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'Biology and I will help people around me' - APCF Area of Study Prompt



maianh94 6 / 17  
Mar 29, 2012   #1
I feel like i'm listing a bunch of stuff that doesn't really help make the essay strong, but I don't know another way to make it all tie up! Oh, I'm also at the word limit, so yeah... Help me, por favor -____-

content help is always better than grammar help :D

Why did you choose your area of study, and what you hope to accomplish in your future career?

Looking at my six-year-old cousin's princess infatuation brings back fond memories of my own childhood. However, instead of Barbies and shining tiaras, I find that my memories are stocked full of vivid photos of rainforest and savannah wildlife. My quiet nature as a child induced a curiosity about the world around me and led me to decide on a biology major. With a biology major, I hope I can help other people around me and still be able to work in a world I love.

I was a shy kid and preferred to immerse myself in the world of nature instead of socializing. An avid reader, the books I liked the most were the ones about animals, which had exciting pictures and interesting facts that opened up a new world to me. Even plants amazed me, and I recall my enthusiasm at being able to grow a pumpkin seed in a damp Ziploc bag, plant it outside, and watch it invade the loamy earth on the side of the house (demolishing my mom's greens in the process). AP Biology was a difficult class, but it was one where the content always fascinated me, and I would linger over the photos of cnidarians and corpse-smelling flowers as I read the textbook. While I am much more confident and outgoing today than I was before, life science still has a strong hold on me, and I have never wanted to major in anything other than biology.

With my future career, I hope to help others, enjoy my job, and earn a sufficient amount of money. My dream job is to become a veterinarian or a pediatrician, both of which are capable of helping others. Being a veterinarian has always been a dream of mine. For me, one of the greatest joys in the world is to be with animals, and becoming a veterinarian would allow me to be surrounded by them and help them as well. After teaching at my Vietnamese school for three years, I discovered that children are much less intimidating than adults, and that I enjoy working with them. As a pediatrician, I can keep children healthy while staying inside my comfort zone. It may seem crude to desire a good salary in my future career, but I'm simply being frank. Without a sustainable salary, I can support neither my parents nor my future family, and helping those I love is a priority to me. Also, only when I make enough money to support myself will I be able to help people in less fortunate conditions for free. Though I hate to say it, money plays just as important a role in my future career as helping others and liking my job.

Hopefully, my love for life will help me find a job that meets all the prerequisites I have set for it. I hope I will continue to enjoy biology during my college years, and that I will become someone who can bring happiness to everyone around me.

Athena - / 82  
Mar 30, 2012   #2
Hey =)

I find that the approach towards the topic is pretty good!


However, instead of Barbiesdolls and shining tiaras, I find that my memories are stocked withfull of vivid photos of rainforests and savannah wildlife.

I just felt that you could chronologically list the reasons which led you to take up a Biology Major. As in, first you started with your childhood, then moved on to your aspirations and then back to a childhood incident.

Instead, move from the first paragraph and gradually to your aspirations at the end.

I'm sure that you'd write a great essay :) All the best!


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