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Answers for four questions. Scholarship Application For Graduate Coursework



digaprasiska 10 / 27  
Mar 6, 2017   #1
Please help me to correcting my essay for Scholarship Application.
Thanks

Briefly describe your duties/responsibilities

(max. 250 words)

I have two main duties in Puskesmas Ngronggot organization. As a Health promotor and leader of quality management team. As health promotor, i have responsible to analyze, manage the health comunity issues, and guide the community to find the best suitable solution for their health issues, educating and promoting health knowledge to the community to change their bad behavior so improved in public health issues can be reached, and advocating to related sectoral to gain support about implementation of health community program. I am demanded to be creative, open minded, and flexible adaptation because each area has its unique culture and diversities. It wasn't easy as I though, consequently, i have gained experience in facing manage health issues in several diversities point of views that made my ability improved in health management issues.

As the leader for quality management team, i have responsible with my team to conduct planning of improving quality of the services provided by Puskesmas Ngronggot from the health services, programs, and administration, monitoring and evaluating the implementation of improving quality management system, and making the follow up planning to improve and maintain the quality. I am demanded to have strong leadersip personality to create condusive environtment between my team in order to maintain the quality of the health services, programs, and administration field since the members has diversities bacground such as, doctor, midwifery, finance, and IT expert. (231 words)

Describe a situation when you had to identify a problem and generate a solution.

(100 words)

It was in October 2015, as a new worker in Puskesmas Ngronggot, I chosen to responsible on acreditation project due to new regulation from governement about Primary/Community Health Center must be accredited in order to continue providing health services, Unfornately, This project must finishing in a year and none of the senior worker experiencing it with 9 topics (776 criterias) that must be completed.

The worst part was most of the administration and supporting documents wasn't available at the time. Although, we got supervisors from Health Regional Department that time but they weren't help enough.

What action did you take?

(150 words)

As one who was responsible in the project, I suggested to made team from the workers and divided them into 9 teams so each team had responsible to complete one topics of accreditation criterias.

To get the best result, I was dividing workers on its competence and placed them on the suited topic and chose a leader for each team. I also made deadline for each team to complete and scheduling regular meeting twice a month with the leader of each team to monitor their progress.

In every 3 months I hold self assesment for each team, they presented their topics in front of whole workers. It was held to know if the work of the team was appropriate with the accreditation demand or not and disscused difficult issues and resolved it. The team which has most progress will get compliment and small award from the head of health center

What was the outcome?

(100 words)

Even though in the process we faced some difficulty, we can manage to complete all the criterias for accreditation and submit the proposal to be accredited within a year. In the 10 -12 November 2016 the accreditor came to judge our health center.

The final outcome, our health center passes the accreditation with satisfactory result. And the most unpredictable outcome was our team work become better and our system really improve the quality of our service.

At the end of the year, our customer satisfaction level improved a lot than before.

Is my answer strong enough?
Thank you

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15388  
Mar 6, 2017   #2
Aside from the grammar accuracy problems of your essay related to spelling and punctuation, the essay passes all of the required elements to an impressive degree. Your representation of the response indicates the high level of professionalism that your work requires and also allows the reviewer to get an idea as to how you deal with stressful situation, creating and fostering team spirit, and other subordinate handling requirements. All of which can help to strengthen the idea that you are a mature and responsible person who will know how to handle and balance the demands that taking a masters degree course can take on you. I suggest that you do a final read through of your responses so that you an catch the grammar problems in relation to punctuation, spelling, and sentence development. Once you have corrected those, then you can include this essay with your application packet already.


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