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"How did art affect your life?" essay. "Hope"



kthanhpn 1 / 6  
Mar 27, 2012   #1
Prompt: How have the arts shaped your life so far, and why do you believe the arts are important? What art medium(s) do you use to express yourself, and how might you apply your passion for the arts to college and beyond? (300 word limit)

Hope

When I get home from my night class, it is already dark.

Father's on the computer. He doesn't acknowledge that I just came home. Four years ago, he came to the United States "for his daughter," only to face isolation and racism from "foreigners." It's already been two years since he's been laid off. Since then, he has withdrawn from any stimulation, including alcohol. He retreats into silence; the blame is deafening.

I greet him."Hi Dad."
No response.
I go to my room. Change. Dinner. Back to my room.
And then, it starts.

First, tentatively, a note.
Then, a chord.
A scene.
A feeling.

Then, June, by Tchaikovsky.

The month that I was born in.
The Barcarolle describing a haunting yet beautiful river.
The pervasive silence of cold rage and suppressed emotions underlining the legatos.

A reminder, that once upon a time, my dad lovingly saved up three months' worth of his salary to buy this piano from a thrift store. Ironically, it's the only communication medium left between us. Every night, I still play. Some day, I hope, the silence will die.

Music doesn't shape me. It's me, the story of me, each and every day, retold and reinterpreted countless times. Music keeps my identity by sharing with people across time and space. Music reminds me of who and what I am: vulnerable and human. What month I was born in. How I, too, am worthy of love. That I AM.

Not surprisingly, I can never "perform"; my inner self's too private to be onstage. Nonetheless, through music, I've become more sensitive to feelings and hopes and dreams. In retrospect, my passion for music gives me an appreciation for life. It guides my interactions with other people. Music gives me compassion, and a medium to heal.

It's hope.

sharadarige 15 / 25  
Mar 28, 2012   #2
It's not an essay.
It looks like a poem.
Please follow the rules of writing an essay
OP kthanhpn 1 / 6  
Mar 28, 2012   #3
Hello,

Thank you for your feedback. However, I personally feel that the lyrical form conveys the music of the prompt better than typical essay format. This is probably due to personal preference; since this form feels the most like "me," (which I think suits the "art" portion of the prompt and expresses myself), I'm not planning to change.

However, are there any other comments regarding the approach? Are there any grammatical mistake? Do you have any feedback on the content?

Thank you!
Luan2 1 / 3  
Mar 28, 2012   #4
Is this supposed to be an essay or a poem? You need to rhyme it more
OP kthanhpn 1 / 6  
Mar 28, 2012   #5
Dear Luan,
What does rhyming achieve in this essay, aside from making it a poem? I think the purpose of an essay is to convey an idea. In this case, it's music.

Do you think the effect of an essay showing the influence of music on my life can be improved by making it more similar to a poem?

Thank you for your feedback.


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