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"changing interior" - one beneficial change at your school



vashi 1 / 1  
Nov 15, 2010   #1
first of all hi to everyone it's my first post (and I'm not good in english too so help me :) )

subject of topic is one change at your school :
I go to a small school but I like it because it gives me a good education. But if i could change one thing in my school it would be interior. It's really old fashion, I think that it effects on th rating of the school.

Nowadays more and more schools are build and all are constructed with modern equipment. First off all our school needs new computers. We have old ones and it's really hard to work on them. Every year technology develops and we have to make sure that children have access on modern technology. When students have comfortable term he or she will concentrat only on learning.

Some people say that you don't need good terms to study but I don't agree with it. If I was a parent I would take my child to a school where he feels more comfortable. I would build a gum too.

Sport is very important nowadays. While you are studing it is important to take care of your health too. I think that new sport hall would bring more children in our school and your school would get bigger. people would come to study there from other parts of town too. It won't be a small school any more and it might get noticed by Minisrty of Education.

I believe our school would benefit greatly from changing interior.It would make your school bigger and more popular and it will have good effect on children too.

zzan1212 3 / 12  
Nov 17, 2010   #2
hi Beka,

Uhmmmm, let me guess. It is a Toefl essay, isn't it?

If it is, firstly, i think you should longer your essay. According to my own experience, the longer your essay is, the higher score you can get. You can do it by analyzing more at each of your reason/ your point

Secondly, here are some of my ideas:

- I go to a small school but I like it because it gives me a good education --> although my school is a small one, i love it because of its good education.

- But if i could change one thing in my school, it would be its interior

- Nowadays more and more schools are built

- First of all

- Every year technology develops - > technology develops annually

- we have to make sure that children have access on modern technology -> we need to be able to access to modern technology

- When students are provided the best condition , they will concentrate only on learning.

- Some people say that you don'tjavascript:paste_strinL(selektion,%209,%20'',%20' ',%20'') need good condition to study but I don't agree with them

- If I have a child I would take him to a school where he feels the most comfortable

- our school would get bigger

Good luck,
OP vashi 1 / 1  
Nov 21, 2010   #3
yes it's Toefl essay :)
thenks for advise
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 26, 2010   #4
Here, you can learn 2 new things:

1.) The term is "old fashioned" with ed at the end.

2.) Nowadays more and more schools are build and ... In this case, use "built"
Nowadays more and more schools are built, and ...

I build the school.
We build the school.
The school is built by us.
The school was built by us.
The school wil be built by us.

:-)


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