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Aerospace engineering is the field that most piques my interest; Sandisk Scholarship



bandara 2 / 2  
Apr 27, 2013   #1
Topic: In 500 words or less, describe how you intend to utilize your degree/course of study to positively impact your field, and ultimately, the greater community.

Aerospace engineering is the field that most piques my interest. The flight dynamics interest me, especially the parts that make the 40 tons of metal soar through the sky smoothly, at a high elevation and while increasing speed. Every time I hear of news about space exploration flight I would drop everything else and dream that someday in the future I would be able to construct that sophisticated piece of machinery. Hundreds and thousands of years ago, the flight of humankind was only a dream, but now in the present time we are expanding our flight path into space. It is going to be extremely interesting to see how far we can extend our flight path in the future.

The more I dive into the field of engineering, the more I am amazed with all the technological advances that our society has made today. I want to someday work for NASA. I believe NASA is the most suited for my aerospace engineering interest because NASA is one of the first frontiers of space exploration. "That's one small step for a man, a giant leap for mankind", Neal Armstrong said. His words continue to fuel my dream of one day joining NASA.

With my degree, I will be able to participate in their programs to improve space transportation. It means that I will have a helping hand in improving the efficiency of space exploration because space is vast and we have barely touched the tip of the iceberg. In these past decades, no one knows what else could be out there in the uncharted territory of space. By improving the efficiency we might even carve up a new path for us to explore in space. In which we might discover things that can be a benefit to human kind.

The achievements NASA has gained in the field of space flight inspired me to be excited for what the future could hold for the exploration of space. I also feel excited for all the possibilities my future holds with the aerospace engineering degree I will earn. I dream that with the degree I earn I will be able to contribute and create changes in the space exploration community.

Bearcat2017 1 / 2  
Apr 27, 2013   #2
I think your vocabulary is very mature and well done, however you need to watch the tense of your essay. If you start the essay in present tense, stay in present tense. If you start is past tense, stay in past tense. I highlighted some of the tense changes as an example.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Apr 30, 2013   #3
Aerospace engineering is the field that most piques my interest. The flight dynamics interest me, especially the parts that make the 40 tons of metal soar through the sky smoothly, at a high elevation and while increasing speed.

This is how I suggest to start with;
[i]I always got fascinated with the idea that how the parts that make the 40 tons of metal soar through the sky smoothly, at a high elevation and while increasing speed. Yes, Aerospace Engineering is the field that mesmerized my interest.[/i]

I feel you drag a little more on emphasizing your passion for aerospace engineering.... Better pay a little attention to that.... Overall, good writing !
Good luck!


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