Unanswered [1]
  

Home / Scholarship   % width   Posts: 5


I'm applying Wageningen NFP Scholarship, review my answer for this 3 questions



pamilaadhi 1 / 1  
Mar 8, 2017   #1

1. - What is the issue or problem that you want to address in your country?


Indonesia as the world largest archipelago promises the greatest opportunities in healthcare industries, expected to grow close to 14% by 2019. An estimated 260 million Indonesians will be covered by BPJS Kesehatan, that assume will generate a new demand in a new population group by providing affordable health services. Thus it will affect the increasing need of healthcare technology innovation, ontime supplies and well managed services including skilled manpower. Whereas current condition, high qualified health workers density over 100,000 population is still under minimum target. An immediate step was required to speed up decision making and bureaucracy for healthcare product procurement process in Indonesia.

This increasing demand whereas ageing and lifestyle changes of an entire population are the examples of challenging issues caused by global trends which Indonesia's healthcare organization must overcome in the upcoming years. If poor quality of facilities and services still remain, people will tend to seek for medical services abroad, for instance Singapore. Thus Indonesia will lose money for health care investment. In addition, unbalance innovation and management system will also cause ineffective investment.

2. - How will this course enable you to address this issue?


Good management from the first step until end of process with the openness to the customer insight are the solutions to deal successfully with these problems. By taking master in life science management Wageningen University and Research (WUR), a distinguished research management university in Europe , it will be as a bridge between the gap the world of management, innovation and entrepreneurship on the one hand and the world of science and technology on the other.

The curriculum offers exquisite programs that will enable me to interact with innovation process until dynamics supplychain process involving suppliers, producers, retailers and consumers with technical and managerial knowledge. It covers managerial, economic, sociological and environmental aspects of households and businesses in the Netherlands, Europe and the rest of the world, in both developed and developing countries. These are fundamental issues for managing health care organisations in the future as an important rules to run the business as well as to maximize perform delivering health care solution. A systematic education in WUR will be vital to achieve my goal as a leader in health care sector. This will not only enable me to give a breakthrough for Indonesian administrative patterns of public health but also to perform some creative work surely in managing both financial and resource inside in reforming Indonesia. In this regard, I deem my proposed study as a very meaningful part of my career pursuit.

3. - How will you address this issue with your position within your country?


Expecting this growing industry, we must face this sector as a business focusing on the needs of each patient, cost, and business sustainability. As a graduate from Master in Management, Economics and Consumer Studies from Wageningen University and Research, it will enable me to face the future challenge of AFTA in 2020 to become healthcare business leader in Indonesia. I perceive by taking this journey would not only make me have a broader interdisciplinary view but also encourage me to gain the skills of problem solving and decision making in organisation with strong links to economics, business, health, and other sciences. Open minded ideas to work with both private sector and government sector to solved this issues would be beneficial upon my master degree completion.

Originally come from a developing country, Indonesia, bring me one social mission. To open up our eyes to believe that education is the key to success to seek prominent chance for our intelectual growth, and could give impact to develop our country. I will working closely to the community , to educate and to develop becoming high qualified healthcare workers and services in Indonesia. As I did before, with all of Pertamina Foundation Scholarship grantees in all over Indonesia to be part of the establishment of a volunteer organization named Sobat Bumi, provide college educational resources along with give impact to green life educational campaign in order to establish the educated community. I believe sophisticated processes through the complexity of problems in healthcare that I must face during my master degree will help me to optimize my knowledge and experience. "Shooting for the moon even if you miss you will land among the stars" always be my base goals on quote to do everything in my life. I believe by giving my best shoot during my graduate program it will further boost the impact in Indonesia, at least i can do within to my closest cycle. I ponder that traveling across the ocean is a necessity in order to escalate my competence in the healthcare industry.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15461  
Mar 8, 2017   #2
Pamila, most of your responses adhere to the expected information guidelines. However, in question number 2, you should have first established your background as a professional in relation to the problem you wish to resolve. Since you are being asked to explain how the course can help you resolve the issue, it is important that you reflect the problems you indicated in the first question in the second question. This time though, you have to relate it to your current profession as the reasons why you need to train for the eventual needs of your nation. While you have yet to address the issue, you should reflect a pre-emptive personality. Explain that you hope to be better prepared than most to handle the problem when it finally arises so that you can better handle the situation and address solutions to the problem. This is the only part of the questionnaire that you need to work on a little bit more. The rest of your responses work quite well and do not really require any edits at this point.
Streetwalker 9 / 39  
Mar 8, 2017   #3
@pamilaadhi

Hi Pamila,

Your answer shows that you have done analysis on the health services issues and have rough images on how to solve them. However, I think there are some parts that are confusing and need more explanations.

For answer no. 1:

... expected to grow close to 14% by 2019. An estimated 260 million Indonesians will be covered by BPJS Kesehatan, provide sources from where you get these numbers.

From your answer, I assume there are four problems

Problem 1: increasing need of healthcare technology innovation, ontime supplies and well managed services including skilled manpower

Problem 2: speed up healthcare product procurement process

Problem 3: This increasing demand specifically, what kind of health services demanded?
whereas ageing and lifestyle changes what kind of life style changes and how should the healthcare organization response to those? of an entire population ...

Problem 4:In addition, unbalance unbalance is too board and has ambiguous meaning, so specifically, what do you mean by unbalance? innovation and management ...

For answer no. 2:

Good management from the first step until end of process with ... I think this is too board, for one solution to settle all problems mentioned in no. 1

>> By taking master in life science management Wageningen University and Research (WUR), You mentioned different master course later in your answer for no. 3.

gap the world of management, innovation and entrepreneurship on ... I notice that this was taken from the WUR web, I suggest you to change the wording and collaborate the sentences more, for reference you can look up the synonym here -> thesaurus.com

It covers managerial, economic, sociological and environmental aspects of ... It will better if you mentioned how the study not just covers the mentioned aspects but also provide specific skills and knowledge you will gain that important to address the problems in no. 1 answer.

perform some creative work surely in managing both financial and resource inside in reforming Indonesia. If you think by managing financial and resources can help to address the health issues in no.1, please provide more correlation. If you only provide this sentence alone like this, I am afraid this will cause confusion to the readers.

For answer no. 3:

>> As a graduate from Master in Management, Economics and ...
it will enable me to face the future challenge of AFTA in 2020 This problems doesn't mentioned previously in no. 1

As I did before, with all of Pertamina ... How your past achievement able to solve the health issues?

I believe by giving my best shoot during my graduate program it ... I think this part isn't required at all. It shows how motivated you are in this matter but it will be better to convey the practical and specific solutions you have in mind.
Streetwalker 9 / 39  
Mar 11, 2017   #4
@pamilaadhi

Hi Pamila,

I'm sorry for the late reply.

I'm still learning about writing as well so I hope you can regard my suggestions as references and also refer to other information that is possible to make your essay better. Of course I'm glad if my suggestions is useful to you.

Answers for no. 1 and 3 are good for now, but need to be proofreads,replace some words with more suitable one, and some grammatical errors.

For no. 2, you can take Holt's suggestion in revising your answer. Roughly, your answer should be composed according to this:

Current career -> Problems in no. 1 -> insufficient ability -> master course

And your answer should create a impression that you hope to prevent the predicted problems in no. 1 to become reality.

Hope this helps.
OP pamilaadhi 1 / 1  
Mar 17, 2017   #5
@Streetwalker
thank you for your review.
thats helping me so much.

Godbless you


Home / Scholarship / I'm applying Wageningen NFP Scholarship, review my answer for this 3 questions
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳