I need help in polishing up this paper. any help would be greatly appreciated. The assignment is a gender studies research paper.
Peter Pan Syndrome is not a recognized condition by the World Health Organization. However, the symptoms and the way it affects the person who has it are very real. According to Dictionary.com, Peter Pan Syndrome or PPS is "a condition characterized by immature or childish behavior; refusal to grow up." There are several contributing factors that can be attributed to a PPS victim. Anxiety, loneliness, sex-role conflicts, narcissism and chauvinism are the basic factors that could lead to PPS. All of these put together create a troubled person who will most likely have social problems for a majority of his lives.
Anxiety often arises from covert messages from the victim's parent's conflicted relationship and is a leading factor in a PPS victim. As children, the boy grows up in a household where the mom and dad realize their marriage is superficial but do not acknowledge it. The mother yearns to be loved by their husband and is constantly throwing remarks such as "Your dad is too busy with work to spend time with his family" or "Dad would rather go golfing than sit down to supper with us." Similarly the father makes statements such as "Your mom doesn't understand men" or "you will hurt your mom's feelings; don't do that." It is these covert messages that lead to anxiety for the young boy. Because of the problems between the parents, "PPS victims are typically sensitive children. They listen to their parents and try to do as told. They may not always show it, but they have a strong sense of right and wrong." (Kiley 65). The boy wants to blame his dad for the situation, but needs his love. He then turns to his mother who accuses him of acting like his father which makes him blame himself. It is this unsettling family complex that fosters anxiety in the young boys mind. In the future this anxiety will always make the man feel unsecure and he will feel very uncomfortable with criticism.
Another key characteristic of a PPS victim is loneliness. The boy is constantly trying to fit in since he doesn't get the attention he needs from his parents. In doing so he will "work so hard to avoid rejection that [he has] little time to enjoy the comfort of belonging. The result is loneliness." (Kiley 29). Once the boy turns into a young man and has eventually made some friendships, they will most likely be superficial because he will always be trying to impress his friends in order to feel wanted. Often a PPS victim will have a persona of a class clown because he is trying so hard to fit in he draws as much attention to himself as possible. As the boy grows up, his friends grow tired of his antics and he since he has learned to socialize by being childish and at times vulgar, he finds that he usually makes friends with people younger than himself. On the surface a PPS victim may seem popular and in control, but most often than not they are in conflict with themselves and do not feel a sense of belonging which makes them feel lonely.
With today's norms on dating and exploring the opposite sex, PPS victims are often left in the dark. They are usually so insecure by the time they start to reach puberty and the new world of dating that they have no idea how to talk to a girl. They are so afraid of messing up they don't even try to play the usual games of "courtship". The problem is confounded as the victim's buddies start dating and talking about it. It becomes an embarrassment to the victim and sometimes it can even lead to issues concerning homosexuality whether the PPS victim questions his sexual orientation or the other guys make fun of him for not having an interest in girls. It is not that he has an attraction for men, he just can't figure out why he has trouble with girls.
It is usually not until after high school that a new symptom of the PPS victim comes into play. As the person ages and his childlike antics do not get the attention he needs, he turns to narcissism. From all of his insecurities, he tries to achieve perfection to feel comfortable. In order to achieve this perfection the victim will exploit the people around him in order to make himself look good. In doing so he loses any sense of loyalty and is not troubled by the way he takes advantage of the people around him. If his exploitations do not work and something tarnishes his feeling of perfection, the PPS victim may sometimes have fits of rage. Most of the time people will just let the victim have his way in order to get him under control. One thing that a PPS victim is good at is pointing the blame at someone else, "to admit blame would be to admit imperfection-something he simply must not do." (Kiley 127). A PPS victim is often associated with recklessness, drug use, and sexual promiscuity. "Nothing feeds the fragile ego of the PPS victim like the oohs and aahs of girls whom he has sexually seduced." (Kiley 127). Despite having trouble forming relationships with females, the victim has no problem having "one night stands" and being promiscuous since there is no commitment involved. This is why if the victim manages to form a relationship with a woman it will be a much younger woman whom he does not feel a level of commitment to.
Because of the conflicting household the PPS victim grew up in he usually has a skewed perception of how a man and woman relationship should be. He has always been taught that the woman will take care of the household and the man will do as he pleases. This sense of chauvinism has many functions in a PPS victim. First it makes him feel closer to his father and he feels a sense that his father would approve. Second he realizes that because of the situation with his mother, it is a natural inclination of women to be obedient and keep their feelings to their selves. Third it allows him to assert himself in a relationship and finally feel in control of his sexual nature. And most importantly it is his way of pretending to be grown up.
As a young child there is no PPS victim to identify. It is not until it is too late in order to recognize a PPS victim. While he may grow up in a house hold with good intent, it is the household primarily that produces a PPS victim. Peter Pan Syndrome is a confounding phenomenon where one symptom such as anxiety leads to another and the problems associated with it escalade until adulthood. It is only with therapy that brings the monster of PPS into light for the victim, he must acknowledge his past and how he got to where he is if he is ever to set himself straight. For the victim he cannot simply just shut off his symptoms and be normal atlas, there is long road of self realization to become the man he truly wants to be.
Peter Pan Syndrome is not a recognized condition by the World Health Organization. However, the symptoms and the way it affects the person who has it are very real. According to Dictionary.com, Peter Pan Syndrome or PPS is "a condition characterized by immature or childish behavior; refusal to grow up." There are several contributing factors that can be attributed to a PPS victim. Anxiety, loneliness, sex-role conflicts, narcissism and chauvinism are the basic factors that could lead to PPS. All of these put together create a troubled person who will most likely have social problems for a majority of his lives.
Anxiety often arises from covert messages from the victim's parent's conflicted relationship and is a leading factor in a PPS victim. As children, the boy grows up in a household where the mom and dad realize their marriage is superficial but do not acknowledge it. The mother yearns to be loved by their husband and is constantly throwing remarks such as "Your dad is too busy with work to spend time with his family" or "Dad would rather go golfing than sit down to supper with us." Similarly the father makes statements such as "Your mom doesn't understand men" or "you will hurt your mom's feelings; don't do that." It is these covert messages that lead to anxiety for the young boy. Because of the problems between the parents, "PPS victims are typically sensitive children. They listen to their parents and try to do as told. They may not always show it, but they have a strong sense of right and wrong." (Kiley 65). The boy wants to blame his dad for the situation, but needs his love. He then turns to his mother who accuses him of acting like his father which makes him blame himself. It is this unsettling family complex that fosters anxiety in the young boys mind. In the future this anxiety will always make the man feel unsecure and he will feel very uncomfortable with criticism.
Another key characteristic of a PPS victim is loneliness. The boy is constantly trying to fit in since he doesn't get the attention he needs from his parents. In doing so he will "work so hard to avoid rejection that [he has] little time to enjoy the comfort of belonging. The result is loneliness." (Kiley 29). Once the boy turns into a young man and has eventually made some friendships, they will most likely be superficial because he will always be trying to impress his friends in order to feel wanted. Often a PPS victim will have a persona of a class clown because he is trying so hard to fit in he draws as much attention to himself as possible. As the boy grows up, his friends grow tired of his antics and he since he has learned to socialize by being childish and at times vulgar, he finds that he usually makes friends with people younger than himself. On the surface a PPS victim may seem popular and in control, but most often than not they are in conflict with themselves and do not feel a sense of belonging which makes them feel lonely.
With today's norms on dating and exploring the opposite sex, PPS victims are often left in the dark. They are usually so insecure by the time they start to reach puberty and the new world of dating that they have no idea how to talk to a girl. They are so afraid of messing up they don't even try to play the usual games of "courtship". The problem is confounded as the victim's buddies start dating and talking about it. It becomes an embarrassment to the victim and sometimes it can even lead to issues concerning homosexuality whether the PPS victim questions his sexual orientation or the other guys make fun of him for not having an interest in girls. It is not that he has an attraction for men, he just can't figure out why he has trouble with girls.
It is usually not until after high school that a new symptom of the PPS victim comes into play. As the person ages and his childlike antics do not get the attention he needs, he turns to narcissism. From all of his insecurities, he tries to achieve perfection to feel comfortable. In order to achieve this perfection the victim will exploit the people around him in order to make himself look good. In doing so he loses any sense of loyalty and is not troubled by the way he takes advantage of the people around him. If his exploitations do not work and something tarnishes his feeling of perfection, the PPS victim may sometimes have fits of rage. Most of the time people will just let the victim have his way in order to get him under control. One thing that a PPS victim is good at is pointing the blame at someone else, "to admit blame would be to admit imperfection-something he simply must not do." (Kiley 127). A PPS victim is often associated with recklessness, drug use, and sexual promiscuity. "Nothing feeds the fragile ego of the PPS victim like the oohs and aahs of girls whom he has sexually seduced." (Kiley 127). Despite having trouble forming relationships with females, the victim has no problem having "one night stands" and being promiscuous since there is no commitment involved. This is why if the victim manages to form a relationship with a woman it will be a much younger woman whom he does not feel a level of commitment to.
Because of the conflicting household the PPS victim grew up in he usually has a skewed perception of how a man and woman relationship should be. He has always been taught that the woman will take care of the household and the man will do as he pleases. This sense of chauvinism has many functions in a PPS victim. First it makes him feel closer to his father and he feels a sense that his father would approve. Second he realizes that because of the situation with his mother, it is a natural inclination of women to be obedient and keep their feelings to their selves. Third it allows him to assert himself in a relationship and finally feel in control of his sexual nature. And most importantly it is his way of pretending to be grown up.
As a young child there is no PPS victim to identify. It is not until it is too late in order to recognize a PPS victim. While he may grow up in a house hold with good intent, it is the household primarily that produces a PPS victim. Peter Pan Syndrome is a confounding phenomenon where one symptom such as anxiety leads to another and the problems associated with it escalade until adulthood. It is only with therapy that brings the monster of PPS into light for the victim, he must acknowledge his past and how he got to where he is if he is ever to set himself straight. For the victim he cannot simply just shut off his symptoms and be normal atlas, there is long road of self realization to become the man he truly wants to be.