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I am a candidate for Graduate scholarship for MS in Information System at Murray State university



samirsinha 1 / 1  
Feb 29, 2016   #1
Write a 400-500 word essay describing your extracurricular activities and how you plan to use your time at Murray State University to increase intercultural understanding, both of yourself and those around you

Hello guys,
Please help me as I am not aware about what shall i write about in my scholarship essay.Though I have prepared a draft .I would request you to please go through it and provide your comments.

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In this essay, I want to introduce myself as a candidate for Graduate Scholarship Program 2016.I am a Post Graduate in Computer Applications presently working in a Leading IT consulting Firm.

From my childhood, as any other child of my age, I was interested in games and sports. During my school days I was a key member of my school Basketball team. Besides that, I use to be an important participant in almost all sports, social and cultural events of my school. But my most significant extracurricular activity was imparting free educational coaching to poor neighborhood students. It was a proud moment for me when some of them excelled in their exams and could get good jobs. Whenever, they meet me and profusely thank me, I always tell them to be kind and helpful to needy neighborhood children. During my college days I used to be an important participant in most of the social events of the college, showcasing India's vivid and vibrant cultural mix. I was also an important member of college debate society.

UNESCO's Universal Declaration on Cultural Diversity (2001) defines culture as "the spiritual, material, intellectual and emotional features of a social group" including the values, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, customs, traditions, practices, identity, lifestyle, language and religious faith of diverse peoples. Without understanding culture, the knowledge and the means of communication needful for a wide and freely given service of humanity can hardly be attained.

Culture is considered to be the backbone of every society. India has a very rich cultural heritage. According to Prof. AL Basham, "The ancient civilization of India differs from those of Egypt, Mesopotamia and Greece, in that its traditions have been preserved without a break down to the present day". Our society is living proof of the doctrine that culture is the attribute of a land and its people and not of their religion. Coming from such a rich cultural background, I consider myself in a better position to understand the importance of culture in the making of a society.

I strongly feel that conflicts in various parts of the world are due to lack of religious, ethnic and cultural understanding of each other. If we are able to inculcate inter-cultural understanding in a sustained way, we would be in a better position to mitigate the suffering of mankind to a great extent. To understand a country or society better it is always advisable to study its culture first.

In view of the above facts promoting intercultural understanding in the University campus is a very noble idea. Given a chance to study in your University, I would like to promote intercultural understanding and religious harmony among students by organizing various cultural and social events. Communication through classroom interactions, print, electronic and social media can be used as important tools to achieve this goal.

If the scholarship committee finds me an appropriate candidate for the grant of scholarship, I would be in a better position to devote my more time for the aforesaid activities without bothering much of my financial resources required to complete my course. The scholarship will give me enough space and comfort to vigorously pursue my passion along with my studies.

justivy03 - / 2265  
Mar 2, 2016   #2
Samir, I have read and understand your essay for this particular prompt,
here's what I found.

- The word you choose is a good selection and the phrases easily correspond with the idea that
you want to convey in your essay.

- This essay is for a graduate scholarship program in a prestigious university, it will help if
you focus on your academic achievements, this will help the admission see the purpose of your essay

- The formality of your essay is also essential as this is going to be reviewed and criticized for
your admission to the institution, having said that, it will help if you keep your essay straight forward,
intelligently creative and proper timeline should be observed.

I suggest that you revise your essay by incorporating the above remarks and when you do, make sure that
you also watch your paragraphs, they should be bold and not small fragmented ones.
I hope this helps.


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