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"How Athletics and Activities Have Influenced My Life." Lindy Callahan Scholarship essay.



Bcox30 1 / -  
Jan 22, 2016   #1
Please comment and correct anything that anyone sees wrong.

During my four years in high school, cheerleading has become a huge part of my life. I have benefited tremendously from this experience. I have learned aspects such as how to be disciplined in everyday life and how to be a leader to my teammates. It has also taught me how to take on the tough challenges that life throws my way. Cheerleading has been a true eye-opening experience these past few years.

With any success in a team, there has to be discipline. Discipline is knowing what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I learned my first year that discipline is something very important on a cheer team. As a base in a pyramid, I have a girl's life in my hands, so I cannot act wrong or mess around. If I did I would probably end up hurting that girl as well as myself. Throughout the rest of the years, discipline grew more and more as I matured. I learned that everyone needs discipline in life whether it be sports, school, or their career.

My first three years on the cheer team, I saw so many great leaders come and go. I hoped that I could be as great as they were. I never realized how much responsibility a leader has until this year when I became a captain. As a captain, I had to demonstrate leadership in many different ways. I helped teammates when they were struggling with cheers, stunts, and sometimes their personal lives. If a team member was struggling with stunting, I would positively encourage them that it would get better and suggest how to make it easier on them. I have learned so many different responsibilities from being a leader.

Life throws tough challenges at everyone. Some may be small ones and some challenges may be more than that person can handle. In cheerleading, I learned that mere inches are the toughest challenges. One half a step to slow or to fast then a base would not be able to be catch their flyer. The inches a team needs are everywhere around them. They are in every performance, every minute, and every second on that mat. If my team learns a new stunt that is harder than we usually perform, we fight for the inch we need to succeed. Those little inches add up and that is the difference between winning and losing a competition.

The values and aspects I have learned from cheerleading will help me in my chosen career choice of a Nurse Practitioner. I will be seeing and treating patients on a daily basis, so I will need to be disciplined in my work. If I am not disciplined then a patient could die because of my mistake. I will need leadership skills in my career because I will make choices and have people working under me. In my college years, I will need to know how to get through the toughest challenges because I will be stressed with all of classes. With all of the aspects, I will succeed in my career just like I did in cheerleading.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Jan 23, 2016   #2
Brittany, I read and understand your essay and I believe it's a good one.
You have written it in a manner that any reader will understand and will be able to follow through
the essay and the message that you want them to get out of the essay.

However, I suggest cutting down your paragraphs and bring them to a minimum of 3 bold ones.
Do this in order to make the essay clean and look more professional, the presentation of your essay
is also key in making it to the admission.

The words you use are also easy to understand, this made the essay better and resulted to a good written
one. Overall, it's a good essay, write more and try to play with words in order to create
and enhance the essence of your writing.

I hope my insights help.


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