know if you have any questions regarding this idea. I look forward to hearing your feedback. Thank you in advance for your consideration!

Best,
my name
my email

Lissy, by the time the letter you sent to the editor, even it is by email, the event that you mentioned will be more than 3 weeks old. It is best to mention the complete and exact date of the incident. That is important because, should your article come up for consideration, the magazine will definitely vet your information to make sure that you are not just using alternative facts for your article. I am a bit worried about the background that you presented to the editor. It would seem that you do not have the actual background to impress the editorial team. I mean, you are just an ordinary writer. You don't have a background in biology, chemistry, or any field of science that could tell them you are somewhat of an authority or an actual authority on the information you will be reporting about. That is still the weakest point of your letter. Is there any chance that you can somehow relate some information from your background that will tell the reader that your credentials will make the readers view you as an authority in this case? The article sounds interesting to me, but I am not sure if the editors will feel the same way. Specially when they consider your professional background in relation to the article you are pitching. I guess we won't know till you submit your letter and get communication from Discovery Magazine.

@Holt

i do have a deep science bg and ive written for other magazines before should i include that aswell in the letter? and im hoping to send it by tonight so the three weeks part will be fine but ill include the date if thats better

and in terms of presenting the idea and content of the pitch and the grammar, is everything fine? thanks so much for time

Definitely include your science background relevant to your article in order to create an authoritative pitch. If you can convince the editor that your background in relation to the article is something that is notable, they may want to verify it as part of the consideration process. So include verifiable information with your background information. Include the date in the article because you never know when they'll get around to considering your pitch at their meetings. The date will keep the article relevant in a way. The pitch is almost done save for the two minor revisions. The grammar is also acceptable because it retains a professional and respectful tone. The letter is almost ready. All that you have to do now is apply the corrections and additional information so you can use the letter already.

@Holt
thank you so much!