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Buying house for my parents/hope to develop technology to help those with stuttering (APIASF prompt)



anonymous2014 2 / 2  
Dec 28, 2014   #1
In 500 words or less, please describe your short-term and long-term personal and education/career goals and what has helped to shape your goals. What specific steps will you take to reach your personal/education/career goals?

Knowing what my parents had sacrificed in hope of establishing a better life and future for their children, I owe them a greatly for what they do. I hope to take care of my parents and provide them comforts in the future so that they would not have to suffer as much as they currently are. My parents used to own a house and a business about ten years ago back in Vietnam. However, they have sold all of their valuable possessions to go to America. Back in Vietnam, they owned an astonishing house and were bosses of their employees. Now, they are part of the labor pool and renting a compact one-bedroom one-bathroom apartment. My dad is currently a cook at a fast food center; every time he comes home, the oily smell of his clothing lingers. Being clumsy and uncareful, he occasionally get burns on his arms and fingers. Similarly, my mom is a waitress, who stands and walks back and forth every day serving customers. As a result of continuous unrest, she often experience painful leg cramps during the night time.

Seeing my parents endure such hardships, I feel obligated as their daughter to relieve their sufferings. My parents have often dream of owning a house ever since we have moved to America. One of my long-term goals is to purchase a two-bedroom two-bathroom house with a welcoming living room and a spacious kitchen for my mom and dad to enjoy. Since I am only a high school student, I will take many years before reaching this goal. Prior to purchasing a house for me parents, I first must successfully have a job or a career. Before that step, I must attend college and get my bachelor's degree in biomedical engineering.

Growing up as a stutterer, it was difficult for me to get my message across and it was a struggle to say as simple as a couple of sentences without stuttering. As easy as it is for a typical student to make friends or participate in class, it is a laborious and challenging process for me. I am in constant fear of other students mocking the way I speak and the way I sound. Being a stutterer myself, I can understand and connect with those who also suffer from this condition. Their level of confidence and self-esteem does drain as a result of the condition. In addition, stuttering leads to loss of social participation and creates problem in communicating with others. I yearn to end these complications because I believe that everyone deserves to be happy and that no one should be restricted to be so. Since no exact cause and cure of the condition has been discovered, I hope to, with my biomedical engineering degree, find a way to help mitigate this condition through the use of medical technology.

Puppytime 3 / 11  
Dec 28, 2014   #2
You have two great stories here, but I think your essay would improve if you connected them somehow. Try to connect the experiences of your parents and your own if you can. Both of your goals involve helping others, showing strong empathy and compassion, which can be explored to show personal growth. I would also focus more attention on the second story because it deals more with your experiences, and talk more about how seeing your parents sacrifice affected you. Hoped this helped!


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