I believe networking and connection provides a fundamental background in achieving success

hello , i am applying for chevening scholarship and want you help to review the essay below. as the deadline is approcahing soon , i would like your feedback soon . thank u in advance !!!

Networking question
Chevening is looking for individuals with strong networking skills , who will engage with the chevening community and influence and lead other in their chosen profession.

I believe networking and connection provides a fundamental background in achieving success, trust and overall growth in individual authoritarian. Developing an intriguing network and connection solely depend on building genuine and authentic relation with people as friends while talking with them in professional level. Constant communication with the old colleagues and friends help me to maintain my networks and good communication with the new people would help me to build new networks. I have worked for multi sector nutrition program and researches in various teams which have strengthen my capacity to build good rapport, relationship , network with community people in field, my colleagues , staff of various local, national and international level organizations ,seniors in department and ministry of health and government professionals. I worked as the project coordinator, organizing events such as meeting and greeting new and old colleagues, convincing and motivating participants and other people to be more involved in educational events was my strength because of my friendly nature. I was given a prestigious position to work as a "water sanitation and hygiene cluster officer" (WASH) in water and sanitation based national non governmental organization during my tenure in Suaahara program, where I acted as a coordinator with regional and district government personnel to achieve success in implementing and completing various events and programs like open deceleration free programs and clean house certification program. As a result of our team's continuous coordination, networking and meetings with national level multi sector authorities, our plan and progress were reflected in red book of the government, which was a key step to make the district authorities responsible for the program. While working for Suaahara program, I supported the initiativeof female community health workers to locally produce super flour on their own. As our organization was founder of super flour, I felt the need to be responsible to support to help built a society free of malnourishment. We provided technical support and exposure visit to super flour company regarding production, storage and marketing .We also helped them to have better markets by connecting them to officials of district health offices and local authorities. Instead of importing, district health offices and local authorities now buy needed superflour from them and recommend to others. What drove me to support this initiative was their concept of establishing malnutrition free community and donating superflours to disadvantaged group of the community from their profit. Later, we provided them a platform to be recognized in national level nutrition dissemination program and expand their network where senior authorities encouraged and appreciated their effort. if I were fortunate to be awarded with this scholarship, I will inform, guide and motivate the people in my home country espially poor and females who are interested and in need to apply for chevening scholarships. After receiving the needed qualification and competencies, I would use my networks at national, regional and district level health authorities to achieve my post study plan and long term goal and highlight major health issues in rural area and plan a necessary program to promote health and well being with and for the community especially of the females and children.

One essay in one thread please

very well written but u need to organize it. Provide an introduction, body then a conclusion. Other than that it is perfect in my opinion.

Bonica, I suggest that you reformat your essay first thing. It was horribly difficult for me to read your essay because of the lack of line breaks. You need to divide the topic paragraphs in order to allow the reader to better understand and remember the information you are providing. In the current format, which is non-existent, I can't even remember what your opening statement was and if you had any real networking skills to speak of. So I had to read the essay all over again and be assaulted by the tight words on the page. Imagine if you had the reviewer himself trying to read this, he would not even get past the first few sentences before giving up on your paper.

That said, you will need to cut down on the content of your paper for clarity purposes. If possible choose only the most important networking skill and example that you can speak of and work on presenting that in the best possible manner to the reader. I can't pick out the most important networking exercise for you because of the difficulty in reading the text. I trust that this is something that you can do for yourself once you revise the format of the page.

Maybe, once you have properly formatted the paper, I can better assess what you are trying to inform the reviewer about. In the meantime, please make sure that your conclusion includes a reference to how you plan to use your present and future network to help promote Chevening and, quite possibly, assist the scholarship in widening their own network as well. That is a prompt requirement that was not really addressed in your statements.