Applying the scholarship program - describing the motivation for study the chosen course

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?

Firstly, I would like to introduce myself and educational background that I had in my life. My name is XXXXXX. I was born in XXXXX, XXXX, one of the ethnic groups in Myanmar. I got a Bachelor of Arts degree majoring in Geography from XXXX University, Sagaing Division in 2005. After graduation, I came to Yangon to look for further training which will make me a skillful and knowledgeable person. So, I attended some vocational training SOP (Standard Operation Procedure) class for Hotel and tourism at Staresources, Participated in Women's leadership program at Concord Institute, collaborating with Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholar and got a ward of Best Media. In 2015 attended one program with scholar of Community Development and Civic empowerment at Chiangmai University for three month course. After the training, at the short time around five months, I worked for Parliament supporting center, to support the Ethnic parliament member of Phidaungsu Hlattaw at Nay Pyi Taw. While working as a supporter of MPs, it makes me relies that if I have a skill and knowledge of the policy-making process, analyzing, Implementing and Development procedure and then I can advocate and support Ethnic MPs as a better way and contribute the country which is now in transection period of Change. After working five months in MPs Supporting center, I decided to attend Politics and Public policy at Myanmar Institute of Politics and Public policy. It is one year course and we even did a group work to write a paper and summit. Even though I attended several class of politics and public policy training, it is just a foundation for us. Due to over 60 years of mismanagement of Government in Myanmar. So, I am try to apply for the scholarship program and Study Public policy and to become specialized in the process. One of my friend who attended Australia Award Scholarship share my information about the sharing session of Australia Award scholarship program on Sedona Hotel, I attended that session and got how to search and find the passion we had. I found this cause and institution where I can achieve my goal. Because they did focus not only in theory but also in skill-based curriculum, offer to evolve the workforce and skillful person for future career. After returning I will use those skill and contribute to the country in development sector, Political reform, policy implementing and analyzing in supporting of parliament member.

The minute the reviewer reads "First, let me introduce myself", he is going to move on to the next essay. Do not include unnecessary information in this essay. Respond directly to the question being asked. This is not the essay to discuss your biography. There are probably other prompts that will allow you to do that. By not following the instructions for the discussion, the reviewer will view you as a potential problem student who cannot take kindly to following the rules, thus ruining your chances of being admitted to this academic institution.

Not once throughout this essay did you actually explain why you chose your proposed course and institution. Instead, you gave glossed over non-information hoping to cover up the fact that you have not actually chosen a course, nor a university, and yet, decided to apply for a scholarship. The reviewer will see right through this essay and disregard / reject your application. All because you did not even bother to try and respond honestly to the given written interview question.

Write a new essay. Focus on your academic goals for your proposed course and your learning considerations, such as internships and other types of practical training, that the university can offer along with an explanation of how these factors support your academic goals. These are the information that can properly address the concerns of this statement and show the reviewer that you are serious about your intentions to gain higher academic learning. Remember, you have to choose a university and a course before you can properly respond to the essay. Do not give your academic autobiography. That is not required in this statement.

I completely agree with Holt. The main focus should be why are you qualified for this programme, and how would you make the most out of it. You have to show your gumption by giving examples, elaborating each point in-depth. The application should be informative, at the same time, concise and coherent.

Thanks for your commment and advice.I will change and write it back.