Please, This scholarship essay is due on the March 18.
what are the errors and cliches.
Does the essay meet the requirement of this question
please I need a constructive crticism and thanks in anticipation for your help.
How do you currently give back to your community, and how will you continue to do so? Why is this important to you? (Limited to 500 words)
In retrospection of my past experiences, my present and being able to visualize my future, I have seen from experience that the even a small commitment to works of humanity possesses an influential power in inspiring lives and change in the society and it for such derived benefits, I have develop a passion towards community service activities. Joy filled the household of Mr. and Mrs. Cletus Ogburie on receiving the news of my birth. According to the Ibo land's tradition, a son is the heir apparent and his birth is requisite to continue the family's lineage. Overwhelmed by happiness during the naming ceremony, my parents chose to name me "Chigozie" meaning "God's blessing". Growing up amongst five siblings, life was not an easy path for my family and in my position as the eldest child; it was my duty to take care of my sibling.
The moment of happiness eventually became short lived during an eruption of a tribal in the city. Being a victim to a war, I know how it feels to be trapped in a middle of a crisis heightened by mass ignorance and left to survive without shelter and limited amount of food. My wish for no child to experience similar conditions has motivated me to join the movements that pursue the education of the less privileged kids as its paramount goal. Since my college studies, I have participated in community outreach projects through various organizations I have joined. In my position as the President of the Voorhees College Rotaract club, an affiliation of the Rotary International, I implemented a "Reach One, Teach One" project in the Denmark Olar High school aimed at reducing the rate of teens dropping out from high school . This program offered teens the opportunity to participate in science projects, tutoring and mentoring activities. Through involvement in this program, students develop a passion for science, improved academically and were inspired to pursue a college education to achieve a career.
I also implemented a "Purple Pinky" project to raise fund for the eradication of Polio across the globe and also has participated in various sanitation activities in the environment. Once the Secretary of the Student in Free Enterprise, I was a member of team that executed a "Save a Child Abroad" project. In this project, stationaries, collected through free will donations, were sent to Osusu Primary and Secondary School in Aba, Abia State in Nigeria, to support the education the less privileged students.
As I strive to ascertain my career as an Electrical and Computer engineer, my long term goal is to establish an institution that would provide an opportunity for the unfortunate kids, who cannot afford the cost of college education, to gain prowess in technical and entrepreneurship program, obtain license to start up a business as well as gain equal opportunity for job employment. This program will assist in increasing independency, reducing illiteracy and improving the standard of living in places like Nigeria.
what are the errors and cliches.
Does the essay meet the requirement of this question
please I need a constructive crticism and thanks in anticipation for your help.
How do you currently give back to your community, and how will you continue to do so? Why is this important to you? (Limited to 500 words)
In retrospection of my past experiences, my present and being able to visualize my future, I have seen from experience that the even a small commitment to works of humanity possesses an influential power in inspiring lives and change in the society and it for such derived benefits, I have develop a passion towards community service activities. Joy filled the household of Mr. and Mrs. Cletus Ogburie on receiving the news of my birth. According to the Ibo land's tradition, a son is the heir apparent and his birth is requisite to continue the family's lineage. Overwhelmed by happiness during the naming ceremony, my parents chose to name me "Chigozie" meaning "God's blessing". Growing up amongst five siblings, life was not an easy path for my family and in my position as the eldest child; it was my duty to take care of my sibling.
The moment of happiness eventually became short lived during an eruption of a tribal in the city. Being a victim to a war, I know how it feels to be trapped in a middle of a crisis heightened by mass ignorance and left to survive without shelter and limited amount of food. My wish for no child to experience similar conditions has motivated me to join the movements that pursue the education of the less privileged kids as its paramount goal. Since my college studies, I have participated in community outreach projects through various organizations I have joined. In my position as the President of the Voorhees College Rotaract club, an affiliation of the Rotary International, I implemented a "Reach One, Teach One" project in the Denmark Olar High school aimed at reducing the rate of teens dropping out from high school . This program offered teens the opportunity to participate in science projects, tutoring and mentoring activities. Through involvement in this program, students develop a passion for science, improved academically and were inspired to pursue a college education to achieve a career.
I also implemented a "Purple Pinky" project to raise fund for the eradication of Polio across the globe and also has participated in various sanitation activities in the environment. Once the Secretary of the Student in Free Enterprise, I was a member of team that executed a "Save a Child Abroad" project. In this project, stationaries, collected through free will donations, were sent to Osusu Primary and Secondary School in Aba, Abia State in Nigeria, to support the education the less privileged students.
As I strive to ascertain my career as an Electrical and Computer engineer, my long term goal is to establish an institution that would provide an opportunity for the unfortunate kids, who cannot afford the cost of college education, to gain prowess in technical and entrepreneurship program, obtain license to start up a business as well as gain equal opportunity for job employment. This program will assist in increasing independency, reducing illiteracy and improving the standard of living in places like Nigeria.
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