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'My academic success stems from math and science'. Suggestions on the content and how to improve it.



brayan1996 17 / 34  
Jan 3, 2016   #1
Since a very young age, math and science have been the main subjects from which much of my academic success stems. Both of these subjects have given me the opportunity to learn the new language that both fields have to offer. Such languages are like any other language, but there is one difference. Unlike other languages, math and science are universal. Many people, if not all, are somewhat familiar with the language that revolves around both subjects. It is for this reason that I have always excelled in these subjects. Another reason why I have excelled in math and science is because I have known these languages throughout my entire life. My skills in math and science have traveled with me to America, a place where English is the dominant language. The skills that have accompanied me on this journey have enabled me to assimilate to the American culture by giving me the tools necessary for success.

As was mentioned before, math is a language unlike any other. This language is one that opens an individual to a world where reality is far beyond simplicity. In other words, a person who has a strong foundation in math is able to picture out the numerical computations that have gone into the construction of a project. Such ability is one that, without a doubt, takes time and practice. Both of these components are the ones that I use when it comes to math. I never stop challenging myself, even when the courses I take prove to be an unbearable challenge. Because mathematics is a subject that demands critical thinking, I make sure that practice is always in my schedule. Such practice is seen whenever I go to the store. I force myself to make mental computations of the things that I purchase before the cashier does it for me. In doing so, I am able to train my brain to think without relying on someone else. The restless nights that I spend practicing skills beyond my level is something that I would never change. The set of lens that I have gained with math by challenging myself with courses, such as calculus, have allowed me to gain confidence in taking risks. This is another factor to which I attribute my success in math. The courage that I have to take risks despite the potential failure that may arise in the future. However, failure is not something that I guide myself with. I always try to keep my mind fixated on the idea that I will succeed. I never underestimate all that I can bring to the table, especially when it is related to a subject like math.

Likewise, the language of science has changed the way that I perceive the world. Of the many fields that science has, I have only been able to expose myself to the physical and life sciences. The main courses that I have taken within these two branches include chemistry and biology. Another route in the science field that I have also exposed myself to is research. As little as it seems, the amount of knowledge that I have amassed in these areas is far more than what I had ever imagined. Much of what I know is due to the amount of interest that science sparks in me. Like math, science requires a student to have an inquisitive mind. In other words, one must be willing to ask questions that arise from bewilderment. In asking those questions, a student is able to learn at his/her own pace. Because of this, questioning everything around me is a factor that goes into my success in science. Whenever I am confused about a topic, such as the origin of the universe or what makes us human, I strive to ask questions. The beauty of asking these questions is the fact that the answers I receive help me get back on track. In respect to being involved in science research during the summer, I see those opportunities as a way to challenge myself. Challenges like these are the ones that feed my hunger for knowledge. These challenges do not completely satisfy my hunger because whenever a person is deeply devoted to a particular subject there is no end to learning. Learning simply becomes the fuel that feeds our unceasing hunger.

Nevertheless, the success that I have encountered with math and science has been the result of dedication and the love that I have for both subjects. Both of these subjects have allowed me to live life differently by giving me the opportunity to question all that surrounds me. It is for this reason, that I strongly look forward to a career in the STEM field. As a college undergraduate, I hope to continue challenging myself with courses and internships that put my math and science skills into practice. One of the many courses I hope to master is physics. Opening myself to the world of physics will give me the ability to study the mechanisms that play a part in how airplanes fly. In doing so, I will be able to accomplish my dreams of becoming an airline pilot.

vangiespen - / 4077  
Jan 4, 2016   #2
Brayan, if you are planning to use this for a scholarship application, you have a lot of work to do in terms of revising it. You are offering a lengthy discussion of what you want to study, what you have studied, and how you have studied it. As a biographical narrative and a discussion of your major, this statement certainly does the job. As an application essay, the reviewer will start reading the first few sentences and have immediate boredom set in. He won't finish reading this because it does not tell him anything about why you deserve the scholarship. It takes to long to get to the point, which will definitely not work in your favor.

What you have to do is revise this essay. Redirect the content to instead showcase what your ambitions for your future are. Detail your plans for your future that can only happen if you complete your studies. No, I do not mean the flashy car and money in the bank. Think of a more intimate ambition such as ending world hunger and bringing world peace. I know, its an exaggeration on my part but those are the kinds of ideas that the scholarship will be impressed to know about and help them decide if your dreams and ambitions for the future, both personal and social, are a good fit for their requirements.

Remember, you have to sell the the scholarship committee on the idea that your dreams and ambitions are something that are attuned to their foundation goals, missions, and objectives. If you can align their expectations with your skills, ambitions, and current achievements, then you will stand a good chance of being considered for the scholarship.


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