Just finished writing a biographical essay and I would really like to hear opinions/revisions! Please, and thanks!
Prompt: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow
Essay: Society loves the story of an overachiever. Whether it's an inspiring tale of a billionaire who went from rags to riches or a magical run by a Cinderella team in postseason play, mankind is fascinated by the concept of an individual or group of individuals overcoming supposedly impossible circumstances to achieve success. However, I've always found the term "overachieving" to be inaccurate when applied to people who prevail over unfavorable conditions. When a person endowed with natural abilities and talents chooses to do the work necessary to become successful, is it really proper to label him or her an overachiever? Or is it simply a matter of he or she doing what we as people are inherently called to do? My goal is to put forth my best effort in every aspect of my life, not because I want to be an overachiever, but because I feel that's what's required of me. While being raised in a low-income family might place me at a disadvantage, I can't help but be reminded of my mother's old axiom; there are no excuses. My parent's struggles along with obstacles in my own life have helped shape my aspirations and allowed me to become who I am today. I have no regrets; I wouldn't change a thing.
My parents faced many struggles of their own. Neither attended college and my mother was the only one of her four siblings to graduate high school. My father was in a high-speed car wreck in his teens that destroyed several disks in his back, making any tasks requiring physical labor extremely difficult for him to perform. Still, my father got a job in a factory to provide for his wife and two young children. We might've been struggling financially, but my brother and I were never aware. My parents worked hard to ensure that we had every basic necessity and more. From taking us to church every Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday night to making us give them daily reports on our school assignments and grades, Mom and Dad went to great lengths to make sure my brother and I knew the value of hard work and doing the right thing. I was raised in home of love and encouragement, a trait that cannot be overlooked when analyzing what makes me the person I am today.
The supportive environment I was brought up in helped to shape my philosophy and deal with issues that arose as I got older. The economy took a turn for the worse, and my father lost his job at the factory. For a family with a son who was about to start driving, this could've spelled disaster. However, as my parents had taught me, I took action and applied for a summer job to help finance my car expenses. There are no excuses. My summer was spent balancing football practice, basketball practice, weights, drivers ed, and work, sometimes all on the same day. Yet, I was not overwhelmed; for me it was only a matter of doing what I knew was necessary. Another obstacle in my life occurred when I tore my ACL in a basketball game my junior year. I had a promising young track career that had been plagued by injuries since I had been in high school. A torn ACL was the equivalent of a death sentence, but I was determined not to miss another track season. Instead of electing to have reconstructive surgery that would cause me to miss yet another season, I decided to push through the pain and build my muscles to the point where I could run on my injured leg. My efforts payed off; I set two school records and advanced to the State finals that season. I credit all of this not to myself, but to the strong work ethic that has been instilled in me since I was a boy.
To say that I've persevered almost seems hyperbole to me. Sure, I have had a few obstacles thrown my way so far, but in my opinion the key to happiness lies in distinguishing the things a person can and cannot control. Does coming from a small town and a family of limited financial means make certain dreams more difficult to achieve? Absolutely. However, the most beautiful thing about our country is that all people are provided the freedom to work themselves up into the highest ranks of society. While I was born into a family that has never had much money, I have been blessed with intellect and a work ethic that provide me all of the resources I need to reach the top. I'm not an overachiever. I'm simply an individual looking to make the most my life on this planet and use the talents I've been blessed to help better the people around me. It is my duty as a human being to put forth my best effort in everything that I do and overcome any unfavorable circumstances. Like my mother says, there are no excuses.
Prompt: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors caused you to grow
Essay: Society loves the story of an overachiever. Whether it's an inspiring tale of a billionaire who went from rags to riches or a magical run by a Cinderella team in postseason play, mankind is fascinated by the concept of an individual or group of individuals overcoming supposedly impossible circumstances to achieve success. However, I've always found the term "overachieving" to be inaccurate when applied to people who prevail over unfavorable conditions. When a person endowed with natural abilities and talents chooses to do the work necessary to become successful, is it really proper to label him or her an overachiever? Or is it simply a matter of he or she doing what we as people are inherently called to do? My goal is to put forth my best effort in every aspect of my life, not because I want to be an overachiever, but because I feel that's what's required of me. While being raised in a low-income family might place me at a disadvantage, I can't help but be reminded of my mother's old axiom; there are no excuses. My parent's struggles along with obstacles in my own life have helped shape my aspirations and allowed me to become who I am today. I have no regrets; I wouldn't change a thing.
My parents faced many struggles of their own. Neither attended college and my mother was the only one of her four siblings to graduate high school. My father was in a high-speed car wreck in his teens that destroyed several disks in his back, making any tasks requiring physical labor extremely difficult for him to perform. Still, my father got a job in a factory to provide for his wife and two young children. We might've been struggling financially, but my brother and I were never aware. My parents worked hard to ensure that we had every basic necessity and more. From taking us to church every Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday night to making us give them daily reports on our school assignments and grades, Mom and Dad went to great lengths to make sure my brother and I knew the value of hard work and doing the right thing. I was raised in home of love and encouragement, a trait that cannot be overlooked when analyzing what makes me the person I am today.
The supportive environment I was brought up in helped to shape my philosophy and deal with issues that arose as I got older. The economy took a turn for the worse, and my father lost his job at the factory. For a family with a son who was about to start driving, this could've spelled disaster. However, as my parents had taught me, I took action and applied for a summer job to help finance my car expenses. There are no excuses. My summer was spent balancing football practice, basketball practice, weights, drivers ed, and work, sometimes all on the same day. Yet, I was not overwhelmed; for me it was only a matter of doing what I knew was necessary. Another obstacle in my life occurred when I tore my ACL in a basketball game my junior year. I had a promising young track career that had been plagued by injuries since I had been in high school. A torn ACL was the equivalent of a death sentence, but I was determined not to miss another track season. Instead of electing to have reconstructive surgery that would cause me to miss yet another season, I decided to push through the pain and build my muscles to the point where I could run on my injured leg. My efforts payed off; I set two school records and advanced to the State finals that season. I credit all of this not to myself, but to the strong work ethic that has been instilled in me since I was a boy.
To say that I've persevered almost seems hyperbole to me. Sure, I have had a few obstacles thrown my way so far, but in my opinion the key to happiness lies in distinguishing the things a person can and cannot control. Does coming from a small town and a family of limited financial means make certain dreams more difficult to achieve? Absolutely. However, the most beautiful thing about our country is that all people are provided the freedom to work themselves up into the highest ranks of society. While I was born into a family that has never had much money, I have been blessed with intellect and a work ethic that provide me all of the resources I need to reach the top. I'm not an overachiever. I'm simply an individual looking to make the most my life on this planet and use the talents I've been blessed to help better the people around me. It is my duty as a human being to put forth my best effort in everything that I do and overcome any unfavorable circumstances. Like my mother says, there are no excuses.
