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my first poem. have some difficulties with a title for it



k__katerina 1 / -  
Feb 9, 2014   #1
i really can't decide with the most suitable title for it. i do hope somebody will be able to help me giving some propositions and in addition perhaps some critics:)

I'm enslaved and he's still here
And he knows that I'm in fear
I am sure he can master
And his movements are much faster

All my efforts are in vain
And his presence brings me pain
He is stronger and I feel
That we'll never make a deal

This incessant voice is here
Always speaks inside my head
And I can't get rid of fear
Voice reminds me what I've had

It pursues me all the time
All the feelings left behind
I can't listen anymore
Someone, close this open door

Should I think it's not the end?
May I hope for help from friend?
I'm possessed by voice's noise
I'm afraid I have no choice

Though I'd tried to contend
Came the time to understand
I'm exhausted - he's untiring
And his victory is coming

This incessant voice is here
Always speaks inside my head
And I can't get rid of fear
Voice reminds me what I've had

mika1998 4 / 13  
Feb 11, 2014   #2
it was really great:)
just in here i think voice must have an article such as that or the.

Voice reminds me what I've had

n also i think its better 2 say noise of voice that is also suitable for choice in next verse n more grammatically true

I'm possessed by voice's noise
I'm afraid I have no choice

nice poet, good luck:))
presmanM 1 / 1  
Feb 23, 2014   #3
Title - "The inadequate cry for help"


Home / Poetry / my first poem. have some difficulties with a title for it
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