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A report of the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty


minhnguyen317 1 / 1  
Jul 16, 2011   #1
Can someone help me to check this essay? Thank you guys a lot:x

The task:
The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

My writing:
The table reveals the percentage of different types of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

There were nearly two million of all households rating 11% in this position. However, the most popular type was only one parent at 21%, comprising 232,000 households, followed by those of single adult with 19%. It is noticeable that both of these categories took half proportion of poor families in poverty position.

The couple families were ostensibly in better off with lower poverty levels for couple with children and the ones without children, by 12& and 7% respectively. The families of single aged adult in 6% were more than the aged couple ones with 4%. However, these family types were the fewest ones living in poverty.

In general, the table suggests that households of single adult and those with children were more likely to be living in poverty than those consisting of couple.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Jul 18, 2011   #2
There were nearly two million of all households rating 11% in this position.

Wait a minute... 2 million households rated 11% in WHAT position? This part is unclear.

The couple families were ostensibly in better off with lower poverty levels for couples with children, and the ones without children by 12 and and 7% respectively.

The families of single aged adult in 6% were more than the aged couples with 4%. ---I made a small change, but what you mean here is still a little unclear.

This ending is good and clear:
In general, the table suggests that households of single adult and those with children were more likely to be living in poverty than those consisting of couple.

:-)
OP minhnguyen317 1 / 1  
Jul 19, 2011   #3
Thank you guys,

Firstly, I mean " this position" is " poverty".

Secondly, I will try to rewrite the sentence to make its meaning more meaningful.

Thank you again :x


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