"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
--> LOVE THIS QUOTE and MOVIE :) but i dont think you should really start out this way. I mean it's cliche and it sounds a bit unprofessional..
You can think of another good hook : )
My solution and plan: to be involved in anything and everything. I enrolled in harder classes, signed up for clubs, and went to all the games with the band, make this into two sentences but the activity that I have found most meaningful is my volunteer work throughout the community.
volunteer work throughout the
--> volunteer work within the...
After all of this, I feel like I have the best darn chocolates around.
--> Try ending it differently. I know you are trying to connect it back to the beginning but I don't really think you can really validate this statement with only a few sentences that is required...
(remember this is just MY opinion..)
-Ummm...I couldn't help but notice that you never really
elaborate on one of your activities
--> You might want to stick with one thing. Because I am sure you listed all those activities on the common app
GOOD LUCK!