This is the first two paragraphs I wrote for my research paper on Thomas Jefferson. I would like some advice on if it is focused or if it makes sense. Also, I need help revising my opening paragraph. Any tips would be appreciated.
The assignment prompt was to pick a historical figure for 1700-late 1800s. You would have to write a research paper on it varying for 3-5 pages. The only restriction is to cite from preliminary sources.
Thomas Jefferson is dubbed as one of the founding fathers for the United States. He was born into wealth and did not propose any financial issues. However later in his life, Thomas Jefferson signed the Embargo Act of 1807 because he wanted to make more money for himself.
Thomas Jefferson states in a letter he sent to Congress on March 1808, " I have to...return you my thanks for the cloth furnished me. It came in good time, and does honor to your manufactory, being as good as anyone would wish to wear in any country." Jefferson praises the American manufactured clothes and states that it is the best in the country. He later than encourage American manufacturing and that the U.S should raise their own raw materials. This is clear that he is trying to build up some loyalty towards American factory, not to benefit them but himself. Ever since Thomas signed the Embargo Act of 1807, many people were still yearning for British-made products. As a president, he has great influence on the country as a whole; so if he says something, the citizens will strongly support it. He gave them flattery so he can buy an American manufacturing business to have its profit as another source for money. With flocks of people now going to buy American-made products, Thomas would benefit greatly. He was a farmer making money off of slaves' work, but he must have realized that it was coming an end. This is evident when he signed a law in 1807 that states, "it shall not be lawful to import or bring into the United States or the territories thereof from any foreign kingdom, place, or country, any negro, mulatto, or person of colour, with intent to hold, sell, or dispose of such negro, mulatto, or person of colour, as a slave, or to be held to service or labour." Jefferson signed this in an attempt to dwindle the institute of slavery by exterminating the source of slavery, the slave trade. If this act of 1807 succeed, he would have needed another source of income, since the amount of slaves would have dwindled. This all happened since Thomas signed the Embargo Act of 1807.
The assignment prompt was to pick a historical figure for 1700-late 1800s. You would have to write a research paper on it varying for 3-5 pages. The only restriction is to cite from preliminary sources.
Thomas Jefferson is dubbed as one of the founding fathers for the United States. He was born into wealth and did not propose any financial issues. However later in his life, Thomas Jefferson signed the Embargo Act of 1807 because he wanted to make more money for himself.
Thomas Jefferson states in a letter he sent to Congress on March 1808, " I have to...return you my thanks for the cloth furnished me. It came in good time, and does honor to your manufactory, being as good as anyone would wish to wear in any country." Jefferson praises the American manufactured clothes and states that it is the best in the country. He later than encourage American manufacturing and that the U.S should raise their own raw materials. This is clear that he is trying to build up some loyalty towards American factory, not to benefit them but himself. Ever since Thomas signed the Embargo Act of 1807, many people were still yearning for British-made products. As a president, he has great influence on the country as a whole; so if he says something, the citizens will strongly support it. He gave them flattery so he can buy an American manufacturing business to have its profit as another source for money. With flocks of people now going to buy American-made products, Thomas would benefit greatly. He was a farmer making money off of slaves' work, but he must have realized that it was coming an end. This is evident when he signed a law in 1807 that states, "it shall not be lawful to import or bring into the United States or the territories thereof from any foreign kingdom, place, or country, any negro, mulatto, or person of colour, with intent to hold, sell, or dispose of such negro, mulatto, or person of colour, as a slave, or to be held to service or labour." Jefferson signed this in an attempt to dwindle the institute of slavery by exterminating the source of slavery, the slave trade. If this act of 1807 succeed, he would have needed another source of income, since the amount of slaves would have dwindled. This all happened since Thomas signed the Embargo Act of 1807.