"Mirrored behaviors.", English 12 Essay Comparing Two Poems (for BC, Canada)

Please be as critical as possible. Also, I would like to start the second paragraph (first body paragraph) with a more creative and interesting topic sentence, but I'm having trouble writing one. I also think my conclusion and title are very weak, so hopefully somebody can help me with those. :)

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Why People Like to Look in Mirrors

Since Plato's time, human beings have sought to define and achieve idealism. Hitler demonstrated his impression of the ideal human to the extremes by attempting to exterminate all people other than the Aryans. You and I also strive for idealism. Students struggle to achieve their ideal marks. Adults strive for ideal performance in work. Even drug addicts aim for ideals, as they seek the ideal lifestyle and pleasure through drugs. Every individual's concept of idealism is different. Poets Sylvia Plath and Nelle Fertig express their opinions on idealism through "Mirror" and "I Have Come to the Conclusion," respectively.

The persona of Sylvia Plath's "Mirror" is, in the first stanza, an arrogant and contradictive mirror. Its vanity is especially apparent as it compares itself to god, "I am.../ The eye of a little god" (Plath, 4-5). The mirror also believes that it has no preconceptions. Its statements are short and informative to convince the reader of its reliability and objectivity. However, the readers discern that the mirror is not as unbiased as it claims to be when it demonstrates emotions near the end of the first stanza, even mentioning that it possesses a heart.

The persona then transforms into a lake in the second stanza. The lake notices a woman looking into it, but upon doing so, she leaves as she is dissatisfied by what she observes. Failing to understand the woman's pain, the lake utilizes a graphical simile to accentuate the cruel reality, "In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman/ Rises toward her like a terrible fish" (Plath, 17-18). The lake is not only unsympathetic towards the woman's pain of aging, but it even accentuates her misery. Linking the distress that the woman experiences due to aging with the complex personification of the mirror's personality and emotions, it becomes apparent that the mirror symbolizes a woman who is extremely satisfied with her appearance.

The theme of "I Have Come to the Conclusion" is stated by the woman in the first stanza: "[When] we fall in love/we really fall in love with ourselves" (Fertig, 3-4). The woman supports her paradoxical statement by remarking that people choose their other halves based on the qualities they desire to recognize in them. In other words, they are searching for their own ideals, and not actually looking for another person.

For example, one tends to be in a relationship with another who would tell the former, "I love you."
Mirrors in both "Mirror" and "I Have Come to the Conclusion" symbolize ideals: the mirror in "Mirror" represents the ideal woman, while mirrors in "I Have Come to the Conclusion" represent the ideals qualities of one's life partner. However, Plath and Fertig utilize different methods to describe the consequences when ideals no longer exist. In "Mirror," as the woman ages, she becomes frustrated with her appearance because it is not that of an ideal woman's. Thus, Plath changes the persona from a mirror to a lake to preserve the idea that mirrors only reflect ideals. On the other hand, in "I Have Come to the Conclusion," Fertig symbolizes a loss of ideals with the smashing of the mirrors. The woman mentions breaking "a few/ very fine mirrors" (Fertig, 12-13). When her boyfriend no longer demonstrates her ideal qualities, she breaks up with him, represented by the shattering the mirror. Hence, the complete mirror will always represent ideals. Involving violence, Fertig's representation of the destruction of ideals is much more dramatic than that of Plath's. Since shattered mirrors cannot be restored, Fertig implies that once ideals are lost, they cannot be recovered. The mirror can only be pieced together at best, symbolizing an imitation of the original ideal. It will never reflect as perfectly as the original mirror. The imitation only appears to be ideal, but is, in fact, not.

Developing mirrors as symbols for idealism, both Sylvia Plath's "Mirror" and Nelle Fertig's "I Have Come to the Conclusion" explore the sequences as ideals collapse. Yet, their perceptions seem to be extremely different, reminding readers that idealism is a concept that can be interpreted in many different manners. Plath believes that once an ideal disappears, it will change into something else completely, as the mirror transforms into a lake. However, Fertig feels that the idealism will be destroyed, lost, and not replaceable, as indicated by the complete shattering of the mirrors. These are Plath's and Fertig's ideals. What are yours?

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Sylvia Plath

Mirror

REMOVED

Nelle Fertig

I Have Come to the Conclusion

I have come to the conclusion
she said
that when ...

REMOVED

For a title might I recommend, "Mirrored behaviors." Or possibly, "The Ideal Reflection."

Good luck!
Mariah

Well, that first sentence of the 2nd para is not too bad! However, I am looking for a strong thesis statement. I see this: Poets Sylvia Plath and Nelle Fertig express their opinions on idealism through "Mirror" and "I Have Come to the Conclusion," respectively.------ is this worth writing an essay about, or is it too general?

I say it is too general.

I see, though, that throughout the essay you keep making the point that each individual's idealism is unique. You can say something very meaningful by emphasizing this idea. But what is the way to emphasize something? Express the meaningful idea in a sentence at the end of the first para. Let that last sentence of the first para be the second-to-last sentence. Add one more sentence to the end of that para, a new thesis sentence -- one that expresses this excellent idea you have about the subjectivity and uniqueness of each person's set of ideals. :-)

Thanks, Kevin! Here is my new thesis:
Both Sylvia Plath's "Mirror" and Nelle Fertig's "I Have Come to the Conclusion" utilize mirrors as symbols for idealism to express their respective poet's opinions on ideals.

I also wrote a new concluding paragraph. I feel that I'm going a little off topic in the end though:

Developing mirrors as symbols for idealism, both Sylvia Plath's "Mirror" and Nelle Fertig's "I Have Come to the Conclusion" explore the sequences as ideals collapse. Plath believes that once an ideal disappears, it will change into something else completely, as the mirror transforms into a lake. However, Fertig feels that the idealism will be destroyed, lost, and not replaceable, as indicated by the complete shattering of the mirrors. Both Plath and Fertig fully demonstrate their unique opinions on idealism by developing mirrors as symbols. Yet, their distinctive beliefs about idealism remind readers once again that idealism is a concept that can be interpreted in countless ways. Each individual possesses a different understanding of ideals. Perhaps, then, a utopia which satisfies everyone's principles will never be possible. Humans are, after all, imperfect creatures.

I like it! I have not gone deep enough in studying these poems to know how accurate it is, but it is well-written and eloquent... and it is very clear and intriguing.