Unanswered [2]
  

Home / Poetry   % width   Posts: 3


"I'm an extinct human" - personal poem



van82 1 / -  
Nov 1, 2010   #1
be as critical as possible and give me some suggestions

About to begin my life
I found myself ready to walk, run and jump
into this adventure in which no one assures you to succeed
This adventure in which a branch is an enormous tree
This adventure in which a water drop is the ocean
This adventure in which my heart is redder than my blood
This adventure in which I take little things that mean more than their size.
My past is frothy,
My life unusual,
My face peculiar,
My fate immense,
I'm an extinct human--no one can find a similar.

EF_Susan - / 2310  
Nov 6, 2010   #2
I like your poem a lot! It feels wrong to help people with poetry, as if I were being asked to change the colors of a painting. Hmm, if it were mine;

About to begin my life
I found myself ready to walk, run and jump
into this adventure in which no one assures you to succeed ---can guarantee my success

This adventure in which a branch is an enormous tree ---I am a branch in an enormous tree

This adventure in which a water drop is the ocean ---I am a drop of water in the ocean

This adventure in which my heart is redder than my blood
This adventure in which I take little things that mean more than their size.
My past is frothy,
My life unusual,
My face peculiar,
My fate immense, ---future

I'm an extinct human--no one can find a similar.---a unique human
Mohamed123 2 / 3  
Nov 7, 2010   #3
I'm a inimitable human--no one can find a similar.


Home / Poetry / "I'm an extinct human" - personal poem
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳